Early morning kayak and the reason for having one....

I got up early this morning, even though I really wanted to go back to sleep.  I had "planned" to do this yesterday, but I didn't.  Somehow actually loading the kayak into the vehicle makes it more likely to happen.  The weather was right for some mist rising off the lake and river- the water is warm and the night air was cold- perfect for a smoky look with the clouds.... the synergy was in place.

I got up and filled a travel mug with coffee, a perfect idea if I do say so myself.  I was half bundled in a hoodie as the temperature was 45!  Yikes!  So with flip flops and a hoodie, coffee and a camera, off I went in search in of some lovely sunrise photos.

This kayak has been a thing of wonder.  I have spent so many wonderful hours in it, out by myself and out with friends as well.  It has been a vehicle in which to carry my camera and a device in which I have found my peace.  I have found that the freedom of being alone in a kayak has been an experience that I find to be unequaled.  I love the altered point of view that I have, encountering things that I never would have otherwise...

I use my summer to recharge my batteries for the next school year, and this summer I have discovered that I need to do something else.  There are lingering effects and lessons from the breaking of the elbows and also from the Lymes that I had last summer.  The effects of course are minor physical limitations that I am in the process of overcoming.  The lesson centers directly around the idea of living in the now and living how you want.

I love to travel, I needed to get on an airplane, I wanted to be able to go on a mini-vacation when I needed one, and  this summer has been one of truly making the most of my time.  I had a week here and there of decompress and reboot.  Some days where I did almost nothing other than what I had to. I did what I NEEDED, not what I should have done, virtually every day.

Having the kayak and to a bit of a lesser extent, my bike, has given me the freedom to recover slowly from my arm injury and to become stronger in many ways.  I felt brave going into the water the first couple times all by myself.  Then heading into the river channel and going against the waves and the current.  Heading out to bike 5 then 10 and even 30 miles!  Going to Lake Superior.  Overcoming mental roadblocks that needed to be overcome.   And all the while finding out new things about myself that I would not have guessed.

This was a summer full of joy, of adventure, of travel and of discovery.  It was a summer of passion- I have found some things that I have never would have guessed would make me tick and respond and make me thrilled and excited to get up in the morning.  I am hoping to use the energy I drew from my experiences and from the universe in general, to get me through this upcoming school year in a positive way.  And I hope I can pass that energy onto the people in my life.

And I have some really awesome photos as a bonus!

A pause in the action

Ahhh yes, summer is rolling on and I for one am not one of those people who are saying- "Oh, the summer is going so fast!".  This is the first ever summer I think I have not bought into this somewhat negative outlook on this lovely season.

This pause in my summery, exuberant postings is brought to you by the letter I for introspection.   I have had an extraordinary summer, I will say.  I've had my moments of reboot and shut down, but when I look back at the past several weeks I see nothing but full days of good things.

I've traveled a bit, I've seen the grandkiddos,  I've had a week with a very, very awesome friend, I've had great experiences kayaking and biking and walking and Bayfielding..... Oh yes it has been good.

Today, I am a very sore art teacher- well in a couple ways- I had my teeth poked and prodded by my new dental hygienist today, and weirdly it was a very entertaining visit, as i had NO IDEA how high tech dental offices are now.  LOL.  Yeah, that's another story, but not now.  Yesterday, I went back to the gym, such as it is, and began working out again.

In the past few weeks I have been feeling very well, as far as my elbows go, and I had a good discussion with my life coach about many things related to the state of affairs I am in right now.  I think I was afraid to start lifting again, afraid to begin the journey that I loved traveling on before.  And it just felt like the right time and thing to do.  So I spent 35 minutes working out, and it felt fantastic.  I laid under that bar on the bench press and I felt like I was home.  Now granted I was only lifting the freaking bar, but it felt amazing.  So between that and some Romanian deads, shoulder presses and arm and back things, I managed to make myself nice and sore today.  It is awesome.

I am sort of freaked out by the amount of work it will take to get myself anywhere near where I was before.  But at least I am not starting back at square one.  I don't have to start with the lightest weights on the rack, I don't have to learn the proper techniques and I don't have discover all over that indeed I am an athletic person who is really good at lifting weights.  This is a confidence that I immediately recognized as I was laying under that bar and looking up at my hand placement, as I braced my legs like I was going to push up heavy weight, as I slid my shoulders into the (duct taped, lol) bench to  brace myself for the lift.  I acted like I was lifting what I used to, and it was good.  My arm is mostly straight now and I felt in-balance and confident.  This sounds weird, but to wake up this morning and feel the stiffness and soreness of broken down muscle tissue was strangely comforting and uplifting.  It made me feel more like me.

So though I am doing my kayaking and biking and walking every week and I LOVE IT,  I love more the thought of getting back into something that gave me confidence in myself like I never in my life had before.  The Lyme's disease I had last summer gave me a temporary set back, my wonderful little gym closing sent me into a tailspin and of course the elbow incident.  I have decided, even though it is entertaining to tell people about that particular accident, that I can't define my life anymore by that one moment in time and the ramifications of it.  It was in it's own way, something that made more of an impact on my life than many events that came before it, but I just can't continue to let it rule my thinking.

It forced me into a state of quiet, it allowed my arms and hands to recover from some serious over training, it allowed me to discover that I can stay healthy without killing myself in a gym, it gave me some extra time that I didn't know I needed.  I also found out how many amazing people I have in my life, and it kindled and changed a few relationships in ways that I never would have guessed.  All so much for the good, no matter how much I agonize  (and smile usually) over some of the crazy things that have happened.  mmmm.

During this time, I recognized my need to have a kayak so I am not dependent on others to get myself out into water, which is something I love more than I can express.  It has challenged me to bike whenever I can, in spite of the pressure it puts on my elbows.  The more I bike, the better my elbows feel, which is sort of counterintuitive, but true.  I made plans for taking a mini vacation to Colorado because I understand how a person needs to be sure to do those things you are dreaming about, because you just never know....  So ** BAM ** mini vacation was just what I needed, I am in love with flying and with the mountains and cannot wait to get back to both.

So, after this particular post, my pause in the action that is usually birthday month, I will resume my Denver posts, and maybe a friend visit post, and possibly some other picture posts.... my usual fare. This morning, I was inspired to begin this, as I woke up feeling my muscles thanking me for beginning again.  Then I got several early morning texts and one early morning phone call from my friend who I am going to finally get to see again!  And kayak with!  YES!!  And I smiled thinking about how lucky I am to have such good friends, people who like me.  People who want to talk to me via text and phone.  And spend time with me.  Lol and yeah, there is the MA and my kiddos.  haha. I am so fortunate to be who I am right now.  And really fortunate to be able to do so many of the things I really want to, and I am hoping to continue on this journey doing the exciting, slightly scary, challenging and joyful trip that I am taking.  Funny that it took a couple of broken elbows for me to truly understand what I really want and need and the people that are going on this journey with me.  It is quite the ride.  xo

Recovery time

Those of you who follow me on Facebook know that I had a glorious time in Denver.  I loved flying, I took lots of pictures, I met up with a good friend and met a virtual friend, I climbed every mountain..... oh wait, maybe not.  But I climbed on a couple of them, and hit up a museum and generally had the best time.  We CRAMMED every minute full!!  I would not have it any other way!

I have not even opened my cameras yet.  I have a bunch of pictures in there that need some editing, but I do have my phone photos.  They are pretty good, so for this post those are the ones that will do for an overview.

The last couple days have been recovery days.  On Friday, we put in a full day of stuff, from hiking and doing stairs at Red Rocks (oh my goodness my legs were tired by then) to walking downtown Denver to walking and sitting at the airport. Our flight was delayed about 50 min. so we got into Minneapolis about 8:30 and home about 1.  Naturally falling asleep was an issue after all that, and I was up until after 2:30.  So, I was sort of a happy zombie all day on Saturday.

Clouds during the flight back, I think over South Dakota

I really was happy in spite of being sore and tired and groggy.  I was awash in the glow of a fantastic trip that had almost no down side to it, but I barely knew what to do with myself.  Of course the MA was very happy to see me and I made him sit down and look at all my FaceBook pictures.  Between mowing and fixing his mother's garage and attempting to get into the garden with all the rain, he wasn't home much apparently.  Well, I suppose he was working all week as well!  I did manage to get all my things put away, and some laundry done..... sheets changed, towels and table cloth all replaced.... dishes.....  all low stress chores.  I was incapable as a rule of even finishing a sentence.  

Red Rocks hiking trail

Sunday morning I slept in to almost 8!!  Hold the phone and tell Grandma to sit DOWN!  That doesn't happen very often.  I slept so hard my neck hurt from not moving more than twice during the night.  Today I feel much more rested and normal.  I realized ON VACATION that I forgot to do my requisitions (aka: ordering supplies and paint, lots of paint)  for work, so guess what I did yesterday!?!  Bleh.  And I got my elementary orders virtually done when I realized that I had used a 2013 catalogue!!!!!  AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.  Oh well, so I had to redo mostly the prices for the entire order, and actually had to change a few catalogue numbers.  Major suckage there.  So 5 hours later I was done with that.

Falls at Berthaud Pass 

So, today I am sort of a girl without a plan.  And that is just fine.  I will do a little cleaning upstairs for my company coming next week and I will do some weeding as well.  Beyond that I have photo editing to do.  And in light of the fantastic meal I had at Ali Baba, I want to make some tabuleh today, if I get the energy to drive to the store to get parsley.  

Panorama Point, near Reverend's Ridge

Enjoy these few photos and know that there are more to come.  I will also be sending one or two to Channel 9 if you are one of those folks who watch for my pictures on tv.  :)  That is such a weird thing to say, but its true.

Happy Hikers

Have a lovely Monday, be a joy giver and hopefully you will enjoy the photos here and those to come.  

Lookout Mountain

Panorama Point

Crop circles!  :)

Chitty-Chatty

I have noticed that I am very talkative on this blog lately.  Interesting how an unexpected turn of events can change your patterns in life.  This might be a Captain Obvious statement, but oh well.  It was something that struck me this morning.

I found myself awake a lot last night, which isn't all that unusual, but then wide awake at 4:15 was sort of a pain.  I dozed off and on and just decided to get going a little before 5.....  Now if I actually went into work early and got something accomplished that would probably be pretty awesome, but I am sort of addicted to my coffee and quiet time here.

Tax season is done today and my life after school will take another wild swing.  Instead of having literally hours to myself, the MA will be lurking about the area.  He has put in some crazy long hours this tax season, good grief. You'd think after this many years it wouldn't be quite so much, but it was.  I don't do real well alone so much, however, it'll be an adjustment.  Lol, this happens every year- AT LEAST it will be nice outside and he can go and rake and get ready for the bees and all the things that MA likes to do.  The last 2 years that didn't really happen, as there was still snow on the ground.  There will be one happy accountant here.

Speaking of beeeeeez, they are coming to Rhinelander on Friday, so we will pick the little buggers up on Saturday.  It'll be nice to have the kids back!  We will probably be making a sugar run in the next few weeks- early May I should imagine.  Sugar run= Sam's Club for massive bags o' sugar.  That will coincide with some quality gramma time with both of my little ones.

Last thing to update: I am getting back into fighting shape so to speak.  My aerobic fitness is well on its way to being back to normal- and I am working on my weight training again.  It is all really light weight and not a lot of reps, but I am working on it.  I am, surprisingly, able to do full pushups!!  I did 10 last night. Frankly, I am shocked.  I feel weak and pathetic, but apparently there is some muscle tone still lurking about the area.  A few weeks and I will get back to the gym again.  Don't worry all of you, I promise I will take it slow, if you promise I'll get my strength back!


That is kind of all I have for now.  I need to think about lunch and what to wear and all that other morning routine things.

Hope all of you find a big ole bunch of joy in your day today!  Pass it around!

FINALLY!

There is a lot of stuff going on around here right now, and some of it is going to affect my life in an EXTRAORDINARILY NEGATIVE way.  But I am not going into that, because I can't think about it quite yet.

Blood pressure took a dive and a giant smile of relief- first pic on the new phone!  NO SPECK

Besides that, plus the fact that it snowed- again- last night, there are a couple of good things that are going on, and I will share a few!

The first, FINALLY, is the fact that I got myself a new phone!  My old phone would have been perfectly fine for a long time yet except for 2 major things.  First and mostly, the off button was not reliably working anymore and (in reality, this was a bigger thing) the stinking speck on my camera lens- under the glass.  You know, the one where people kept thinking I took a pic of an eagle???  And then there was the blurry spot where I tried to rub said speck off the outside when indeed it was under the glass??  oy.  You may not have noticed it because usually I edited it out, but not always.  And let's be serious here, you KNOW how twitchy that damn spot has made me, even if I never really mentioned it.  I am SO excited.  As for the rest of the phone, it is fine.  I do like me my iPhones!!  There are some fun new things in this IOS and the phone is a little bigger.

I would like to give a HUGE shout out and thanks to my friends Cathy and Ed for letting me use their zippy internet and being in the room with me to encourage deep relaxing breaths when the last little bit of a zillion different updates and downloads took their sweet time finishing.  As much as I am a techie girl, I love doing so many things, this whole phone thing gave me a lot of anxious moments.  Anyway, it was so kind of them and I appreciate it so very very much!

NEXT, I went to the Orthopedic dr one last time (I assume) yesterday.  I had some questions about my arm, which is so much better, and does get better every day.  There are some weird little things that go on and I had concerns about things, and I got more xrays and had many questions answered. AND people--------I GET TO START WEIGHT LIFTING AGAIN!!!!!


 **pause for happy dancing***


Of course I have been admonished to not over do it right away (wut? wait? you mean ME??) and I will not.  I will workout here before heading back to the Ghetto gym- I can use my lighter weights here.

Since it is heading towards time for me to get myself going, I better be done with these little bits of good news.  I am focusing on the positive for now!  And I am hoping for the best with everything else.

Tired....

I don't post late night very often, but I haven't been getting in my quiet time in the morning lately, so this is the best I can do for now.

Lola was sad this morning

I'm tired and you know what??  I think I am losing my voice.  This is not going to be good.

I talked ALL day long:  I had a new presentation to give to all three hours of High School art, lasting each at least 30 minutes.  Then I had to circulate and answer questions, and all that good stuff. After a quick lunch,  my first graders had a tell and do lesson, where I told them what to draw and paint and then they do it.  Color mixing at it's first grade finest!  Which means I talked the whole hour, then the 4th and 5th graders had a 2 part lesson today- which of course means Mrs. Oswald  talked at least 2/3 of the day.  Add in a little nasal involvement and you have the recipe for some soft and deep vocal ranges.  Now if I had stopped talking right away upon discovering that I was getting hoarse, things might have had a different outcome. But that couldn't happen.

I see you! The origami eye project the 4th and 5th grade did today

So, everyone in the morning should be fairly ready to work, and I will only have kindergarten and 2nd grade to concern myself with.

IN other news, I have one more Dr. appointment for my arm on Thursday.  It is a little concerning to me because of the fatigue and crackling that is happening in my elbowage area.  When I was folding my nifty little origami eyes that the 4th and 5th graders have/will be making, there was all sort of weird things happening in there.  Fortunately, the pain has subsided, but there is definite lack of normalcy.

We had snow here the other day, which I sort of refuse to acknowledge, other than the fact it is good that we are getting a little precip.  Don't need any fires now, do we?

So yeah, that is all I have for now.  Now that I have been doing more blog posts, it feels like I should update more often!

And so here it is!  :)

Hope you all can find your joy tomorrow, after a really good nights' sleep!  ;)

Dear Life,

Dear Life That is Supposed to Be Mine,

I am just writing to tentatively find out if it is ok for me to go ahead and pretend that I have some say over what happens to you.  Do you suppose you could find it in your heart to let me go ahead and make some plans to, oh, I don't know, teach my 4th quarter here like I usually would??  Um,  maybe be able to do my favorite activities that I haven't been able to since January? I know it is a lot to ask, but I promise I will proceed slowly.

Now, for instance last night, I was able to sleep without advanced use of chemicals or anything! THANK YOU!! Breathing through ones nose is something you shouldn't really take for granted, and I swear I never will again. Also, after using this week to clean and plan and catch up, I think it will be fabulous to be able to throw on the potter's wheel again.  I didn't think that was such a big deal, but wow it is.  I am a little worried about being able to center the clay, but I will muddle through.

I have been super duper careful on the walks I have begun to take since all that ice has gone. I understand now that my accident has been instructive to others, as I have had a NUMBER of people tell me that they quit walking outside during that icy time period. Gee, I am so glad to have saved the radial heads of so many.  Why just yesterday, when I walked down to the lake I gave the ice puddles SUCH a wide berth that someone watching me would have thought I was a lunatic. But we all  know that isn't true, right Life???  RIGHT???

I managed to get through the play without having irritated any part of my arm, but I did get the message about over-extending one's self when you gave me that lovely virus!!  That was so special.  I really liked the part where I couldn't eat anything sweet because it hurt my tummy.  That was great- oh and the hot and cold fever thing.  Wow.  Point taken. So, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to try improving my general health again.  K K??

I hope that this isn't asking too much, and I hope that I don't sound angry or bitter or irritated, because really this morning I am full of the most zen-like calm.  You know me, I am usually pretty nice and I just want to say that I think I get your point!!  Live in the moment, don't take ANYTHING for granted, and always be thankful for the simplest things, because you just never know!

Soon I will get dressed and be on my way, and I will get my plans together for the last part of the school year.  I will enjoy my students, put up an art show,  get my exercise, laugh with my friends, Bayfield like a champ, and generally live life with some gusto!  (Which by the way, I thought I was doing!!!)  I am thinking that this will be ok with you!  Right??

So, now that we are clear on this, I will just pretend that I am somehow in charge again.  If that is ok with you! And yes, you know darn well that I will be pushing the envelope and doing too much, because that is what Debi, the Mad-Artteacher is all about.  The person who only recently learned that doing the things that terrify her are some of the best moments in life, so she has some catching up to do!  If you find that unacceptable, please notify me in writing.  Those action plans of yours are just a bridge too far- NOT that I am complaining or anything!!  :)

Happy Monday, Life, and I promise we will be looking for all the joy that we can endure!

Love,
Debi

Say WHAT???

I don't know what forces of the universe have decided to interfere in my life lately, but I am not really amused.  Seriously, I have shit to do and I have no time for this "take it easy stuff."

Ok, so I was actually delighted to go to the Dr. yesterday with X-rays first, because I thought I would pretty much get the all clear....  the go ahead and lift and pull and push all the stuff that you want, because you are as good as you are going to get message.  Rock on with your bad-ass self.  (Yes, I say that kind of thing to myself, and if you don't, you should).  I went to X-ray, had a nice chat with my former student Val- who, btw, was my technician 6 weeks ago - and headed over to Orthopedics.  I must interject that melting snow and 56 degree temps had my spirit soaring!  SO NICE OUT!!

Anyway, I got in immediately to see  my PA and we had a great time chatting about all sorts of things before we took a look at the X-rays.  She is impressed with my recovery, and I will be getting through the range of motion issue through more stretching things, etc, and all that sort of thing.  I got to look with her at the films on the computer, and the left arm had a nice white line where everything was healing nicely.  My more troublesome right arm was a different story.  This is hard to describe, but the little piece where the fracture had been intact- a little triangle between the crack and the outside edge of the radial head- had some time in the last 4 weeks slipped down a smidge.  The sucker had moved!  WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING HELL?????

You could see at the top where there cells are regrowing and beginning to smooth over the little dip and it is over all ok, but you know what she said of course.  You have to "take it easy".  No, you should probably not lift 50 lb boxes of clay, or 50 lb feed bags and if you feel pain or a lot of pressure, you shouldn't do that either.  Until Easterish.  I don't know if anyone is listening to me, but I have a play to put on and it involves doing things.  I am so annoyed.

I, of course, started WRACKING my brain trying to think of what I could possibly have done??  I swear that I was being careful.  The Mad-Science teacher sheepishly interjected that I probably have not been taking it as easy as I thought I was.  Of course she's probably right, but I felt like I WAS taking it easy.  It was also pointed out to me that sometimes that is just the way life goes...  ugh.  sigh. It isn't how I had planned for it to go though...

I got through scenery painting with fairly good humor, got tons done, painted with my left hand a lot because, guess what!!  My previously not sore right arm decided that those x-rays were one thing too much for the day, and btw, Debi, now that you mention it, I think I am going to hurt and be stiff, you know because you managed to mess up this fairly simple injury, so go take an Aleve and get over yourself---  that arm needs a stern talking to for being so lippy.  When I got home I dissolved into a heap for a while and thought through my next 3 weeks.  Good thing I have amazing friends who virtually patted my head and dried my tears and told me I'll be fine.  HAHA and eventually the MA showed up, and was somewhat reassuring as well! Ah, tax season.

So this morning, I am feeling pretty optimistic and happy again, which I knew I would be.  I just can't be bothered to wallow in self pity, because it drives me insane.  And I have shit to do, so I need to focus.  I can't let this alter my drive to get somewhere near caught up on a few   on alllll the things.  So the next two days are  dedicated to get the scenery FINISHED for the play.  Friday, I get to have my kids here for the weekend, then Monday begins with a Charter meeting early and play practice, with full dress and makeup until late.  And on it goes.

What lesson is this universe trying to teach?  I know what it is, I just don't have time for it.  And there in lies the answer.  If you don't think you have the time, you might just be forced to alter your path a little.  Ask for a little more help for just a little while longer.  Even if it makes you want to bang your head against the nearest wall.  I am going to be digging deep for my zen, for my center, for my inner peace.

And always always, where ever I can get it, seek out my joy.

6 weeks

6 weeks ago, I was innocently thinking that I would be starting a new semester the next day- new kids, new schedule, new start.  6 weeks ago I had plans, big plans, for Booking Across the Bay, snow shoeing, walking, lifting at the ghetto gym,  keeping ahead of my school work, since I, at that time, was sort of caught up.  6 weeks ago, I planned my walk for early afternoon, so I could putz around in the house and generally set myself up for the week.  I, as I recall, had a ton of food cooked, house was cleaned up, laundry was done and I was getting exercise in spite of the ridiculous cold and ice, yes, it was looking good baby.

Sometime early this afternoon will be the 6 week mark.  I don't know the exact time, but if I cared to scroll back a good deal through my texts, I know I fired off a string of decidedly nasty expletives to a friend of mine concerning what I had done.  And that was after I had "walked it off" for a mile.  Good grief.  Looking back, I perhaps should have taken the ride home from the nice man in the truck.  But in reality, it wouldn't have really mattered.  I did no further harm to either my radial heads or my ankle.  No use second guessing yourself about things like that anyway.  You do the best you can with the information you have at the time.

Even though I felt fairly awake and lucid during this whole recovery, I really don't remember too much about that first week.  And parts of the second week.  Pain meds do that to me, but I wonder if the brain doesn't protect you from the stresses of healing in some way. What I do know is I have awesome and amazing friends who checked on me often and came to stay with me.  I know that the people in the ER and clinic were fantastic.  I know that I have a hubby who did more than he ever imagined he would ever be doing for me.  And he did it well!  I literally do not know what I would have done without him.  I have a seriously wonderful sister who came to be with me!!  I know that I am lucky it wasn't worse, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I still have some recovery to do.  That still bothers me a little, that whole- OH it could have been so much worse, you are lucky.  Really?  I know I discussed this before, but why do people want to diminish the facts, when I am having a hard enough time finding the legitimacy of my own injury??  Oh well- what evs.  I'll tell you, when Feb 14 came and that 10K came and went without me, I was not happy about anything.

6 weeks later, my previously sorer left arms is doing great.  It has fabulous range of motion and I barely notice it.  My right arm is a little more problematic- much more stiff.  Much less range of motion, even though I am working on it.  The things I do with that arm from beginning of the day to the end is undoubtedly the reason it is a little twitchy.  I need about a week of light duty.  But the play is almost here and that will not be happening.  I will be working on stage stuff from today through Thursday, frequently, and then I have a different workout!  My Ella Bella and her mom and dad are coming soon!  YAY!  Then it will be play week and I will talk to you after the 22nd.  Or you can find me in a heap back stage, somewhere behind my throne! Or maybe behind the ship!  :)  (Musical teaser alert)

So what is instructive about all this?  NEVER EVER think your life is going to go in the direction you expect.  And when it veers wildly, all you can do is pay attention to the things that are going on.  What is the universe trying to give you/tell you?  What is really important, what isn't and what things will surprise you?  2 plus weeks of time at home not being sick, but not being able, gives you a lot of time to understand messages that have been lurking about.  Or more accurately ignore them, and then have a total meltdown when no one is around and you think no one cares....  and then you can pull yourself together and see that nothing is as it seems.

It seems nothing is ever set in stone, you always have time to change your mind, you can shock the hell out of people by not taking the easy way out and always by doing things that you love.  For me, for my recovery- the musical was everything.  I had to do it, I had to be there, I had to be tougher than people thought.  I couldn't disappoint myself, my friend Mark or the kids by having 2 broken elbows.  And we will rock that play, performance after performance.

I walked on the ice yesterday- down by Smith Lake.  I almost didn't go.  I was afraid to walk on the snowy/slushy roads that had that possibility of ice.  I was worried I would fall.  I was afraid to try again.  But the warmth of the sun and the water on the pavement and call of the road was too strong to resist.  And I am not a quitter.  Seems really trite to be saying this, but you have no idea how afraid I was.  But once I got out and started walking the hills to the lake, hearing the birds, seeing the water and then finally walking on the ice, I was fine.  I was healing, I was again brave.  Even though  I literally had to force myself to walk out on that lake, I did walk on it.  The same one that will hold me in a canoe or kayak this summer. I know things change all the time, yet danger does not lurk around every corner and every step of the way.  I can feel safe again.  It was my symbolic Book Across the Bay, where I completed my mission, even if this event happened in a different form than the original.  Turning around and looking back, I saw how far I had come.   In just 6 weeks.  I smiled and took a picture, and headed home.

Have a joyful day.

Bags and Manicotti

To say I am tired this morning is one of those understatements that really you shouldn't bother with at all.  Like, "Dang, it is cold up here in northern Wisconsin" or "The weekend sure goes fast!". I woke up, looked in the mirror and thought of that saying (where it came from I have no idea) I have bags under my eyes down to my knees.  My week is catching up with me, guys.  I suddenly woke up at 5:40, which is almost an hour later than usual, and yet here I still sit and I decided to write a blog post??? You figure it out, I am not sure what is going on.

It has been a full week!  After my escapades of last weekend, I jumped with both feet into high octane art teaching and painting scenery until 6:30 at night.  My poor horse can't believe that I am feeding him at 7 pm, and he is really hungry with this stupid COLD weather.  Anyway, they are promising warmer days and nights, and I CAN'T WAIT!!!  I will be outside in the 40 degree temps- barefoot.  I am feeling that this year!!  Right after school, next Tuesday or Wednesday.  The thing I am feeling I believe is that proverbial spring fever- so much promise.

So yeah, the school musical scenery is making pretty good progress- We have begun everything that needs to be worked on. We have finished or almost finished a few things, and we will have a weekend workday in the hopes that we don't have to kill ourselves next week.  Who am I kidding, I am hoping not to kill myself next week, the kids all seem to be fine!  They are awesome!

School is going ok, I am beginning to catchup with my gradebook and projects- kind of, but my rooms are a wreck.  I have so much I need to do, and a lot involves lifting and climbing and I am not quite there yet.  But it is coming.  I have massive amounts of anxiety over this though, I have put off my clay units because of this and I am still revising lesson plans. Stupid elbows.

Speaking of that, my used-to-be worse elbow, the left smush, is way way better and it is my right arm that is still giving me issues.  But better than it was for sure!  It wakes me up every morning unhappy but seems to gain ground during the day.  The NSAIDS I am taking are surely taking a toll on my tummy, but I have cut those back dramatically.  I am deadly tired every night when I get home and I barely have the energy to change into my robe and make avocado toast for supper and collapse on the couch.  I have forgotten to do my stretching exercise now for a few days, so I better get that done asap!

SOOOOO GLAD for Friday!  So the Manicotti  reference??  I am fortunate enough to be having some brought to me for lunch today and I am SO EXCITED!!!!  Doesn't take much, let me tell you, but this will be sublime!

So, since I should go and prep myself for school, and make my breakfast and take my Aleve, because - arm- and get ready to go, I better close up here. (Wow, wasn't that a run-on sentence.)

So it is Daylight savings this weekend- I expect to be incoherent on Monday morning and probably the rest of the week as well, but that won't keep me from finding my joy......especially since one of my little joys is expected to arrive at my house next Friday!! YAY!

Be a joy giver people!!!

My gifts from the universe

This was going to be a whole different post- but things have rolled around in my mind this morning, fueled by excitement and a whole cup of coffee that was consumed in about 3 minutes!

I am headed to Bayfield today and I am so excited.  Excited by the trip, getting to my summer stomping grounds, driving the ice road (EEEEEEEEEEK) and the prospect of  normalcy. I do not want to say EVER TODAY- oh my arm hurts.  I plan to just do.  Do what I can and do what I want.  Be active, be outdoors, be free from my couch.  I can hardly wait.

So this brings me to gifts- there are a lot of them.  Did you know the universe gives you things at just the right time if you are open to it?  If you decide that you do not have to be what anyone or everyone thinks you should be and let most inner self be- amazing things happen.  This is what I am choosing to believe.

First gift is understanding how much I love to move and be outside.  While I am dying to get back to a gym, seriously I can hardly stand not going, I must be outside.  I am meant to be walking and hiking and snowshoeing and gardening and all the things that I have made part of my life- always or in the last few years.  I have put on some pounds from sitting around and making myself feel better with macaroni and cheese with chocolate for dessert- and guess what.  I'm fine with that.  I will undoubtedly take it off starting today when my activity level can start to improve.

Second gift, related to that last part,  ultimately if you are happy with yourself as a person, make peace with some demons from the past, come to terms with the fact that you are a kick-ass human whether you weigh 15 pounds more or less than last year- that weight JUST. DOESN'T. MATTER.  I have divested myself of blogs and pinterest boards and facebook pages that imply that I am not good because I do not look like ___________.  Fill in with whatever fucked up image that the media wants to insert.  UP THEIRS. I am not a project and I do not need fixing thank you very much.  People think (Lol, mostly my students) I am awesome just the way I am. People like me because I am a happy lunatic!  And I think its a lot of fun. Thank you universe for this lesson and the opportunities and situations that have surfaced because I was ready to have them. Health is everything and weight is beside the point.

Related, I have totally stopped with this crazy ass food obsession that everyone else seems to be so into  now.  Other than being vegetarian, which suits me perfectly- I realized when I was going through all this (I covered a lot of subjects with myself) that I have no desire to become carnivore in any way. I do not mind making meat for my family, even though I won't and never have actually touched it too much. Lol.  But all that clean this and gluten free that and rules and organic and blah blah blah- eat good food most of the time and don't think about that crap.  You should not spend 3/4 of your waking life thinking about food.  There is too much other stuff to do.  But  you know- I have chosen that path, you all can do what you want, because eyes on our own plates, man!

Next, I have to be vague about this because it is not my place to discuss it- but we really do need to practice compassion.  A person I know is going through something big that they are not willing to talk about. It is a complex situation.  I want to say something about karma, but I realize that really we do not know what path a person is walking down.  We do not know what is really going on inside them, and maybe the most difficult people in our lives need us to be understanding the most. Never saw that one coming.

So as I am ready to get up and get moving with camera equipment, yak trax, snow shoe poles, boots, scarves, mittens, and coffee money, I want to remember to truly be aware and in the moment here.  There is no place for food obsession or judging other people harshly or other negative crap that comes my way.  Well except for people who drive slow and they cannot be tolerated!  :)  I am so anxious to get going, so I will!  My adventure buddy will be ready and I am taking pictures - LOTS of pictures, and probably a selfie or 5!!!

Have a wonderful, joyful day, my friends.  Drown out all the noise and be true to yourself.  THAT is the way to be a true joy giver.  XO

Oh YaY! Friday!

I really am not a person to wish away my week.  Let me edit that to say, I do wish away Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, but only when I'm perched looking towards an afternoon of noise- I am fine when I am in the midst of it.  I had someone state at a class this past summer, in the midst of my Lymes disease fog, that each day of the week, collectively,  is 1/7th of your life.  So enjoy every single one of those days.  So, as I don't feel negatively about Mondays (I like them!), I don't pine for Friday either.  I  REALLY like Friday, as I get to eat with grownups, I have a good productive prep time and we all wear more casual attire.  Yay for jeans and boots!!  But it is really another day in the rhythm of my week.

 Anyway, I am SO HAPPY today is Friday. This has been my first full week back and I am a wreck this morning.  (If any of you know what I had for dinner last night, let me tell you that wine and cheesecake has little to do with how I feel, so there!!  ;))  My arms are very stiff and I think could be a little swollen.  I woke up a badillion times last night, my weirdo feet went from freezing to sweating about 5 times and all in all I am NOT well rested.  Washing my hair was uncomfortable, and I am just a little off.  If any of my siblings read this- this is not an opening for responses, Lol.

Compounding the issue of a typical week, of course is that we are working afterschool I have been doing scenery with the kids for the musical.  We have a good start, but I enumerated the things we still have to do and my right eye started to twitch.  If any of you need me next week, you will find me back stage.  I plan to bring food and water and basically hang out until someone pushes me out the back door to my car.  Cell service is dicey on the stage, so good luck with that.  I have a big week coming up AND I have to begin clay with my little ones.  I am thinking of how to get my clay set up so I don't have to lift the 50 lb boxes.  My mind is always working through things like this, no wonder I wake up distracted with sweaty feet.

I would have taken today off, but I have not seen my Friday elementary kids for 4 weeks, or maybe 5.  I can't figure it out myself right now..... since January 25 at any rate.  And since that is one of my favorite Elementary days, I just can't wait.  Fortunately, I have a custom of no stage painting on Fridays, we all need a break, and after a quick stop at the grocery (more freaking lifting, good grief) I am going to go home and dive under a blankie on the couch and sit in my little corner of the sectional.  and rest!!!

I have an adventure coming on Saturday, because indeed I don't heed the good advice that myself and every living person in my life would give me, as in: rest for the day.  NOPE  I am BUSTING OUT OF HERE, BABY!!!  If I don't get out and do something fun I will lose my mind.  And so I am, and you will find out about it on Sunday!  Or on facebook Saturday, depending on if you do that or not.

Anyway, here is to another day of joy and coffee and advil and kids and by the looks of it, SUN!!  I hope you find some joy in your day as well.

Catching Up: The Sleepy Edition

I realized it has been a while since I did a little update here- once school began, holy smokes have I been running from the beginning of the day to the end.  And there is no sign of slowing down!

As you can imagine, I have a lot of things to catch up on at school.  Being gone for 2 plus weeks has taken a toll on many different aspects of my job.  I REALLY need to take down displays and put new ones up, but that is the LAST thing on my mind right now.  I have to post progress reports by Friday, and that is the first thing that will need to be done. I am always playing catch up on my planning for lessons.  I have posted barely anything in the elementary, tho they get the majority of my prep time.... Oh boy.  Then there is the after school work I have been putting into prepping and painting scenery for the play.  I go home and kind of crash.

I see no sign of things slowing up for a few weeks, either.  I went to a class this past Friday/Saturday that I need to give some attention to soon.  I have a little homework that needs to be finished and submitted.  The class was a physical test of endurance, too.  I drove for just shy of 3 hours both Friday and Saturday.  My arms did surprisingly well.  But I had a little pillow to rest them on as I drove- that worked great.  The pillow was not as helpful when sitting in front of a table for extended periods of time. Something about that is just uncomfortable for me.  But there were frequent rest breaks and it was an upbeat way to spend some time and learned some very valuable things.

Over the past few weeks I have added many successes to my list of things I can do again.  This past Monday I added opening my own garage door and feeding the horse back on the list.  I am going to have to have the MA transfer the new feed bags into the bin for a while yet.  I can fairly easily deal with the heavy school door with keys and bags.  I can carry my groceries, if I double check to make sure they aren't too heavy, and if they are, I use two hands.  I can carry a can of paint with 2 hands as well, so yay for me.

I have also found a host of weirdo things that I cannot do, which I think I went into previously. I just discovered that cutting a microwaved burrito with a freaking fork has been added to that list just yesterday.  Color me irritated.

I specifically asked the doctor yesterday (appt. was in Park Falls- YAY) what and how I should be doing and thinking when I am going through my day.  Obviously if I have pain, I should not do something. The thing that I was wondering about, they thing I was wrongish about, is what about the plain discomfort - and for lack of a better word- pressure that I feel when I do some things that are pushing the boundaries, or just trying to eat lunch?  It's a big old back-off-a-bit-Debi for that situation.  I thought that trying to increase my strength by pushing the boundaries a little would be a good thing, but I have been instructed to WAIT  until the discomfort is gone.  About another 2 weeks.

To say this is exasperating is an understatement, but I will do the good thing for me and be aware.  I have found many ways around the discomfort by adjusting the way I do things, and that will have to do for now.  I also have a exercise, so to speak, that I can do a few times a day to stretch all the necessary parts in my arms.  Range of motion is where it is at baby.

IN two weeks I have another appointment including x-rays, yay for me I guess, and we will see if all those little cracks and smushes have fixed themselves.  Meanwhile I will live within my limitations, and actively seek ways to work around them.  By mid-week here, I am beginning to feel the fatigue of my profession and not falling asleep until late last night didn't help much in that regard.  But that is my own fault!  :)  One more cup of coffee and I will me on my way.  Bright eyed and all that.....  or at least  upright and mobile.  I have come to the conclusion, just this second, that I am looking forward to a time where I can get attention for the things that I can and do do, and not for what I can't do.  In the coming 6 weeks I have a play to attend to and at least 2 art shows to put up.  I am not liking looking at the limitations that might slow me down.  Sh*t's getting real here, to put it in the pop culture vernacular.

So, I have to get myself up and going- see what the day brings, embrace what ever comes.  And I have awesome get away plans for this Saturday, so while I am not wishing away my time, I do have an adventure in the works.  and it is about freaking time!!

Until next time, embrace your joys, the expected and unexpected....the planned and unplanned.  And then pass some of it along to others.  You never know when someone is going to need it.

late day, long week, getting better

OH my goodness, this was my first week of full days and my lil self is TIRED, folks!

So what has happened the last few days? Basically last week I did half days and no after-school because I was toast after only a half day.  Friday I stayed HOME and rested, which I totally needed, and then I had of course, Saturday and Sunday.  Monday was an inservice that I attended, and then this week I have been at school all day and then after school for scenery.

I have had good progress in many ways.  I can put on my own socks, I am much more comfortable driving.  I can bring the phone to my ear and not have to have it on speaker.  All sorts of good things!  I was utterly fried on Tuesday, but Wednesday and tonight isn't quite so intense.  Well, not so far, but sleepy is coming.

This has been an interesting journey.  I have had a few introspective things come up over the past few days.  First of all, I believe I have alluded to the fact I have been battling the whole time the feeling that I am fake hurt. That, sure there is xray evidence of these elbow things, but if I would just suck it up and get going, I'd be fine.  This is something I feel every day.  I felt like I should deflect all conversation away from myself, because for some reason I did not deserve any attention for this.  I am not sure where this all comes from.  Is it the way that I was raised?  Is it a cultural expectation that women (or men for that matter) should not be held down for more than a short time by anything. That if you are affected than you must not be trying hard enough.  It has sort of bothered me and haunted me.  I'm sure Jo, the lady at school who procures substitutes,  would have appreciated me just saying that I was only coming back to school for the mornings that third week. That full days were going to just be too much. Would have helped her, I am sure.  I felt a bit depressed about the whole thing, as this inner struggle would nudge me frequently during the day and make me feel guilty and sad about sitting around.  Maybe that was a way my brain had to wrestle me down and keep me still.  I really don't like being still all day.

With the definite victories,  there are weird things I found that bother me- like stapling,  or say, folding paper  and pressing paper folds- like when one is folding origami swans and frogs during inservices.  I'm finding ways to work around those kinds of limitations, and using those benchmarks to understand where you are in your journey back to strength.

Speaking of strength, I will be having another checkup with the orthopedic doctor next Tuesday, I have to imagine I will be cut loose after that.  I am really doing fine, I will get some advice about retraining and getting my  muscles back!

I know I had a few other things I was going to say, but the sleepies are with me.  I am feeling the effects of the day and so I will begin my nightly winding down.  I hope that you found a big share of joy today, and take the time tomorrow to give some away!

Short escape from a temporary trap

I had a real feeling of being trapped today.  Trapped in the house, trapped by winter, trapped by my inability to do much of anything.  POOOOOOR Debi, right?

The thing is that I am feeling pretty normal for the most part most of the time.  I can do a little of this and that.  I can walk around, climb the stairs, do some stuff.  Then doing the simplest things makes me remember that I am unable.  Trying to put on lotion after a shower, scrape cake batter out of a bowl, scoop horse feed out of the bag.  It is demoralizing.  I still have little hand strength to be able to press down especially.  Makes slicing from a loaf of bread (a really good sourdough, mind you) almost impossible.

Hence, trapped.  I'm sick of HGTV, sick of playing any sort of game on Facebook and tired of sitting with myself and feeling somewhat useless. I am missing my activity, my walking, and snow-shoeing, and being able to take pictures beyond the safety of the deck.  I sort of am just getting to the point now of thinking seriously about where I am going to do some cardio.  I don't feel like I can chance falling again, so for the time being I am not going to walk on the road.  For now.

round bales

The wind has died down today, and so even though it was in the single digits, it felt sort of nice!  I went out this afternoon to feed old Jacpot, and saw something down on the trail.  I had my little camera with me because I knew that I needed to do something creative, even if it was to take a few pix of the round bails out past the horse's paddock. ANYTHING would be great.  So as I am wont to do, I started off down the trail snapping a pic here and there and venturing farther down the road. The something was merely a branch that had fallen off a tree.   It felt SO good to be out walking.  I got down the path to the corner and stopped and listened.  Listened to the birds and the cars in the distance and the sounds of the woods.  Listened to the noises that I haven't heard for 3 weeks.  Noises that made me feel grounded and happy.

mouse tracks

Then I noticed as I turned around, that I had seriously cold fingers as I set off without gloves or a hat.  If I had those I would have gone a lot farther.  Like probably to the cabin.  But since my brain is still set back in January, with the darkness falling at 4:45 instead of 5:30, I didn't think I really had time either.  Strange little things that alter your sense of reality and time.

On a really good note, I got to FaceTime with Ella and Jon and Sarah tonight.  She is such a funny little girl!  She has a good time entertaining her Gramma and Papa!

Tomorrow begins a new week of school.  Fortunately we have inservice, so I have another day of arm rest.  Then I have 3 full days of teaching with 3 days of play scenery painting after school.  It will be tiring I am sure, but I need to have my life back!

Hopefully your tomorrow will bring you some joy!  Stay safe and happy!

No BATB and other things

I'm sitting here wondering why my Aleve hasn't kicked in yet, but oh well, I'm pressing on.  

So the Book Across the Bay was doomed from the start, as the Mad-English teacher and I had a twitter discussion about the fact that there is no WAY we would be doing that thing this year.  NUH -UH!!!  TOOOOO cold and windy- the wind would have been the deal breaker.  It was cold last year and breezy, but this year its out of control.  So, oh well.  We will be BACK!  And for those who DO the BATB, you are warriors and I hope y'all don't get frost bite!

I have been emerging from my self-centered haze and realize that I did NOT send Valentines cards to my children and grandbabies.  Sadface.  That totally bums me out, I understand that sending a card does not make me the best grandma/mother in the entire world, but I was planning it and I spaced it.  I was even taken out on a road trip or two and I SAW VALENTINE CARDS AND I STILL DIDN'T CONNECT THE DOTS.  Oy.  I think I remember my mom sending things to the kids when they were little and it was so much fun to get that package.  Of course one time when we were waiting for a package to come, a certain child of mine **coughgregcough** fell off a little rocking chair and knock out his toofer.  Ah yes- the early walker and early teether experienced early injury...  Oh well.  He lived and thrived.  Lol

Anyway, I had a minor couple victories in the last day or so.  While making a burger for the MA (was it last night??)  I noticed a definite lack of pain while i was smashing that thing down with a spatula (I don't ever touch meat- ew).  This, to me, was a significant sign of healing for that crack in the right arm.  #FTW!!!  Then this morning I woke up with both of my arms tucked in under my chin- which is a usual position for them- importantly the left one was not stretched out setting on a pillow like Cinderella's glass slipper. YAY!!  It does still bother me quite a lot, but this was notable!  I like having tiny little victories like that.

So big news, I am going to the grocery store all by my lonesome today.  My lovely friend Luann went and picked up the heavy things for me on Thursday, so today I am going to get a few more things that won't weigh a million pounds.  Big victory.  And then Valentines lunch out.  If it wasn't for the grocery store trip, I would TOTALLY stay home, as it is nasty icky cold out there.  

Anyway, I hope all of you have a lovely Valentines Day with someone who really matters to you. The with part is a whole lot more important than anything else.  If not with them today, very very soon!  And I hope it brings you so much joy.

Taking it slow

My mind has finally caught up to, or in this case maybe slowed down for, my body and I have given into the fact that I will not be putting full days plus after school time this week.  It just isn't going to happen.  After my exhausting day Monday, I have cut myself back to mornings only this week, and since there is only a half day on Friday, I will be gone that day too.  Fortunately there is an inservice on Monday, so I will see how that goes.

There are all sorts of things that have made my arms hurt in the last few days, and I discover new and exciting things that involve the radial head ALL. THE. TIME. (Guess if I was able to use the apple slicer/corer thingie this afternoon!) (no)  I have mentioned this many times, I am most surprised by the lack of linear healing.  I could put on my socks this morning, but not pull the car door shut with my left arm. Yesterday I could do neither and the day before I could do both. Thank heaven for my HS kids who help me with school stuff - they are awesome.  I also have wonderful coworkers and my bosses are super supportive.  I think living in the north we all understand that these falls could happen literally anytime and to anyone of us- no matter how fit or athletic or graceful we are or are not.

This coming weekend is the Book Across the Bay and I am really bumming about that.  Even though the temperature is supposed to be really cold, I am not convinced I would not have been up there at 6pm on Feb. 14.  I see the updates on Facebook and I have all sorts of sad feels.  It was SUCH a fun time last year.  I saw people I hadn't seen in years, and the Mad-English Teacher and I had a blast.  And we made it back to town without falling asleep in the car or anything!!  Sigh.  So as the old cliché goes- there is always next year.

So, I am quickly running out of steam here.  Typing gets to me after a while and I am just plain getting sleepy.  I like to wait up for the MA- it is that time of the year and he will not be home for an hour or so.  At least he came home for supper and was able to relax for an hour before he went back at it.

I need to remember how far I have come.  I can get (mostly) dressed by myself (tight socks are a wildcard), put on a coat, zip, open the car door and then (usually) close it, drive, sleep- kind of, feed myself (chocolate, anyone?), take a shower, feed the  horse and on and on and only 2.5 weeks ago I could do none of it.  So YAY!  THAT is something to be joyful about!

oh yeah, I'm still recovering...

Oh sigh.

SO many people have told me how much energy and time it takes to heal from a reportedly serious injury.....  and I realize it over and over.  Oy.  I'm sorry but I just don't think that this should be continuing on, I think 2 weeks is plenty of down time don't you??  Yeah, I know, 6 weeks, blah.


My arm and I had a little discussion just now.  I told it how it has had an entire afternoon of rest and it reminded me that I have little say in how good it feels.  I think it was being just a little lippy.  It is sort of owie right now.

Ok, update:  I went to school Monday, I was partially incoherent much of the day. Really- there were times I could not finish sentences.  I also felt on the verge of an emotional breakdown for reasons I can't really explain.  I made it through the morning and went on to the elementary and taught wildly changed and altered lessons to the little ones.  I have a nice prep time at the end of the day on Monday and I spent that time popping pills and trying to recover so I could go onto the  last segment of the day: beginning scenery preparation for the school play....

Shall I say that I had a little dinner and then did not move much for the next several hours.  AND I fell asleep at the end of Ellen's furniture design show, so I don't know who got kicked off.  DON'T TELL ME EITHER!  I'm going to find it this weekend and watch it again.  I was awake for a new series called "Better Call Saul" which is looking to be really good.  I need something to replace Boardwalk empire.

I actually woke up and felt pretty good, but I knew that 2 days was going to be too much, so I rested this afternoon.  Apparently this was a smart plan, as I can't imagine what I'd feel like after 3 straight hours more of teaching.  I really really thought I would bounce back you guys.  I never in a million years expected to have to have periodic recovery periods. Ach.

Well tomorrow I will be hopping back into it, including after school scenery painting.  Hopefully it will be a little easier than Monday.

I live a boring life these days.  LOL.

I hope that you all have found yourself a little bit of joy today- mine was walking through the lunchroom today and I had a chorus of greetings from some very cute 3rd graders.  Made me smile SUPER big!

Sleep well and dream big everyone!  :)

Back at it

The day is here, I am finally going to head back to work!  As you can imagine, I am a bit conflicted about this, but mostly it is a giant relief.  I'd most likely go insane if I had to stay home for another week.

First of all, the how am I feeling update.  I am getting better, but slowly.  Yesterday I went to school with an assistant (thanks Cathy!) to do a little bit of set up and to check out some yarn supplies.  I was able to fairly easily open up the school door myself (that sucker is heavy) and get around.  I was not easily able to reach most of the things I needed in the elementary school art room, particularly.  I will have to really be planning my needs in advance.

I feel fine this morning.  As usual it takes about 5 minutes of typing and my left arms starts to ache.  My ankle will be fine until about noon, I am not sure about the stamina of my right arm.....  but I can't sit at home today.

I have pumped myself full of caffeine, so I will have my edge.  I have prepped by taking one bag of stuff to school yesterday, the only thing I have to do is have the MA open the garage door for me.  I think.  I really do not know how I will do physically today, which is why I am a little uneasy.  But I know I will have a nice welcome back from the kids, because my subs have said how much the kids all miss me.

I have all my things laid out and ready to go.  I just have to finish assembling lunch and get dressed.  I still need to gather my courage and my determination and pick up my joy on the way out of the house.

And so it goes, slowly

Some of you might be tired of this, but on the other hand, I assume if you are tired of these updates, y'all aren't reading them!  :)  So there is that.  I am continuing this line of blogging, so I can update a whole bunch of peeps at one time.  Makes sense I think!

Regardless, I am a little on the frustrated side today.  After one comfortable night a few nights ago, I have had a lot of waking up.  Not exactly sure why, but could be because I have not been sitting around and not doing NOTHING.  I can't believe that I shouldn't be doing some activity to start getting mobility and flexibility.  And I was basically told that I could do what I wanted as long as I am not making myself hurt a lot.  Hard balance to strike.

I would love NOTHING more than to go for a nice long walk outside, but I frankly am a little afraid.  If I fall, that will be a potential problem.  And there is ice EVERY where here.  So annoying.

I do need to get to school for a little while tomorrow, so I can see if I have enough white and black yarn to start a project with my 4th and 5th graders.  I just will need someone to come with me.....  So, I have to figure out who I have taken advantage of least and doesn't mind standing on a chair or two.

So I have such a big day planned- HAHAHAHA- I am going with to pick up horse feed- I will in no way be involved in the picking up, go to lunch, then possibly wash a few dishes and I should start practicing my Italian again too.  Hopefully that hasn't all gone away.  I will make a stab at making some roasted veggies and then rest my arms.  Big plans!

Today I might have to work a little harder at finding my joy!  But I will find a way to do it.