Just the thing

Here it is already the 25 of October and I have only blogged once.  I tell you- this school year is insane.  And this weirdly warm weather has kept me participating in the outside activities that keep my from computer.  Which, you know, is fine too. Mostly when I do sit down at night,  I can barely think, so blogging is not high on the list of things I can do without actual functioning brain power.

Arms full of girlies

Last week I took a lil trip to LaCrosse, WI for the Wisconsin Art Ed Association Art convention for 2 days.  It was a super trip and there is a lot of new stuff that is in my art teaching trunk of  goodies.  And then after that was done, I drove on down to Janesville and spent a little downtime with the Mad-oldest son and his lovely wife Sarah Grace, and of course the grand girls from the south.  OH my, this was exactly what I needed.

The Mississippi River at 7 am- did the 5K!

This is incredibly big- the pic does no justice 

The first 6 weeks of school have been intense and fast.  I literally never sit down, except for Fridays when I grade my high school kids during class time.  The days go so fast and I, being the person that I am, like to do new things and of course that means even more time making new stuff.  And throw in a new class with an hour less prep time and there for less time to do more....  oy.  But whatev.

Chatted with the keynote speaker- Cassie Stephens.

I really don't know that I have ever felt so completely relaxed after a time away as I was this time.  I am not sure why, but it recharged my batteries like never before.  LaCrosse is pretty stress-free.  Not a huge town, easy to navigate, really great scenery (Mississippi River, people!) and some good eats and drinks....  then of course there was that whole grandchildren thing for a couple days!

That bridge!

We had a great time going to the Enchanted Forest - which was an evening, lit-with-candles walk from fairy tale to fairy tale, with a twist!  And we saw a science festival earlier in the day. Combine with some power shopping in the afternoon, and a little Mexican food in the evening before the night walk and you have a great day!

I went to school feeling super great and actually, I have recovered pretty quickly from the last few days.  The end of the quarter comes this Friday and we are all working towards getting the kids caught  up with their work and finish up grading and such.  Boy do I have a pile of stuff to grade.

Anyway, I know I have done other things this month- coughahemBayfield- but I am now too tired to think of what those things were, but there is always tomorrow!  :)

Which is true of life for the most part- there IS always tomorrow.  And that is sure to be a joy.

Saying goodbye......

You can't go home again

A few weeks ago, I was in Janesville visiting my son and daughter-in-law and also catching up with  and meeting old and new friends.  It was overall a wonderful trip, however much driving I did!  One thing I had on my list, was to stop back at the farm, where I needed to check out and see what things were left there and what might need to be rescued before we have it cleaned out.

I have been getting used to the idea of this not being my home for a long time now.  The first part of this transition of course came from my college days.  Once you leave home like that, you just don't quite feel like you belong there anymore.  Which is the way it is supposed to be I am sure!  Growing up, maturing, spreading your wings and striking out on your own: all part of life.  But I still felt like I could live there, and did.  It was a little disconcerting when they erased all traces of my room the fall after my last summer living there.  Dad always said he was going to cut off our rooms as we moved out so we couldn't move back in again. We always laughed at that, but little did my brother Russ or I realize that they were sort of going to do that!!!  They knocked out the wall between our rooms and made themselves a giant bedroom.  Can you imagine??  Rose and Ed had rooms upstairs, and none of us wanted to go up there!!

My old room that became mom and dad's room

Mom and Dad's original room- later the guest room

The next phase of course was getting married and moving away from the house.  In my case, I moved clear over to the other side of the state.  I was in a remote area, and I was an urban kind of girl.  What the heck was I thinking??  The family farm was a place of refuge, a place that was warmer, safe, familiar.  People loved me there, they did not think I was a stranger, an interloper, someone who dared to have a mind of her own.  Quiet little Debi was quite the boat rocker in the north.  Who knew?  I was glad to dive into the warmth of my familiar surroundings, and Fred had to find a way to nestle in himself.  I think he did, because there was a lot of mutual adoration going on between him and my parents.

The kitchen 

But over the years, I began to feel like I fit in up north.  My family helped me flow into the stream of the community and I developed deep, rich friendships.  I discovered who was important in my life and who I really only needed to see once or twice a year, in spite of living in the same town.  The family farm was a place then to vacation!  The kids loved it there, the Grandparents were thrilled to have us come and visit. We did so many things together, enjoyed each other's company, had family gatherings large and small.  My brothers and sister had families and we all became close, even though we were spread out all over the state and one in Minnesota!  We always met up and hung out at the farm.

The last few years have been difficult to deal with, but I have adjusted, yet again.  My mom lived alone for several years after my dad died.  Home became a place to come to terms with the end of my childhood as I knew it.  My daddy was gone, my mom is going.  You process the fact that things will never be the same, you could never go back to what you had when life seemed simple and safe.  It is a really hard transition, but things do get easier.... sort of.  We had to move mom to an assisted living facility a few years ago, and that is when the farm has changed from home to house.  Indeed, it is not the place you live, it is the people you live with that make a home.  My family home, the place I lived from kindergarten through my wedding is no longer there.  The house is, the home is not. The furniture is being dispersed, the belongings have been tucked into cars and taken to other locales.  The memories are stored in each of us.  Soon, the rest of the "stuff" that life brought to the farm will be gone, cleaned out and the house will be emptied.

It had gotten to a point lately that going to the farm was not hard to do.  It wasn't painful, it might have been a little eerie, a little spooky in a way, but not hard.  This trip was hard.  I saw it in tones of sepia, shades of nostalgia, with a few brush strokes of regret.  As Jon, Sarah and I walked through, we could see why houses need to be lived in.  Leaks have developed, things have fallen a little into disrepair.  This old house needs to be lived in again, and unfortunately it might not be someone from the family.  There is so much work that needs to be done inside, it is really dated in many places, but there are some nice parts as well.  The original house was built in 1848!  The year Wisconsin became a state- it is pretty cool when you think of it in historic terms.  There are huge timbers inside the walls, its infrastructure is sound.  It just needs to be battened down and prettied up.  It SHOULD be restored to it's original victorian splendor.

I was emotionally saying goodbye to many things- childhood (but that'll never go away completely!), my parents, my old home.  I don't know if the transition will be totally complete until the house belongs to someone else, but I know that the next trip won't smack me between the eyes like this one did.....

So many transitions but so important to life.  Find your joy even through your tears.