Good Lord, why hasn't it frosted yet??

 Alrightie, it appears that even though I think I will write more here, I dont.  I will say a good deal of that has to do with the fact that I have been doing quite a lot of drawing.  Something I thought I would do a lot of when I retired, but Covid really mucked everything up.   My brain was in no position to be drawing much, or definitely not for a sustained period.  I literally couldn't make that commitment.  And you think about things a lot when you draw.... and it was too uncomfortable to bear.

I am to the point in the year, where I am begging Mother Nature to just freeze things off already.  I am ready for my obligation to water things to be done.  It is so nice the tomatoes did well here in the last few weeks, and for once the squash are actually ripening and I am just so over it.  I have a long attention span, really, but I am done.  I have a ton of flower photos and I haven't processed them yet, because again, I have only so much time in which I am HIGHLY creative and drawing has sucked it up.  

This month the drawing is intense as the sketchbook group I belong to online has a #selfietember challenge and I have been doing those.  If you follow me on my instagram (@debikayo) You will have seen some of those.  It has been an interesting project for many reasons.  I have to catch up now as I was away for a few days to Bayfield and I am behind.  I didnt have time to draw there, we kept pretty busy.  My sister and I (and her hubby Bill for a day and some change) met my brother up there and we spent Tuesday together.  We had a great time.  I gave them a tour of Madeline island, and then we had Bloody Marys on the deck of the Bayfield inn.  and later ate at the Pier.  Good times!

So I am about to embark on making a digital childhood selfie, so I should stop distracting myself by ordering garlic from Jungs to plant in a few weeks, load the dishwasher, change the laundry and other ways I am trying to avoid my thought process.  Its exhausting.  I need some clarity in parts of my life, and it isnt ready to happen yet so the muddled think throughs are happening.  

Oh and btw, my Seester and I are going on a big old vaca in 10 days....  so if you are an instagram person- I prefer that in a big way to Facebook- you might catch some photos on there...  especially the story section.  I would like to put some discussion about that on here, but we know how that can go.  I know I feel so much less anxious when I travel, so I am looking forward to a big chunk of time that wont involve me dissecting every word I have said for the last 10 days - 10 years....  lol. I am sure most of you know what I mean.

Anyway, ROCK ON my friends.  Have a great weekend.

Lets try this again

 Hello again. Its been a while...

So I have a draft all full of angst and reasons and discussion and gnashing of teeth sitting in my queue and I just dont know if it is all necessary.  That happens to me sometimes when I am working through shit.  Which is what I am doing right now.  There is likely going to be a few things with no actual context here, but its what I need to do right now.

To cut through all the verboseness that is me, I had an inconsequential, yet jarring thing happen to me right at the very start of my June getaway and it rattled me enough to ask myself a very difficult question.  At the heart of it all is an acquired lack of confidence or hutzpah that I used to have.  I've turned into a mass of goo in my inner core; instead of a crunchy, sweet, spicy center, I have angsty goo.  Not a fan.

My brain blurted out who the hell even are you anymore.  I see myself as a result of trying to make all the people "like me", and it isn't really working out well. A mixture of retiring and covid and personal choices and lack of structure has resulted in a lot of anxiety.  I find it hard sometimes to imagine why or how I can be a value to anyone.  Of course when I mention this to a close friend or two, they tell me how its not true, but I really have moments of doubt.

But if there is one thing I learned when I quit dieting and had some significant life coaching, it is that my thoughts are not always my truth.  So I am on a quest to find truth.  I have filled the days since the structure of my days that was my well loved job, was removed from my life (by my choice, mind you. And overall I do not regret it) with things to hopefully fulfill me.  And a lot of it just rings hollow.  I am doing things I think will be good for me, and mostly they just fill the time.  

I have had several things present themselves to me over the last few days- Instagram posts, emails, ideas - that have rung true.  Removing things and people who do not serve me, finding my joys and inspirations, value the people who are the most important, both near and far. I'm trying not to imagine what people think of me or what the future holds because I truly don't know.  We shall see and time will tell.  The things I worry about the most are usually not a problem, and much of it just doesnt matter.

I have no idea what isnt serving me yet, but I feel that is surfacing.  I am not sure what I need to bring back into my life, to find my joy, but some of those things are starting to bubble up as well.  I need to find my authentic self again.  So many things have changed me, and I almost never have resisted.  Overall, I have a lot of good things in life.  But something is missing.

If you know what that is, please let me know.  Lol.  As for the other post, I probably will let that sit for a while and see what happens.  Blogger has changed a bit since I last posted, so I have no idea if anyone will even see this.  And if that is true then I guess that is fine too.  This is a way of me figuring my way through some powerful words and forces that have appeared lately. I know that writing makes me feel the power, and I know that my art does as well.   

I scanned through my posts to see when I started this  blog and it was back in 2011.  Wow!  What I like is how this has been a nice way to record odd things that happen that I would never remember.  Or save big events in picture form.  I feel like maybe I should do that again.  Maybe that is something that will begin my journey back to me.  

A thought for today, and some information

Hey!

So the information first, apparently the thing where you get an email, if that is how you subscribe too this craziness here is going away in July.  why- I have no idea. There is a way to download the subscribers, I guess.  I don't even know if I want to know how that even works.  So if that is how you know I have posted, that apparently wont be the case anymore.  I get the feeling google doesn't want to deal with blogger so much anymore.  

I had this thought come to me yesterday, while I was dealing with some weird thing.  Being an adult in life- it is like you are trying to hop from rock to rock in a raging river.  Just when you get to the next rock and you see that you have made it, there is the next rock.  You never can get very comfortable, there is always some wave in the river trying to get to you.  I feel like that literally all the time.  Retirement, boy weren't we lucky to get out when we did, but then there is health, and your friends and family with issues, and some indeed experiencing the end of life.  All the things you think you will learn and do, and so many other things get in the way. Most of them happen in your own head.

Hop, whew made it to the next rock.  Oh dang it, I cant stay on this rock- I'm going to try to make it to the next one.  Oh yay, safe.  Oh wait nope.  How to get to the next one.  Maybe this rock will be better.  but it sort of never is.

Nothing drastic is happening to me, don't read more into it than necessary (which by the way, I am famous for reading far more into things that necessary).  Just so many expectations, disappointments, challenges and goals.  things to look forward to and an occasional regret.

Hop. step.  Can't stay here, move forward .....

Chocolate cookies and things

Today is a not-gonna-do-it day for me.  If I don't feel like it, I'm not.  For the most part that is.  I guess the MA will get fed since the poor boy works 7 days a week.  But if you know him, for the love of all things good in this world, do not drop by and visit him at the office.  Public service announcement: do not stop and chit chat with your local accountant.  They are too nice to tell you that. Anyway, I didn't want to snowshoe or anything else this morning so there it is....  not gonna do it.

I keep thinking back to the dentist office and the really messed up energy that hygienist had. She will be encouraged to take it down about 3 steps next time.  You know, I specifically asked not to be nagged when I started at this new office a few years ago, apparently they will need to be reminded.  Yes, I am still pissy about it all.

Ok, deep breaths and I am reminding my self of what my meditation instructor said this morning: you can always come back to this place of peace whenever you need to.  And I am doing so.  People unloading on me, yet again, find your peaceful place.  People not answering me back (some of whom I may be related to)- peaceful place.  A lot of energy because I didn't do any yoga or strength training today- peaceful place AND let's make something chocolate.  

I had chocolate chips in the house, but was missing one of the ingredients needed to make magic cookie bars. I have coconut but not the will to roll up balls of coconut candy and dip them in chocolate.... sigh.  So, chocolate cookies it is.  Why not?  The dough is literally chilling out in the fridge at the moment, so here I am waiting for it to firm up to be baked.  

Which leads me to some random thoughts I had while doing this new recipe.  Seriously, Pinterest and blogger bakers are pretty damn annoying. First of all you have to wade through paragraphs and more paragraphs to get to the recipe.  Then the woman who wrote the recipe started talking about over measuring flour- I mean, what the heck does that even mean?  Then she said also, don't use too LESS flour..... oh honey.....  So I read on and realize she means, you need to make sure you don't put in too much flour- therefore scoop it and level. Some sad examples of awkward/incorrect phrasing.  Minor I know but - I am easily annoyed today. 

 I remember one recipe that I did for a chocolate swirl banana bread that, I kid you not, had you using like 5 bowls and a pan and all of the measuring utensils in your cupboard.  I got it down to one bowl and a glass 4 cup measuring cup, besides teaspoons and things like that.  At the time, my mission was to avoid dishes.  Since I now have a dishwasher, it is purely for bragging rights and pride.  I have no one to brag to but myself, but we are pretty smug about it.  Anyway, I know I shouldn't be down on people because you don't know their journey, but if you put that stuff on the internet you should do your editing. And for god sakes don't make a million dirty dishes.

But on a positive note, Laurie and I are beginning to plan out the plants we are growing.  I should point out that she is the one with the indoor seed starting setup: the correct lighting, windows, plant racks, etc.  I am here to provide moral support, help and potting soil.  My house just doesn't have a good place for it, and I am not setting that up in my bedroom.  I know someone who thinks I should put all kinds of things in there and that gets shot down really quickly.  I am not filling that room with stuff.  I am slowly improving the space with carefully chosen beautiful items....  makes me happy to think about it. 

It almost looked like the sun might be peeking out, but maybe not.  However, it is staying lightish out past 5 pm now, and that is really outstanding. Might be getting a bit of snow tomorrow, and that is fine, too.  To have it almost 4pm and really bright out yet is so hopeful and so joyful.  And we all need a little bit of that. 

I think it is time to bake the cookies!  If you follow me on Instagram I am sure that photos will follow, at least in the stories part.  Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  Rock on!

Crying during a happiness meditation

 Yes, you read that right.  I was so disturbed by this I can't even tell you.  

I am going to talk about one thing at a time here- like in each post a different focus.  I have a billions things that I could say, but  I have possibly been identified as someone who is decidedly nonlinear in her story telling, so I am going to try to keep this concise.  Yeah, I just rolled my eyes at that idea as well.

Why did I cry?  Idk, but in my quest to make sure I get the January activity challenge on Peloton, even on my rest days, I at least do a meditation or a restorative yoga. A few unanswered questions there, right?

So yes, let's rewind.  Back  in December, things were much like they are now, except of course for the stresses of Christmas, which somehow makes things seem even more sucky but I digress. I decided for the sake of my physical and mental health I needed to change a few things. So I started by allowing myself to be talked into (tho I had been thinking about it) joining the Peloton cult. I am a person who constantly needs change and new things to do, and this time of my life has way too few of those things.   I was perturbed to find out the bike won't get here until late February, but also heartened because they give you free use of the app during your wait time so you can become properly indoctrinated, um oh, or should I say, to give you something to do to pass time waiting.  

The app has literally everything on it for you  to do that is available on the bike, but, you know, there is no bike.  So if I had a different bike, which I don't, I could use it to cycle.  BUT there is a lot else to do there, including but not limited to: strength training, resistance bands, yoga, meditation, cardio, outdoor walking coaching (which is kind of ridiculous to use when you are plodding through snow and over icy roads), pilates, etc.  I am putting a positive spin on the fact the bike won't be here for a while by saying I am using this time to get stronger so I don't actually harm myself. And it is really true.  

Fortunately for me, I have the technique for weight lifting down pat, so it is just a matter of building up the pounds that I move.  I'm on the threshold of needing 15 pound dumbbells (for any one near by that is going out of town anytime soon- that would be awesome) and I, of course, picked up resistance bands as well, because variety  (and shopping) makes me happy.  Now the yoga thing is a different matter, I have done small amounts here and there, so I have a nodding acquaintance with it, but I am taking that slow.  I have  gotten the mat and the blocks for it, as they are quite crucial.  

Anyway, I can talk about that (yoga and strength training) another time, because I am trying to prove I can stay some what on topic. So Peloton gives you badges for things- like so many days in a row and for doing x number of strength, yoga, stretching.....  etc sessions.  A FUN thing is to do their live classes, which I try to work in when I can, otherwise they are all on demand.  So yeah, as I have proved in previous parts of my life, I will work hard for virtual bling.  shiny things.  useless awards. bring it. On this program there is NO talk of diet ever and they really do a good job of modifying or offering modification techniques for all people.  It is quite good, except for the whole moving-from-standing-to-hands-and-knees-or-lying so fast situation.  It can be a problem depending on how far I have pushed myself the previous day. Some days standing up from down dog is not going to gracefully happen.  But wow have my stupid knees gotten better, so there is that.  

Today is a total rest day.  Which means no yoga, no strength, no pilates from hell, etc. but because Debi does work for badges- she will at least do a meditation on rest days to keep that streak going.  

I have been doing daily meditation for 3 years now and I am a believer.  I use Headspace in the morning, virtually every morning, and so I was not convinced that I would need to use Peloton meditation.  But that first day came where I needed to take a day off, and I was firmly hooked into those badges, and so I logged in to a meditation.  Well.....  they are amazing! For the most part the instructors for meditation only do that and yoga.  That is not true of all of them, but for the most part.  All of the meditations have been great, there are 3 people I keep going back to because I like their voices and their ways. My favorite probably is Ross, who had a live meditation this morning.

So yeah, he had a happiness meditation, which he prefaced by saying is not a light- everyone be happy, but more of a deeper allowing yourself to have peace or whatever works for you.  I love the music they use too, btw, and it felt good to start.  But when he began prepping us for the main meditation, I don't even know what he said but my eyes filled with tears and literally before I knew it he was wrapping up that 10 minutes and I had been wiping my eyes the whole time.  Not exactly what I was expecting.

So do I feel happy? Not exactly, but I am feeling more aware.  This whole self quarantine stuff is shitty.  I do not do well with it at all.  I feel angry when people are doing things that I can't let myself do yet, I feel sad when I don't hear back from my people, I feel hopeless that it will ever end....  then I am pissed at myself for being such a baby, but I feel what I feel and so I let myself off the hook as much as I can. Like I said in the previous post, I am trying to let people be who they need to be and I have to do that with myself as well.  

So today, I decided to write a little, I am going to renew my intent from a month ago to draw a face a day- nothing fancy, just draw.  I am going to read a chapter of a pretty good book I have been reading and I am going to try to leave my people alone and be my own best friend.  I'm not that great at any of this some days.  Wish me well.

And everyone put thought of a Peloton bike coming to me the last Tuesday in February out into the universe- because I have been waiting 5 weeks already and I have been using these 5 weeks to the best of my ability!!!  

Rock on people! xo

wow its been a hot minute

 Hey there- 

I had some grand idea about writing something and then I tried loading Chrome onto my Mac and that didn't work out too well, and I don't have the will to complete the mission....  so all my ideas have vanished.  

It is interesting to see that Blogger is updated, I have not been on here for quite a while.

So I guess now that I know Blogger works well again on the Safari platform, Google chrome can just sit there and not be installed.  HA.

I see a hint of the sun coming out but I have no reason to go outside since there is no mail here on MLK day. Which makes no sense in any context whatsoever.  I have had ideas for short little posts but until this minute just let them slip out of my consciousness.  I am feeling the need to write, so I probably will.  It'll be somewhat longer than a tweet but shorter than one of my usual rambles.  

I will use these posts to describe the weirdly not-all-that-successful settling into retirement that I have experienced, and other random thoughts that literally flood my brain when I am surviving this separation from people at large.

At the moment, I am working hard to let people be who they are.  I have some folks in my life who are not in alignment with the way I have been living, and it is quite disturbing to me.  But I am letting them be who they need to be, trying not to judge the hell out of them.  Be who you need to be,  that is my mantra for the present time.  Well I have another one too, but you probably don't want to know what that is.  haha.  One person does, and that is it.  I have a filthy mouth inside this head of mine and my mantras do reflect that.

More random thoughts to come.

And maybe pictures too, but I am not actually promising that.  Which we all know will come, but I am not in the mood today.

Peace out!

Wow random and disjointed today.  Its me at my best 😁

Mind Clutterz: old thingz and new thingz

I have been feeling the pull of the blog lately.  Until the last week or so, I have had so much noise in my mind that I haven't been able to clearly focus on almost anything.  Even things I need to get done, don't.  

Retirement - as I indicated earlier- isn't as smooth sailing as one would come to believe.  There is a lot of your self confidence and self worth tied up in your profession, especially one that you have to be fully committed to- heart and mind- like teaching.  I have missed the people and I have missed the kids.  I subbed once a week ago and it was fun, but I determined that the advanced art students should not have me in the building yet. So I am waiting a few more weeks.  

A new gig- so oddly and fortunately- I have a former student (who I adore by the way, he was a memorable and favorite of mine) is the editor at the newspaper here in our county.  He asked me, when he did that amazing article about me for Teacher Appreciation Week, if I would be willing to do some photo assignments.  And I was and I am and I did!  I have done quite a few things now, things I have never done  much before, like shooting football games, lining people up for formal group pictures and taking pictures specifically for the paper with our demographic in mind.  It is interesting and super fun.  I have always loved learning new things, and this is cool. And new photography gear #ftw!!

Speaking of learning new things- for reasons far beyond actual comprehension I am using Duolingo to learn Italian and relearn German.  I had done some language learning a few years ago on Rosetta, but now I am going in a little more deeply.  For whatever reason if I am feeling anxious, I can sit down and plod through Italian for a while and then make myself feel good about my intelligence by zipping through a few German lessons.  

An aside here:  I can testify that if you want to learn a language WELL, start young.  My class in Clinton Schools (WI) was the last class to have German from 4th grade on through High school.   We had a German teacher who came in I think once a week or so when we were younger and then you didn't have to take it after 6th grade.  I think. Hard to remember.  In Jr. High and HS it was a traditional class.  I kept taking it through HS, and was not smart enough to take it in college because I was sick of it by that time.... so I tried taking French which was an epic fail- I passed the class but omg, what a nightmare that was.  All those people yakking on in French, so you knew they had it in high school.  I did not.  Anyway, as I go through the lessons, the German that is, I am fuzzy on vocab, but for whatever reason much of the sentence structure is right there.  I don't think about it, I just know it.  Because I had extensive education in it when I was young....  Italian is hard, you guys.  lol  But I am working through it.  German- which is not a particularly simple language to learn- is easy for me because I had it in my formative years.  It is crazy for schools to be cutting languages... but I digress.

Anyway, I have been taking photos and cleaning up my gardens, and generally enjoying the fall.  This little post satisfied my need to write for the moment and so I guess I will finish up a few things before I go to the football game here in a little while.  Trying out the new lens and all!  It's a beast of a lens but it will be perfect for the challenging lighting conditions.  Good times!  A new way to find my joy.  

Bis später, findest du deine Freude!

Arrivederci 

more thoughts...

One would think that one would be ecstatic to be retiring, but I have come to find out that it isn't as easy as it appears. 

There are several weird mind things that are going on here- in reality, you are really an expert at your job when you are ready to retire.  I mean, I feel so successful at teaching most things, but the painting series I do with the students is totally rocking effective....  I am referring to the hs kids here of course- but the same goes with the littles- you know what you want them to be doing and you know how to get them there- it is just picking out the projects that will be most effective for that group of kids.

Next of all- I don't know about all of you all, but I am pretty sure I am not old enough to retire.  My birthday begs to differ, but I seriously feel like I have only just started a few years ago.  It sort of feels like cheating.  I have never felt (and some say acted) my age, and I think hanging out with teenagers every day gives you an altered outlook on life.  These are some fine people that I am teaching, don't for a moment believe the negative people in the world who do the "the kids these days" thing.  Guess what - the old people said that about you too- the world does not stay stagnant and it is a different world from when we were growing up- you have no idea what these kids do.  And they are fine humans, who happen to be trapped in some serious hormone overload at the moment.

I made the decision REALLY fast and I haven't had a lot of time to acclimate myself to it.  I have embraced it but I haven't fully had it integrate in me.  I am looking forward to it, yet it has defined such a big part of my life and it is so weird to think I won't be doing it anymore.  It is a relief and a seriously terrifying idea this whole being done with your career.  I'll adapt and I will stay busy, but I am looking at the time in front of me this fall and wondering how I will react.  Fortunately the summer is a buffer and I will just let the fall happen.

I am a person who has to process by talking out loud, and I am more than a little worried I am driving my closest friends crazy.  I want to leave them alone, but I feel totally afloat and a little afraid....  good thing they are so patient with me.  I am very lucky.

I- for better or worse- have a countdown going, something I refused to do before this year.  I just didn't want to know how many days of school were left, I didn't want to think about it usually.  Time goes too slowly if you count things down, I thought, and that is true to a degree.  But it also makes it possible to really embrace the day, live in the moment and try not to wish your life away.  I tell my high schoolers to not hurry their time in school, that some day they will realize how good their time here actually was (for most of them) and I am trying hard to take that advice.... and find all the joy  that I can while I am at it.... but somehow I can't help saying- Is it June yet?

Almost the end of birthday month

You know, this has been a weird summer.  Just odd and strange and it is going too fast.  Sigh. I  am feeling more than slightly unsettled by the whole thing, and there just isn't much I can do about it.  More life things have come about this week, nothing that is shocking or life changing - but it is just another example of the universe telling you you are certainly not in charge of your life.

In less than a week it will be August, I will have a string of company coming, I will be traveling a little bit and then  (insert both silent and hysterical screaming) the school year will begin.  I am getting more and more resistant to the thought, so I know that within 5 years I will be teaching my last year.  Not sure of the timing on that, so don't go around and pass rumors people.  There is enough of that silliness around, just don't participate.

Once I get there I'll be fine, but as with positive anticipation, the negative is also very strong.  Gah.  Anyway, on a positive note, I think I have found a place to hang some photos for sale.  I really never intended to do that in my life, but (remember that universe thing from above) I have had a few sales that were totally unsolicited so maybe I will give it a try.  I just need to figure out what I should get printed, etc.  Gallery wrap, canvas wrap, etc.  If it doesn't work out I will have some photos to hang at my house or gifts or whatever.  :)

Then the framing issue, which I detest doing, but the gallery wrap thing might solve that whole problem.

Anyway, I am investigating that.  It is interesting when things appear before me and I am actually alert enough to understand that **this is a sign, Debi**.

I NEED to finish a few parts of my house this week so I can have company and not stress out over the  remnants of this cleaning binge I have had.  And there are some things upstairs that need to leave my house, so I have to get it all to thrift shops or the transfer station.  I hate to use every minute of my last week to myself cleaning the freaking house, but that seems to be what this summer has turned into.  This could be part of my discontent!

Anyway, one of my goals today is to get another Portland day recorded- this is always time consuming, and this time I have to use all phone pictures for the latter half of the day as I left my camera in the car for the museum.  sometimes you just have to do that.

I better get on with it here, my coffee cup needs a refresher.  Have a wonderful day and be sure to find time for some joy.

June

Well I feel bad that I haven't written in here for over a month.  But I have been doing a lot of stuff and haven't had the inclination I guess.

My back yard has some really good views!

I am super tired this morning.  I have been getting up and getting to school by 6 (bangs head on table) to get my hours in for our "summer curriculum writing camp".  I am not sure who thought they should call this camp, but they are wrong.  There was no singing campfire songs and toasting marshmallows involved.  The word camp should never be involved with an extension of your work year,- truly it was an inservice and involved no ghost stories at night or swimming or any other "camp activities".

So, I will be done by noon because I have been getting to school so early- my 40 hours of "camping" will soon be up.  I am going to get a nice little lunch in with my dear friend the Mad-Science Teacher but then home I go.

This weekend I have to make a run to Rhinelander for what I shall call a little repair project for now- more to come on this later, stay tuned.  Sunday I can't even think of what the heck I was going to do because I am TIRED and could have slept for ages.....   But if nothing else, Monday it seems that grand baby #5 will be born so I am on Gramma duty for that day.  Unless something happens earlier that is.  :)  And it will be a little girl!

Oh I know, the Mad-English teacher is coming and we are going to go up to Bayfield for our end of school thing.  And he and I have an additional adventure scheduled in just over a week.  But I will tell you more about that at a later date as well.

Anyway, I can't sit here and ruminate over events of the last month or so as I have to go get ready for work.  My hand is so sore from computer work (and from garden weeding as well) that I am just shuddering at the thought....  I am not made to sit at a desk all day.  I will take the kids to teach, thank you very much.

Meanwhile I think I will post the requisite cloud picture and get going.  I believe my coffee has begun to kick in and I don't feel quite so zombie like.  Sort of.

Have a wonderful Friday- as I prepare to get the heck out of here and go to school......  if someone came and kidnapped me and say gave me a ride on their motor cycle from here to maybe way WAY south - or east or west- or even possibly north, I would not object.  Just sayin' people.  ;)

Find your

And kayaking happened a few days ago!  

joy and be kind.
SaveSave

A whole pile of random things...

So I sort of have lots and nothing much to say.....  this is my mood these days.  Which is mostly just fine with me.  Those who need to know my stuff do- and those who don't, well, don't.

First off, I recently purchased an AMAZING wide angle lens for my camera. (Insert happy dancing here)  And I do mean amazing.  It is the lens I have wanted my whole life and didn't know it.  I will be using it for cloud pix and landscapes mostly, and already, it is so incredibly satisfying.  It ticks off so many many of my photography needs....  I could soliloquize for days, but I won't.  But look!  LOOK at those pictures!!! It really bothers me that I didn't have it for my Bayfield trip.  I had ordered with what I thought was plenty of time, but the order got hung up in processing.  Um- wut?  If I didn't know that lens was going to be amazing for me I would have canceled.  I'm glad I didn't though- so very glad.  But what is up with that Canon???  HMMMM???

This was a really good weekend for the most part, I got a lot of little things done- plus finished one book and polished off a collection of short stories.  GOOD STUFF PEOPLE!!

The short story collection especially was excellent- called Drown by Junot Diaz.  A group of 10 stories about different members of a family based in the Dominican Republic and in the US.  Some brutal stuff, but quite compelling.  One of my favorite books in this genre!   The favorite other short story collection that I always recommend is Interpreters of the Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri - both worth picking up and reading.

Old house with a bit of mystique

In other news it has been cold and tomorrow will be warm and then it will get cold and I want daffodils.  The warm weather has pushed me into premature daffodil longing- I try not to think about it too much before the end of March, but here I am- wanting some.  I've had a couple photos sent my way by people that understand- - -  I will take more of those!!!!  :)    Pictures will do until I can either pick some or procure them in another way.  

The MA has been busy busy this month, as you all mostly know.  He sort of hit the ground running very early in January and has been in the office every day since.  LONG days....  So when he gets here we do chit chat a bit.  The man is getting even funnier these days- I feel like I should get a book and record the things he has been saying, sort of like what you want to do for your kids or the students at school.  Because you know you are never going to remember them in an hour.  The last thing he said a couple days ago- and maybe it is funnier to me than any one else when we were discussing the lengths that people go to maintain their accountant.  The miles they drive, the things they do.....  he tells me: No one wants to tell the new guy about their life.  Which like I said, sent me into fits of giggles, but other people may not get it??  No?  Oh well.  Anyway, he sleeps a lot in front of the tv after he finishes supper.

LOOK at that smooshy, kissable face

Not me though, the more I do at school the less likely I am to sleep.  It is just a wonderful thing being awake for the 4th time at 11:30 pm- said no one ever.  So I slept a lot (I got laughed at when I said I slept "in" until 6:30, but that IS sleeping in for me!) this weekend, as I really was able to relax.

As you may or may not know, tis the play time of the year and the Chequamegon school is putting on The Music Man- you know- 76 trombones and all that.  Lots of fun- silly, catchy songs.  Plenty of scenery to paint.  And my initial massive group of enthusiastic volunteers has dwindled a bit.  But such is the life of the Mad-Art teacher!  We will be fine, the troops will rally.

Last month's visit with the grandgirlies

It has been intense at school, though.  Many students have a hard time in the middle of the year like this- the winter, the school work, the rare days off and the stresses of families seem to add up to a lot of kids in distress.  Seniors are focused on finishing strong, junior are worried about imminent ACT tests, sophomores are sort of lost and freshmen still- as a group- are pretty clueless. But warmer, longer days are coming- and we will make it. As I said in my last post, this snow day could not have come at a better time.  We needed this unexpected mental health day.

I still have more artwork to get into the hallways, I need to do my high school progress reports and I shall be needing to get to looking at art work for the upcoming art show as well.  So there will be no easing up in the foreseeable future.  But that just makes the week go fast, so thats ok.

Lots of things coming up, lots of things to make the day go by fast.  I've said frequently the last few weeks that I would love to discover a worm hole and a perpendicular universe so I could come to school- get into that time warp and clean both of my rooms- then come out of it and teach school.  In a tidy art environment.  That would be great- someone needs to hook me up with that - K?  Anyone?

So, I am feeling like I need to get out a book and read and relax and get myself to bed here soon.  I hope all of you have a great productive week and if I find someone who can direct me to the nearest 4th dimension, I will let you know so you can get everything done you need to do, too!  I'm helpful like that!  And I send you a week full of joy as well.

I can't lose my sparkle

It has been a while since I posted here- I think about it a lot, and so you know--- here I am.  But I have begun many posts in my mind, and a post or two right on this computer- but I never actually write.  I close the browser, close the laptop and do something else.

First good snow and beginning of the ice

When I write this it is sort of like journaling and sometimes stuff comes pouring out that really wasn't intentional, and yet there it was....  I really like writing here, I love posting my pictures- it is something that makes me feel great and I have had enough people tell me how much they enjoy the various aspects of this blog, that I continue. Not that I actually HAVE to have external validation, but it is enjoyable.

So, recently it has come to my attention- not about my blog, but other online parts of life- that there are people who have no other life to live and intrude.  And I have heard about these things indirectly and so I have been feeling like I had to edit my thoughts on paper er online.  Now, this is interesting, as it is my fucking blog and I can write what I want, but because I live in a supposed civilized society- somehow I feel responsible for not pissing everyone I know off.

COLD evening in December

So this gives me anxiety, which is not good for me- at all.  Anxiety- in its milder form- has been with me my entire life.  Of course we all get anxious at times, that is part of life, but I definitely have some periods that I am pretty much paralyzed when I have down time.  I function fine within my work, but when I get home I am done.  If my mind latches onto something that is upsetting, or if I feel I have unknowingly wronged someone (story of my life) or similarly they have been unfair to me, I can barely function.  It is a problem. Fortunately I can shake myself off of it if I make sure I get to the gym or outside.... but this is not always the case.  I know I don't have a serious case, but still.... and Christmas doesn't make it any easier.  But I will say, I have worked through a lot of my Christmas related litany of unrealistic expectations and at least that is much easier to deal with.

You may find it hard to believe I feel this way, but you just don't always know what goes on in the inside of someone, not matter how joyful they appear to be.

As mentioned above, exercise is a saving grace for me, and if I can't get out and do some heavy duty cardio, my mental health does suffer a bit.  So one of the things that I have not written about since I last said hello- along with some STUPID cold weather, Thanksgiving, Ella visiting, kiddo sitting for the mad middle son, Christmas shopping and decorating and my other random carryings on- is something that has sort of stopped me from doing that good for me exercise.  If you ask certain people in my life- lets say younger people who are possibly in the same room as me during the morning, you may find out a supposed story about a large heavy mirror come crashing down on my toe- a toe that I am positive got smashed into an electron cloud of owie...   But we all know that nothing is done to injured/busted big toes, so aside from icing and a few ibuprofen, I did not bother to go get it X-rayed.  I just don't find the inside of the clinic all that enticing... and NO ONE wants to fill out that workmans comp report... oy.  so yeah, I can sort of weight-lift and I can walk a couple miles.... and I have found I can sit and ride the exercise bike at the gym, if I can beg someone to come and talk to me while I am doing it.

I just looked at my last few blog posts and see a similar anxious note to them, and that makes me sort of sad.  So while I refuse to adjust my musings for the pleasure of others, I also know that I need to deal with this all and move on.  So many parts of my life have hit a wonderful rhythm, and very satisfying relationships help keep me even and grounded.   I have come to understand a lot of things about myself in the last few years that really make life so much easier- so I have just a bit more work to do. A few more things to understand.

I had walked down to the boat landing in November- before  hunting season...  on this lovely day.  When I got home, I hopped in my car and brought the DSLR down and took these.  So glad I did

I do have a lot more to tell you and some more photos to share.  And I have to get rocking and rolling on that, as Christmas is coming and I have company coming,  and hopefully some Bayfielding!  Because I am missing that- big time.  Not to mention the dal at Coco's - mmmmm and the falafel.

So shake off all the crap if you can and find your joy!  And remember to live in the moment and enjoy the people who are the most important to you.  Everyone else can just wait.

Finding my joy, a sunset, and green tomatoes

Beginning a new school year always presents some challenges, but over all this one has been going pretty well.  I have huge High School classes, but they are a really great group over all.  We have (as a staff) been intervening immediately on some children who need a little extra attention- so the usual has had a little extra added to it.  But that is ok, if we can help a student be successful, it's worth all the extra time.

Here is the sunset promised in the Title!  Lol random I know.

There have been some changes as there always is and I will just say the biggest change at school seems to be a very positive one.  I hold off judgement until later in the school year, but so far so good.  I don't mean to sound vague, but as you can imagine, one doesn't want to divulge information that should be kept at work, or pluck at things that are just unimportant.

I'm also reworking my schedule to get my workouts in, which I love to do, so I do fit them in..... you know what is sad?  The fact that the days are getting so short and the sun is setting a bit after 7.  Sigh.  But can't do anything to stop the rhythms of nature.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, er, garden-- there is a huge bounty of veggies that are bursting out of the fence practically.  We all need to join hands and send out massive wishes that it does not frost before this weekend, as some of us have no energy to do anything with garden produce during the week.  The tomatoes are doing really well, and it is tricky to get them off the vine a bit ripe, but before the slugs decide to descend on them.

Veering off into another direction here-  because I am easily distracted and I need to write this to release it.

So an "interesting" thing that I have noticed.  I really think lately that I have been losing a bit of my joy.  I have been involved in a few minor little situations where people took my words or actions in a negative way.  Which made me recently have a moment of thinking that perhaps I am not as nice as I think I am.  Maybe I am turning into a cranky person, who is intolerant of anything but what I want to do myself....  I seriously had this conversation with myself.  **eyeroll** That is because I am so non-confrontational I immediately blame myself when I am involved in a disagreement--- and of course there are always 2 sides to every story.

And for your viewing pleasure, sunset number 2!

I am not writing this to talk about whether or not I am right or wrong or nice or crabby...  What I do want to say is that somewhere along the line, I lost sight of the important things.  I recently listened to a podcast that discussed the comforts of rituals, which basically are methods of deep self care and I realized that I had dropped most of mine.  And I am a person who needs ritual, and routine and habits because most of my day is not routine at all.  I am sensitive to the emotions of the people around me and always ready to listen to my kids talk about their day and their life, so I need to take  time to ground myself.

Anyway, if you have gotten this far into this particular blogpost, thanks for sticking with it.  I know everyone has crap that happens in their life, but this little combination of things brought into focus that I need to pull myself back onto my joyful path.  And whatever that path is, I will be myself.  Sometimes, that person is someone who is not agreeable and pliable and cooperative.  And there are some in this world who need to know that even if my face shows every inward groan or grimace it doesn't mean that I won't do what needs to be done.  I just really resent the idea that I am not "allowed" to disagree.  Because I will.  But I prefer to find my joy.

I guess my take away here is to really be aware of what and WHO is causing these little events in life.  Some of these peeps are seriously not worth my time, and though I can be a teensy bit obsessive about things, I can set those aside.  Others- well, those others will find out that they may not dictate how I react or feel.  I will be myself, even if it doesn't fit into a nice little mold of who they think the Mad-Art teacher is..... because as we all know art teachers are messy and spill out of molds ALL. THE. TIME.  And you just never know where that color is going to land and who it will splash onto-- and they will enjoy it in spite of themselves, because that is just how I roll.  ;)

Have a LOVELY Tuesday, I hope you can enjoy these waning days of summer that are quickly turning to fall.  Except of course if you live in the warmer climes, then enjoy your continuing summer.  Which if you are still in the 80's that is swimming weather and get yo' self outside and have fun. While we up here pray to the weather gods that it doesn't frost up here in the Northwoods- we still have an awful lot of green tomatoes.  However  you do it, even if it bugs the crap out of some people in your life, find your joy today and stay true to you!  <3

6 days away now

As a strange calm falls over the Mad-Art teacher.....  yes, this is setting the stage for some uncharted territory, here.  My previous big adventures have found me reacting in a similar way: running around to different places shopping for necessities that are not usually part of my daily life,  spinning my wheels, moving things around and making lists and not actually accomplishing a whole lot, feeling anxious and nervous and not sleeping well/at all....  Well, I have already reached all of these pinnacles of self-induced hysteria- so now what?

So much beauty here on Madeline Island

There were 2 other time that caused my similar reactions: My boundary waters trip and my Denver trip.  You would think I would have done this for the band and choir excursions that I went on when the kids were in High School, but I did not.  Probably because I had a minimum of one other person to be concerned about, or more likely, these were not quite so far out of my comfort zone.

The Boundary Waters involved camping and things I hadn't done since I was a kid.  It also was something that I never EVER saw myself doing, in my wildest dreams.  At that time I was doing that cliché "discover myself" sort of thing after losing some weight and gaining my present fitness level.  Cliché or not, it was a life changing period of time: I discovered the real person inside me was not afraid of everything, and more importantly, it was discovering that I can do what I want in spite of being afraid.

Had the beach to ourselves 

Denver was flying for the first time and making sure I could navigate life without getting totally lost (and you can read that as on whatever sort of level you would like).  Flying is something I do like!  And getting lost is par for my course, so fortunately I will be with a lot of people and most importantly: that international calling plan.  Haha.  Hello, cute tour director, Daniele??  This is Debi.  Again.  Can you help me find my way back to the hotel?  Again.  Could happen!  We will not discuss whether or not wine was involved.

Anyway, both trips have found me similarly affected but this time I went through the whole thing a week in advance.  I think it was because school was keeping me from dealing with most of the things I wanted to do/buy/think about and once it was done- Bam!   Uncontrolled mental chaos and panic.
And pretrip freaking out, which I am super good at.

Rocks and trees

So here I am today, feeling like I pretty much have things under control!  It is the FIRST day since school has finished that I have NOT had plans for the day.  I have a few ideas for what I want to do today, but nothing is set in stone.  Sort of like my actual first day of summer vacation has finally arrived.  The things left on my list are few- one I have to get clear plastic bags for my carry on, not green tinted and set up my little kindle thingy and download some books.  And talk to my sister, who just finished school and is behind me in the whole whattheheckdoIneedandwheredoIbuyit point in preparations.  She has the luxury of living in an area that actually HAS these things and doesn't have to Prime everything.  But still, I know that feeling.

I was hoping to get out into my kayak sometime in the next couple days.  Today does not look likely, it is super humid here- foggy even, and the weather will be a bit unsettled again.  I am hoping for tomorrow!  It has been a couple weeks and I really want to get out there.  It might have to wait though.  Otherwise, I am going to lay out the clothes I am going to wear, finish up odds and ends here and there, and generally organize a few things.  And just enjoy a day of doing what I want.

We all stand like this on the ferry- enthralled and absorbed 

Speaking of that, I did sit and edit some Madeline Island photos last night while watching a Netflix show- Person of Interest.  Well that is a good series!  And I didn't get much editing done as you don't just listen to that particular program.  You have to give it some attention!

Anyway, I suppose I should be getting on with my morning here.  Whatever that morning brings will be fine.  As long as I can find some joy in the mix!  And you need to as well!  :)

Last night's sunset

*no art in Italy today as I got myself lost in reliving the Boundary Waters.  

Ohmyohmyohmyohmy

Jumbled head
Racing thoughts
so many lists--

make presentation

get glasses checked

go to bank

call cc company

talk to phone provider

get horse feed

weed flower gardens

donations to thrift shop

check how to preserve shiitake mushrooms

set up little kindle

download books

order a backpack and lock and neck pillow

get a few more little things from somewhere! 

pack

sleep

don't forget your passport

don't forget ANYTHING

get a windbreaker

find your swimsuit

find some walking sandals

calm ones self soon....

S  L  E  E  P

NOT an easy morning to be me.  I am driving myself crazy.  Fortunately taking the time to do this post has helped.  goodness.

A little Mad Update!

It has been almost a month and what the heck is going on here??  Lol, I have been sort of busy with stuff, and here is a small rundown.

Lola really took this all like a trouper! Other of us, not so much.

 First of all- the play is done and also so is the 3rd quarter.... this sort of speaks for itself I think.

Next- Spring break happened, as did Easter.  As did some doofus kid in the HS (who is lucky I don't remember who they are) sneezed in my general direction and was SICK for the entirety of spring break.  Not like deadly sick after Sunday/Monday but still.  GEEZ.

I was recovered enough Tuesday to go visit the Janesville Oswalds, though I was a little out of it most of the time.  Oh well.  Got to do some Easter egg dyeing and went to the library and the Discovery center and some things like that.  That was pretty enjoyable!  :)

Got to see the Park Falls Oswalds on Easter when they came over to have supper on that Sunday.  SO much fun to see all of them.  Grandchildren are the best, people!!

I may or may not have indicated that I have acquired a new camera/lenses and to go with that new photo editing software.....  And man have I got a lot of learning to do....  These days you will find me glued to my computer screen going through Lightroom editing videos.  It is so different than Aperture, which is what I was using before.  And I have to figure out a way to get my pictures from one computer to another.... its all so damn complicated and I am far from being a computer newbie.  UGH.  Good thing I have a friend who has helped me a little figure this stuff out, now I owe him some honey.  And probably a portion of my soul or something.  hehe

The melting ice at the boat landing....  hurry UP already

Anywho, I've been only able to get out for limited amounts of picture taking since the weather has been decidedly uncooperative these days.  But that is sort of no excuse, but really at this time of the year, no one wants to see shot after shot after shot of grey clouds.  Least of all this sunshiney person.  So I am slowly beginning to reload my RAW files from my SD cards into my new computer and will begin reprocessing. All this sounds like first world problems, I know, but the struggle is real.  HA!!!

A maple tap sap drip!

Let's see what else.... oh.  I am getting to that time during tax season where I am sick of being alone.  This is all exacerbated by the fact that I can't be kayaking.....  I have a super long lens JUST FOR THIS PURPOSE of getting the birds on the water in the early spring and things are not cooperating.  Le sigh.  Anyway, as much as I LOVE my alone time, I'm over this whole thing.  I still do not fully understand why tax season continues until April 18 this year, so another weekend of no interruptions and quiet in the house and.... so what is the issue here??  HAHA  Sorry honey.  Seriously though, it will be nice to do something like have a driver for my photography addiction.

Speaking of addiction- If I don't get up to Bayfield soon, I am going to run away from home.  Lol.  I need Coco's, Madeline Island and The Bigwater Coffee shop asap, with some hiking thrown in for good measure.  Like- gotta go soon!!!  The lake is calling me.

Anyway, that is all for this update.  I might have a photo post in me later... but for now I have to go do a few more things before I go out for lunch.  Which is a good part of Tax Season- out for lunch!  :)

This week the temperature is sure to be going up and you WILL find me in my kayak by the weekend.  And that will bring me a lot of joy!

And suddenly we are well into December

I can't believe it's already the 8th of December- 

Well, I guess I can, I have been occupied with a lot of things since mid-November when last we blogged!  Thanksgiving was quite active, shall we say- company, shopping, more company, deer  hunters, grandchildren.....  it was mostly super great!

I did manage to get sick from a certain granddaughter shoving her little fingers into my mouth at one point on Thanksgiving, but oh well.  Small price to pay for having her up here for 4 days!

I am feeling a bit disconnected lately, haven't had much time to go for photo shoots and I am really missing it.  It is something that is part of my joy, and I have to find this again.

Ironically, one thing that kept me from doing a lot of it over the weekend was the fact that I spent hours working on my photography calendars!  I will say between my internet upgrade a while ago and Shutterfly web improvements, the uploading goes really very fast.  I NEED to work on these calendars before the first weekend of December......  MUST.  Every year I end up hurrying at the end to get them put together so I can get them on time plus get that top discount.  Goodness.

Yeah, you know I will be busy the first weekend of December next year.  That tends to be how I roll.

Otherwise, I am ready for winter to really arrive and give us some snow, and ICE.  I am getting a little concerned that Lake Superior isn't going to be frozen enough to support the Book Across the Bay in 2 months, and I really would love to start snowshoeing.  I was doing that last year at this time, which partially explains the lack of photography.  Taking pix of the same thing with no/little snow is sort of boring.  sigh.

Anyway, I need to get going on my day- this has to be the least inspiring/newworthy/photography filled update I have ever done!  HA  But I needed to do this to get rolling again.  I have a few ideas in process, but didn't have enough time to work it through.  Hope you all have a lovely Dec. 8!

Avoid those joy stealers/energy vampires that stalk you today- don't let them take your joy.  Joy givers UNITE!  ;) 

Long weekend coming up

Memorial Day weekend is about to arrive, as is graduation and a whole host of other things that goes with it.  I am feeling a tad bit unsettled this Friday morning.

First I have to say that these last few weeks of school are tough on everyone involved.  I saw some sort of twitter post that said something about #100daysofMay and wow that can't be more true.  This past week has been going SO slow.  Today is awards day, the seniors are done- they checked out yesterday. (Some of them checked out about 2 weeks ago, but I digress) Anyway, I have company in the area tomorrow so I am not positive what I will be doing about graduation.  Certainly I will be sending cards out, but I don't think that parties are in the plans.  Parties are such a minefield these days, you will find most of the Chequamegon teachers NOT attending.

So my Mad-Middle son and his lovely family will be up here and staying out at their house.  That is so awesome for them, lots of projects will be in the works, but unfortunately I won't be seeing them as much as I might.  Of course Grandma (and mom) are being very selfish and is mourning the loss of early morning baby and doggie time.  It might be hard to hit that perfect mix of visiting frequently but not being a pest.  :)

I kayaked again last night and found a very disturbing fact- I can't get that kayak on top of my car myself.  I also have to search for some sort of a rack that will hold it on it's side so it doesn't crush my antennae.  Of course is was pointed out to me by a couple of people that I could push it in the back of the car........  sometimes I amaze myself with the fact that I don't always see the easy way to do things.  Like ever.

And along those lines, I should probably have skipped the kayak last night and let my -ahemhealingcough  - arm rest a day.  But I do get caught up in excitement and REEEEEALLLLY wanted to go, and as a result I have a bit of a sore forearm and elbow today.  Ah well.  It was a great paddle.  And I will ignore the fact that it woke me up about 5 times last night.

So my plan tonight is to either bike ride or weed my flower garden.  I might try to get both in actually.  Guess I will have to see what the evening brings.

Writing out these thoughts has helped me pinpoint my little anxieties this morning.  One I know is there is that I will spend the whole weekend alone while everyone else is out doing fun things.  I know that is totally unreasonable and actually untrue.  But that is where my brain is at today.  Sometimes my thought process is a real nuisance.  I really do need summer vacation asap.

Hope your day is looking great and you have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend everyone!  Go out there and be the a joy-giver!

Tired....

I don't post late night very often, but I haven't been getting in my quiet time in the morning lately, so this is the best I can do for now.

Lola was sad this morning

I'm tired and you know what??  I think I am losing my voice.  This is not going to be good.

I talked ALL day long:  I had a new presentation to give to all three hours of High School art, lasting each at least 30 minutes.  Then I had to circulate and answer questions, and all that good stuff. After a quick lunch,  my first graders had a tell and do lesson, where I told them what to draw and paint and then they do it.  Color mixing at it's first grade finest!  Which means I talked the whole hour, then the 4th and 5th graders had a 2 part lesson today- which of course means Mrs. Oswald  talked at least 2/3 of the day.  Add in a little nasal involvement and you have the recipe for some soft and deep vocal ranges.  Now if I had stopped talking right away upon discovering that I was getting hoarse, things might have had a different outcome. But that couldn't happen.

I see you! The origami eye project the 4th and 5th grade did today

So, everyone in the morning should be fairly ready to work, and I will only have kindergarten and 2nd grade to concern myself with.

IN other news, I have one more Dr. appointment for my arm on Thursday.  It is a little concerning to me because of the fatigue and crackling that is happening in my elbowage area.  When I was folding my nifty little origami eyes that the 4th and 5th graders have/will be making, there was all sort of weird things happening in there.  Fortunately, the pain has subsided, but there is definite lack of normalcy.

We had snow here the other day, which I sort of refuse to acknowledge, other than the fact it is good that we are getting a little precip.  Don't need any fires now, do we?

So yeah, that is all I have for now.  Now that I have been doing more blog posts, it feels like I should update more often!

And so here it is!  :)

Hope you all can find your joy tomorrow, after a really good nights' sleep!  ;)

Mid-autumn update

Don't you think that I would have written in this blog since the middle of September??  I tell ya, its been hopping in my life as of late.  And man, I'm tired.

Old Maple tree

The last several weeks have been a blur of stuff.

School:  I am not sure how or why, but I have been feeling like I've been doing so much prep work for my classes this year, have been staying late and arriving earlier than last year and STILL I feel like I have been falling a tiny bit more behind every day.  I have a stack of ungraded artwork sitting on my desk from 2 weeks ago!  EEEEK.  The middle of the quarter has come and gone and progress reports have been posted. NOW I have 35 or so PLPs to fill out (personal learning plans for the freshman and sophomores).  Wut??  Art is in one display case at least, and thanks to my awesome work-study girl some is in the elementary, too.  I went on a field trip, have another one with the advanced English students coming up, and have managed to flip a classroom and work cooperatively on a unit.  Oy.

Family:  I had company last weekend!  The mad sons and Sarahs and my grand kiddos were  up here for a visit. It was WONDERFUL.  The babies are getting so big!

Going for a walk!

SO BIG

Fitness: People, my gym closed.  :(  This has made for a sad SAD Debi.  I have a kettlebell ordered and I have been walking for MILES and I am hoping for the best as far as a facility being available again in the next year or so.  Maybe the school gym??  Idk.  Like I said hoping for the best.  But there is always body weight exercises and I will be getting out of town soon for shopping, so more weights may be in my future for home.  Oh life, you can be a meanie sometimes.

Friends:  I have awesome friends. There is always someone who will listen to me and like me in spite of my ranting and whining!  :)  You all rock!  I've had a person or two reemerge from the past and that has been delightful.  People sort of step in and out of your life, and it is interesting to see how things have changed when someone reconnects.  It makes me smile.

I am not sure why we didn't get little Greggy and  Ella together for a photo! 

Personally:  I've been working on some stuff, and I have found a lot of peace in my life.  Though I get cranky when I am tired and stressed out from allllll the school stuff and the emotional rollercoaster one goes through when one teaches children.... I still have found ways of coping with these things that encourage peace and acceptance and love.  I am happy knowing that what pleases me is good enough. That sounds sort of self centered and I am totally ok with that too!  It's been a wonderful journey that I have traveled the last 6 months.  Life is indeed as good as you perceive it!

Home- I have been doing some garden preservation things: read freezing food and stuff.  Also included is some fall planting, a little garden maintenance and soon I will have to pack up my beautiful deck full of plants and put them to bed.  It has been cold lately and it is almost time.  Of course with company comes cleaning and groceries and cooking....  sigh.  But we get done the things that are important and anything else is just fine.

Mr. Photo bomber

Greggy on the little bed that Grandpa made for the little ones

I'm sure that I am missing something, but I can't think what.  Maybe the occasional trips to Bayfield that are part of the fall must dos, or the renewal of my reading habit, or sometimes I have to zone out and watch the Big Bang Theory or Project Runway alllllll evening and go to bed with absolutely zero guilt and zero other things accomplished.

Anyway, that is a brief summary of life since school started- at least I seem to have kicked the Lymes to the curb!  There is that!  Friday tomorrow!!!  WOO HOO!  And that's all for now- this is Miss Inspiring Joy Seeker (this is apparently my positive energy name- lol) signing off!

Hope you find the joy you are seeking!