Ah.......summer vacation

I feel slightly bad about doing this to all you non-teachers but......

 RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU ARE FILLED WITH BLISS THIS MORNING!!!  **HAND RAISED**  **WAVING HAND AROUND**  ** OBNOXIOUS "MEMEMEMEMEMEME" SHOUTING**

Ok, I am done now.  :)

So, what to do, what to do??  I will be heading out on the bike soon, because of the afternoon chance of rain and then prepping my house for being gone for a few days. I am looking forward to this, let me tell you.  I have had enough of the suffering of my odd internal brain workings, and I am ready to get ON with it already.  First up is a nice visit with the sister and then a visit south.  YAY!

Yesterday was a hard day for me.  I felt really bad all day, as evidenced by a recent post or two.  But the Mad-Art teacher can NOT stand to be swept up with melancholy and feelings of despair very long.  I just can't.  I have officially shaken it off and will go on with life.  I feel like I have had a huge load lifted off my shoulders this morning.  And I will not be taking it back on anytime soon.

I just saw the blaze of orange the tells me a poppy bloomed overnight and I have some iris that have also blossomed and a few other mostly purple flowers that are doing their thing out there.  I need to do a little weeding in between the raindrops as well.  I know that the sun is going to be shining a good deal of the day, and I look forward to being out in it.  Not going to let a little threat of rain keep this Sunshine girl down.

Or let it keep me from being a joygiver once again.

What do YOU want to do, Debi?

What do you want to do now?  

You have spent the last 9 months doing what you need to do.  You spent the day yesterday doing what was urgently called for - to allow your  brain to change gears, though that hasn't really happened yet.  What is it you want to do with your afternoon/day/summer/life?

You have made reservations to go see the mountains and fly in a plane.  You have made arrangements for a dear friend to come and visit.  You have allowed your children and spouse to do what they need to do and worry about whether everything in their world is right and good or at least tolerable.  What do you want to do now?

It is too windy to kayak and probably bike, so what is the next choice?  Playing word with friends seems like a wasteful thing to do on a sunny afternoon, so should you really?  Weeding the flower garden would accomplish something, but is that the most important thing in the world?

Walking seems like a good idea, but your phone needs to charge up.  Music is necessary because you don't necessarily want to be alone with the thoughts in your head. That is a bit too much to deal with today.....

You could bake or clean or straighten, but just who are you doing that for?  Is this the way to spend your second day of summer vacation?  Are you entitled to another day of enjoyment or should you just get to work and stop being so damn self indulgent?  Apparently you have moments of believing that you have the right to do what you want and not necessarily what you should be doing. And who is this person who determines what should be done?  Certainly not Debi.  Because she just doesn't want to be alone and doing what she is supposed to.  She has done that all her life.  She is tired of it today.

What is going to fill your afternoon, and will it fill the need you have today?  Will it give your brain a way to relax, so maybe at some point in your life you can sleep again?  Will it make you finally feel good enough for all the amazing things that are and might be happening?  I hope so, because I think you need it.  Because you look so damn tired.

And all you really want is to find some peace along with your joy.

Filling a need

Rocks overlooking the lake

Ah yes summer.....

Driving onto The Madeline!

Finally, I have gotten into summer mode and that happened at some point in the morning on Saturday.  Oh wait!  I know EXACTLY when that was.  It happened when we drove onto the ferry and it pulled away from the dock on our way to Madeline Island.....

Transformation to summer mode is occurring right HERE

Our favorite ferry- the Madeline

But I am jumping ahead here.  The whole transformation actually began when we got up to Coco's North in Washburn and we settled in with some excellent coffee (well, two of us did) and an even more excellent breakfast.  Coco's breakfasts are top notch, as are their lunches..... and late afternoon sandwiches from the deli with yummy bakery- not that we know anything about that.  

Veggie frittata and fresh fruit

On this particular trip was the weekend of both the Bayfield in Bloom garden tours AND the free State Park passes.  So we partook in both of those.  We only went to one garden that included a pond and a spectacular view of the Lake.  It was fun to see, but we didn't want to spend to much time on the mainland..... AND the Mad-English teacher is not a big garden aficionado.  

And yes, btw, we DID get to the Big Water Coffee Shop because it would literally be a crime not to stop there.

Part of the gardens at the Collins residence north of Bayfield.

We were informed as we purchased tickets for the ferry that the Madeline Island Ferry Line was picking up the return tickets for all folks who went to visit the Big Bay State Park this weekend, so what a deal!  We gladly went to visit that park and I have some spectacular photos to  prove it.  But first we hit up the Big Bay Town Park and walked on the beach.  The water was pretty cold as you can imagine, and it was chilly enough that warranted keeping one's hoodie on during the entire trip, but it just didn't matter.  A zipped up sweatshirt, rolled up capris pants and bare/sandaled feet made total sense during this sojourn on the island.   And we saw lots of doggies to pet and say hello to as well! 

Warming up my feeties- I ended up carrying these most of the way.

Big Bay Town park

The next step was to go get our return tickets to Bayfield and explore the totally different landscape of the Big Bay State Park.  The rock outcroppings are spectacular!  So many scenic vistas, so many scary high rocks to climb on, or avoid, or hold your breath and do it anyway.

As you maybe can see by the map, the Big Bay State Park is to the south of the Town Park, but it is all connected.  We have not yet walked all the way from the Town to the State Park, but that will be happening at some point.  Too many things to do in one day to fully explore what we need to!

This is roughly the same shot as above

The scenery is just spectacular, isn't it?  I threw in one of the icy pix that I took when I was up there earlier in the year.

Our day ended on the upper deck of the Bayfield Inn, looking out over the Lake, drinking a tasty Margarita and having a few nachos....  and since we did not have lunch, we did stop by Coco's on the way through for a nice little sweet treat to top off the trip.  Fortunately, one of us does not partake in tequila libations, so we had a great ride home.

Filling our needs was pretty important yesterday.  We needed to place a punctuation mark on this school year- we needed to have a little finality.  We also needed to see the positive and good for the coming months and share in new adventures and have more laughs. There were so many tweetable moments on this trip, yet again, and mostly because of the lack of "bars" in the far north, they went unsaid. But they will be in our memories!

Coffee was consumed and purchased for later use, Coco's ambience was soaked in, the Ferry was like a home-coming. Madeline Island and Bayfield is an entirely different state of mind, and is the place we go to when we just can't play adult any more. 

Madeline Island Ferry buddies

Looking out at the docks 

We were doing a little secret picture taking of each other, which is a hoot.  The Mad-Science teacher thinks it is funny when the English guy and I are madly texting when we get some bars in random places.  She hasn't posted that photo yet, but that is only a matter of time.  :)

It was a long way down!

I think this man is spying on me!

Puppies are everywhere!

Rare Art teacher sighting on the cliffs

The biggest need we had to fill was the need to be over the sad feelings.  On to our summer adventures where ever they lead us and whoever we will spend them with.  And you can be sure some of our summer adventures will continue in our happy place- in the farthest reaches of Northern Wisconsin with some of the best friends I will ever have.

And we will all find more of our joy!

Clinging to things- not a lot to hold on to

We headed to Madeline Island today!  We went to both Big Bay Town and State parks!  I am proud to say that I am getting more comfortable with climbing around on the rocks and off roading on the other side of the fences. I still get a little uneasy about the whole thing but hey! It's progress.

This is part of a very fun Saturday- first day of summer vacation!!

The edges are far closer to me than it appears.  Lol

Loved being on the lake again

So I will post more tomorrow after I do some photo editing.  I am sort of tired tonight....

Hope all y'all found some joy today!  

Let the summer begin

I am so ready for some joy today, let me tell you people.  I was right, yesterday was pretty sad, and there were parts that were downright brutal.  But I made it through.  And it only took some marathon texting sessions, a 10 mile bike ride, sitting like a zombie on the couch for  an hour and a much needed phone call with a far away friend who will be coming to see me in exactly. 1. month. ( YES!) for me to finally ditch the heaviness in my heart. Sort of.  Oh and the MA who was in the right place at the right time when I got home.  AND we put together my car roof rack and kayak carrier and soon I will be hauling my kayak where ever the wind would like to blow me.  

So fast forward to last night and me trying to sleep, which was ridiculous.  I was so sleepy and I stayed up a little later because of said phone call and you would THINK that I would have fallen right to sleep.  What is it going to take to get over this little insomnia spell I have been having lately?? 

I realize now how this change in my work and eventually, personal life, has been affecting me for the last month. I had been dreading the day and this dread has manifested itself in some specific ways.  I have been unable to sleep well,   been a bit jumpy, definitely worried about every flipping aspect of my life, paranoid that people don't like me (I am not even kidding), and basically have had every ounce of confidence leak out of my body. I have been feeling like I am not good enough for anyone and definitely have let the emotions of the students at school get the best of me.  I have momentarily lost my trust in the world and all things joyful.  This is not a good place for the Mad Art Teacher to be.  There is a lot more on this topic to be discussed, but I will defer for now. 

Anyway, I can feel the excitement of summer and my imminent trip to Bayfield rising inside me.  This is a trip that I am looking forward to so much in order to kick start my anticipation of the next 3 months.  I feel gyped out of my last day of school rush.   I need to feel the thrill of not having to get up at any specific time and being able to walk in the morning, and having time to decompress and recharge.  Not having that rush of happiness and adrenaline yesterday was just not right.  But I got my rooms cleaned and my grades posted and I do not have to go to school again until August.  Except someone needs to remind me to go water that Norfolk pine in my room.  I don't think the poor dear got watered at all last summer.  That is one tough tree.

Coming up on my agenda is a lovely trip to see the seester and I have my sights on that already.  In the meantime I am going to try and get a little gardening done, and some things straightened up in parts of my house and maybe some plain old goofing off.  Because I need it!  OH and of course a kayak and/or a bike ride.  My elbow can rest next week. 

Anyway, since the Mad-Science teacher will be here in 30 minutes or so and the MA made his best case for his scrambled eggs before I leave today, I better get this posted.  You can bet you will see some photos on FaceBook in a while, because that is what this day is all about.  I intend to find all the joy that I can!  Have a lovely joy-filled day to you too.  

Last day/first day

Today is the last official student day of school.  We actually have only a half day with the kids and then we have the rest of the day to clean/grade/finish-up our school year.  I can hardly believe that another year is over.  I have mixed emotions over it all.

It has been an interesting year for me, to say the least.  Of course last summer (and since I was at a class to renew my teaching license, I consider this part of the school year) I came down with Lymes- put me out of commission for a few weeks to say the least.  And then there was the whole elbow incident.....  so boo to those things.  I have taught with actually great success a whole PILE of new freshmen- and much to their and my surprise, many many of them have  truly excelled in art.  Or at least can see their own potential.  I have hit my sweet spot in teaching painting, too.  I have fine-tuned the process and steps and practice the kids have to do to learn to paint realistically. (Not that painting realistically is the ultimate end all, but that is a whole 'nuther post)  It takes a whole lot of practice painting, let me tell you.  Lots of color theory, lots and lots of reteaching.  But what a satisfying year it has been for that.

My elementary kids did well as a group, too.  I will say that it is a challenge to have up to 28 little kids in one art class.  The management aspect of it is very difficult at times.  That is a lot of 4th and 5th grade bodies to be in one classroom.  I have a class and a half because of my schedule restraints.  And of course the elbow thing really messed with my usual curriculum.  But that is the way that goes, we did fine.

There will be a lot of changes in our staff next year.  My dear friend Ginny L. is retiring and there are only 2 5th grade teachers remaining from the original elementary staff I began teaching with 19 years ago. THAT is really weird.  There are not too many High School Teachers remaining on staff from 19 years ago, either.  The staffing changes at the High School have been numerous lately.  One of those changes, as many of you know, and I won't discuss it here on my blog - YET- is very traumatic for me, and indeed everyone at the high school.  The unfairness of this- the incredible ignorance involved in this decision - is breathtaking.  And it is going to make my last day of school today brutally sad at times.

BUT after all that, tomorrow is the first day of summer vacation and that will be NICE.  We **may** have a trip to Bayfield in the works, complete with a ride on the ferry and a little lunch on a beach, and coffee and Coco's and other things that we don't even know about quite yet.  The weather is looking cautiously optimistic, though cool, and I am ready.  Next week I am going to go and relax at my seester's house and eventually make my way down to Janesville for a little Ella time.  I am hoping NO ONE will be tired of me after 5 days or so.  :)  

The first day of summer is full of potential!  So many little trips to take and things to do.  And I do have to occasionally stay home and garden and work on some art and generally spend quality time on a bike and in a kayak.  This is not gearing up to be a real warm summer so far, but there is hope that I will see temperatures rising into the 80's at some point here.  Not that we want to be sweltering or anything. Lol

Anyway, I need to wrap this up and get myself ready for this last day/first day.  I am sort of dragging my feet because of the finality that this day has.  However, I won't get to Bayfield tomorrow and begin my first day,  if I don't begin the last day.

I will do my best today to be the best joy-giver that I can be.  I hope you all have a spectacular day.  MWAH!

More time on the water

I have gotten some nice time on the water on those random days when it has not been raining like crazy!  I spent a good portion of Sunday afternoon on the Flambeau, where the Mad-English teacher and I paddled up to the Pixley dam and then down to DeMars Bridge.   A nice 6 mile paddle!  

We really had a good time goofing off

The two of us are really novice kayakers and we channel our inner Jen when we go.  We have a fabulous friend who is a seasoned veteran in all things kayak, and her relative calm and relaxation while traveling on bodies of water is a thing of beauty.  We are both in awe of her ability to paddle while her feet are hanging off the sides or propped up in front of her.  We are practicing this on occasion, but generally our feet are firmly braced inside.

Water and photography break, moored next to a stump

I am feeling really good about my increasing skill level.  Each time I go out, I feel remarkably better at the kayak thing than the time before.  If I didn't have to go to work, I would have loaded my kayak and headed down to the lake for an early morning photo session.  This is coming people.  I have found something that speaks to my soul.  Now to get a clear dry bag for the big camera! And a better water bottle holder and of course the car rack so I don't have to depend on the MA's truck.  Amazon is going to be visited and orders will be placed!  Oh, the kayak accessories will be purchased from The Crazy Loon, since I get a discount and I really like that place!  :)

An earlier trip down to the mouth of Smith Creek

Lovely day until the clouds rolled in- then I had to put my sweatshirt on

This IS the life!! 

Meanwhile, I am about to embark on the last week of school.  And I am needing to begin that process, so I need to post this and get myself going.  And along the way this week I will be thinking about being out on the water and finding my joy.