Another school year begins

We have had the inservice, the open house, put away the supplies, fired up the coffee pot and prepared our rooms..... so we have no choice but to acknowledge that another school year is underway.

As always, it is a bittersweet event.  The summer is gone, the travels have been completed.  The photos are for the most part edited and the memories  have begun to fade a little.  The seniors have gone on to other things, the new freshmen are worried and there are new students who are going to try to find a place to fit in and be.

A few new teachers, who are also trying to figure out how they are going to fit into our crazy world, have begun their tenure at CHS.  As well as a new superintendent and high school receptionist, there will be new babies coming for some staff and retirements for others at the end of the year.

Myself, I have none of these milestones on the horizon- just the brand new schedule, the brand new students, even bigger classes in the elementary school and at least a little more time down there to prepare for them.  Not a lot but slightly more.  I will desperately miss a few of my missing kids, and am so eternally grateful for some who go over and above for me.  

It will be different in the winter when I no longer am an active team member of the musical.  I will give guidance if necessary, but I just can't do it again.  It makes me so sad in some ways and is a giant relief in others.  There are lots of other things to keep me occupied.

This year though, I have decided to embrace the changing instead of fighting it- I have a big evaluation year coming for my teaching that will hopefully be my last eval.  Those are no fun, people.  I want to stay a step ahead of all that paper work instead of playing catchup all the time.  That sort of data keeping sucks my soul dry; it is not me, it makes me panic and shuts me down.  I may be rolling my eyes and clenching my jaw, but with a little preparation and meditation I will get through it.  Along with the help of a couple of my friends. 

So here comes fall- BRING IT ON. Winter is next, come on- I'm ready.  The insanity of spring in the schools- I've done it before and I will do it again, and it won't kill me.  I have too much to do when it becomes summer again.

 Summer is for photography and kayaking and travels and joy.  And it will be here before I know it.

A whole pile of random things...

So I sort of have lots and nothing much to say.....  this is my mood these days.  Which is mostly just fine with me.  Those who need to know my stuff do- and those who don't, well, don't.

First off, I recently purchased an AMAZING wide angle lens for my camera. (Insert happy dancing here)  And I do mean amazing.  It is the lens I have wanted my whole life and didn't know it.  I will be using it for cloud pix and landscapes mostly, and already, it is so incredibly satisfying.  It ticks off so many many of my photography needs....  I could soliloquize for days, but I won't.  But look!  LOOK at those pictures!!! It really bothers me that I didn't have it for my Bayfield trip.  I had ordered with what I thought was plenty of time, but the order got hung up in processing.  Um- wut?  If I didn't know that lens was going to be amazing for me I would have canceled.  I'm glad I didn't though- so very glad.  But what is up with that Canon???  HMMMM???

This was a really good weekend for the most part, I got a lot of little things done- plus finished one book and polished off a collection of short stories.  GOOD STUFF PEOPLE!!

The short story collection especially was excellent- called Drown by Junot Diaz.  A group of 10 stories about different members of a family based in the Dominican Republic and in the US.  Some brutal stuff, but quite compelling.  One of my favorite books in this genre!   The favorite other short story collection that I always recommend is Interpreters of the Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri - both worth picking up and reading.

Old house with a bit of mystique

In other news it has been cold and tomorrow will be warm and then it will get cold and I want daffodils.  The warm weather has pushed me into premature daffodil longing- I try not to think about it too much before the end of March, but here I am- wanting some.  I've had a couple photos sent my way by people that understand- - -  I will take more of those!!!!  :)    Pictures will do until I can either pick some or procure them in another way.  

The MA has been busy busy this month, as you all mostly know.  He sort of hit the ground running very early in January and has been in the office every day since.  LONG days....  So when he gets here we do chit chat a bit.  The man is getting even funnier these days- I feel like I should get a book and record the things he has been saying, sort of like what you want to do for your kids or the students at school.  Because you know you are never going to remember them in an hour.  The last thing he said a couple days ago- and maybe it is funnier to me than any one else when we were discussing the lengths that people go to maintain their accountant.  The miles they drive, the things they do.....  he tells me: No one wants to tell the new guy about their life.  Which like I said, sent me into fits of giggles, but other people may not get it??  No?  Oh well.  Anyway, he sleeps a lot in front of the tv after he finishes supper.

LOOK at that smooshy, kissable face

Not me though, the more I do at school the less likely I am to sleep.  It is just a wonderful thing being awake for the 4th time at 11:30 pm- said no one ever.  So I slept a lot (I got laughed at when I said I slept "in" until 6:30, but that IS sleeping in for me!) this weekend, as I really was able to relax.

As you may or may not know, tis the play time of the year and the Chequamegon school is putting on The Music Man- you know- 76 trombones and all that.  Lots of fun- silly, catchy songs.  Plenty of scenery to paint.  And my initial massive group of enthusiastic volunteers has dwindled a bit.  But such is the life of the Mad-Art teacher!  We will be fine, the troops will rally.

Last month's visit with the grandgirlies

It has been intense at school, though.  Many students have a hard time in the middle of the year like this- the winter, the school work, the rare days off and the stresses of families seem to add up to a lot of kids in distress.  Seniors are focused on finishing strong, junior are worried about imminent ACT tests, sophomores are sort of lost and freshmen still- as a group- are pretty clueless. But warmer, longer days are coming- and we will make it. As I said in my last post, this snow day could not have come at a better time.  We needed this unexpected mental health day.

I still have more artwork to get into the hallways, I need to do my high school progress reports and I shall be needing to get to looking at art work for the upcoming art show as well.  So there will be no easing up in the foreseeable future.  But that just makes the week go fast, so thats ok.

Lots of things coming up, lots of things to make the day go by fast.  I've said frequently the last few weeks that I would love to discover a worm hole and a perpendicular universe so I could come to school- get into that time warp and clean both of my rooms- then come out of it and teach school.  In a tidy art environment.  That would be great- someone needs to hook me up with that - K?  Anyone?

So, I am feeling like I need to get out a book and read and relax and get myself to bed here soon.  I hope all of you have a great productive week and if I find someone who can direct me to the nearest 4th dimension, I will let you know so you can get everything done you need to do, too!  I'm helpful like that!  And I send you a week full of joy as well.

Finding my joy, a sunset, and green tomatoes

Beginning a new school year always presents some challenges, but over all this one has been going pretty well.  I have huge High School classes, but they are a really great group over all.  We have (as a staff) been intervening immediately on some children who need a little extra attention- so the usual has had a little extra added to it.  But that is ok, if we can help a student be successful, it's worth all the extra time.

Here is the sunset promised in the Title!  Lol random I know.

There have been some changes as there always is and I will just say the biggest change at school seems to be a very positive one.  I hold off judgement until later in the school year, but so far so good.  I don't mean to sound vague, but as you can imagine, one doesn't want to divulge information that should be kept at work, or pluck at things that are just unimportant.

I'm also reworking my schedule to get my workouts in, which I love to do, so I do fit them in..... you know what is sad?  The fact that the days are getting so short and the sun is setting a bit after 7.  Sigh.  But can't do anything to stop the rhythms of nature.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, er, garden-- there is a huge bounty of veggies that are bursting out of the fence practically.  We all need to join hands and send out massive wishes that it does not frost before this weekend, as some of us have no energy to do anything with garden produce during the week.  The tomatoes are doing really well, and it is tricky to get them off the vine a bit ripe, but before the slugs decide to descend on them.

Veering off into another direction here-  because I am easily distracted and I need to write this to release it.

So an "interesting" thing that I have noticed.  I really think lately that I have been losing a bit of my joy.  I have been involved in a few minor little situations where people took my words or actions in a negative way.  Which made me recently have a moment of thinking that perhaps I am not as nice as I think I am.  Maybe I am turning into a cranky person, who is intolerant of anything but what I want to do myself....  I seriously had this conversation with myself.  **eyeroll** That is because I am so non-confrontational I immediately blame myself when I am involved in a disagreement--- and of course there are always 2 sides to every story.

And for your viewing pleasure, sunset number 2!

I am not writing this to talk about whether or not I am right or wrong or nice or crabby...  What I do want to say is that somewhere along the line, I lost sight of the important things.  I recently listened to a podcast that discussed the comforts of rituals, which basically are methods of deep self care and I realized that I had dropped most of mine.  And I am a person who needs ritual, and routine and habits because most of my day is not routine at all.  I am sensitive to the emotions of the people around me and always ready to listen to my kids talk about their day and their life, so I need to take  time to ground myself.

Anyway, if you have gotten this far into this particular blogpost, thanks for sticking with it.  I know everyone has crap that happens in their life, but this little combination of things brought into focus that I need to pull myself back onto my joyful path.  And whatever that path is, I will be myself.  Sometimes, that person is someone who is not agreeable and pliable and cooperative.  And there are some in this world who need to know that even if my face shows every inward groan or grimace it doesn't mean that I won't do what needs to be done.  I just really resent the idea that I am not "allowed" to disagree.  Because I will.  But I prefer to find my joy.

I guess my take away here is to really be aware of what and WHO is causing these little events in life.  Some of these peeps are seriously not worth my time, and though I can be a teensy bit obsessive about things, I can set those aside.  Others- well, those others will find out that they may not dictate how I react or feel.  I will be myself, even if it doesn't fit into a nice little mold of who they think the Mad-Art teacher is..... because as we all know art teachers are messy and spill out of molds ALL. THE. TIME.  And you just never know where that color is going to land and who it will splash onto-- and they will enjoy it in spite of themselves, because that is just how I roll.  ;)

Have a LOVELY Tuesday, I hope you can enjoy these waning days of summer that are quickly turning to fall.  Except of course if you live in the warmer climes, then enjoy your continuing summer.  Which if you are still in the 80's that is swimming weather and get yo' self outside and have fun. While we up here pray to the weather gods that it doesn't frost up here in the Northwoods- we still have an awful lot of green tomatoes.  However  you do it, even if it bugs the crap out of some people in your life, find your joy today and stay true to you!  <3

Back to it

New beginnings- a new year to come.  A friend of mine said she felt like this is way more like "New Year" than Jan. 1 and I definitely agree.  In January nothing changes, really, but today, everything does.  

We all teach, but there are new kids, new classes, new dynamics.  If you are like me, there are new lessons and ideas,  new co-workers in some cases.  As a rule this is good, unless, like me this morning you roll over, look at the time, get up and literally as you SIT UP you remember something you did NOT do yesterday.  sigh.  So I will be leaving for work slightly early.  I should have time to make up this presentation, as I don't have to have it until this afternoon.  It would have helped to look at my to do list, but I relied on my "memory".  Oy.

Anyway, I met some interesting and enthusiastic new 9th graders yesterday.... lets just say that there are some kids that are going to fit nicely into my art department.  Cute- it is all just so cute.  I also got several enthusiastic hugs in the hall - which I totally love as well.

So, I don't want to spend too much time here this morning, as I have to get myself up and going and get ready and the MA always wants to take my picture by the door like we did for the kids when they were growing up.  He's such a maniac sometimes. Lol.

I am really tired this morning, we had open house last night until 7:30- in retrospect, perhaps having a day in between may have been a good idea- which is what we used to do.  The calendar really should be determined by the people who live it.....  and I will leave that idea laying there by itself.

So, my next cup of coffee is calling, and I have my clothes ready for me, and it is going to be a beautiful day.  New beginnings.

And from where I am standing, it is the start of a joyful new year!

HEY! New school year!---- you're on deck

Holy smokes I am exhausted right now...  It isn't so much the fact that I hauled myself out of bed indeed before 5 am (because I am crazy, that is why) but the fact that I ended up with 2 kayak sessions yesterday for a grand total of 9.3 miles or something to that effect....

Clouds began to breakup and the sun did indeed come out!

While I am certainly capable of going 9 plus miles in a kayak, I had also done a nice little weight lifting session on Saturday and concentrated on my shoulders, abs and arms. So, yeah, I feel MY triceps this morning.  And when I do fairly heavy workouts like that, I do not sleep well.  Because I wake up all the time and rearrange myself and fall fitfully back to sleep and then rinse and repeat.  I believe I got up at 1:30 and took ibu- evidence left on the kitchen counter points to that conclusion.  Lol.

This blue heron proved to be a little sneaky, but Lisa spotted him in a tree

It was a GORGEOUS day for kayaking though.  Both times!  I went on Butternut Lake with the Mad-Lisa friend in the morning.  We didn't see the eagle, as per usual, in the tree of choice- but we did scare up a blue heron and then followed the thing over to the other side of the lake.  And we founded him!!  YAY!  While there were a lot of fishing boats on the lake, it was pretty peaceful and nice.  Perfect temps, only light breezes- water therapy at its best.

The clouds were quite amazing- I was wishing for my wide-angle lens

Last night, the MA sprung it on me that he wanted to kayak with me--- so I am INCAPABLE of saying no to that, so off we went to Smith Lake.  I found some ducks and a loon and some fishermen- but only one boat full.  It was super nice last night and the river was like glass.  And then we got back in time to FaceTime with the Mad-Oldest son and his lovely family.  With those two girls, that can be quite the entertaining event.  Ava is starting to crawl around and Ella gets increasingly silly as she gets more tired....  It is quite enjoyable.  hehehe

Young mergansers

Anyway, I do realize the post title says something about school- so yeah, we have full-fledged, sitting-all-day, summer-ending meetings..... today and tomorrow.  And then there is Open House on Wednesday with school beginning on Sept.1.  I've just resigned myself to the meetings, as they must be morally obligated to "improving our teaching" or some such thing.  There is a session this morning that seems will be pertinent and sometime in the next 2 days I get to collaborate on curriculum with my compadre from the Glidden school- so there is that!!  I just hope that I have enough breathing room to keep working on my lesson plans.  I used to be able to have a semester worth of plans ready- but that was when I only taught elementary school.  So I retain that panic of not having more than the first 3 weeks pencilled in.  Though I know that is ridiculous and no one has a whole semester ready, unless they do the same thing all the time.  Which I am incapable of doing.  Which reminds me, I have a brand new first day of art for the elementary school in the works (I always love finding new stuff like this) and I have a HUGE amount of paper cutting that needs to be done- any volunteers???  Lol, just asking'!

This guy showed up unexpectedly right in front of me!  The light last night was lovely

Hey, when did it occur that it is so dark at 5am??  I know that there are clouds and an impending Thunderstorm, but wth is with that??  I think I am in seasonal denial.

A pair of fishermen were spotted- I have other photos- I just found this one interesting how the people pop out and the rest is sort of hazy-- and I see its a touch crooked.  oops.

Anyway, I have to finish this up and go do a few things- at least I do not have to dress up today.  That will be coming soon enough!

So, make this day a joyful one.  I, for one, will be avoiding the joy-stealers that lurk about the area.... I am going to make the best of the day if I possibly can.  Happy Monday!

And summer comes screeching to an end....

I feel very torn today, and if you aren't a teacher, you won't really get it - on a cellular level.  It is the struggle between your summer self, your relaxed happy, unchallenged, adventure seeking self and the self that is fulfilled by the profession- seeing very excited children, hearing about their great and not so great summer lives....  and starting a new year of challenges and rewards.

Each year there is a new crop of scared- frightened kindergarteners starting school and leaving the safety of their moms, dads or daycare....  Frightened 4th graders coming to our Park Falls Elementary campus.... Frightened freshmen who are worried about what is coming during this week/year and truly frightened (though they don't admit it) seniors who are wondering how the heck this is all coming to an end, and what will I do when the year is done and who will protect me then?  They don't all know they are feeling this, or they won't admit it, but I've seen it!  They are all deer in the headlights.

We, as a high school staff, are finally stable.  No new staff members that I can think of right now.  A few room shifts, but overall, we are FINALLY able to be consistent.  It has been hard on all of us to have the turnover that we have had.

We, as an elementary staff, are facing changes again.  A few new teachers, many new staffing assignments, a new principal.... this will be challenging, as things are when they are in flux.  But good things should result, change almost always has unexpected silver linings and I am going with that, in my usual positive way.

The kids need us and most of us teachers thrive in this environment- the kids  are really the only thing that count.  All the rest of it is sort of gets in the way of us getting these kids to the next step in their life.  Many think how we do it is so important, but really, giving our days and our hearts and our time to them is the most important thing. I don't teach children art, I use art to teach the kids.  BIG difference.

Anyway, I had planned to garden and blog and relax and somehow I ended up cleaning out under my sink and painting it?????  WHAT??? WHO AM I????  Well, at least I am doing a quick blogpost to get at least one thing done.  And you will notice I am not at school, I spent plenty of time there the last week or so, so I will stay here and snivel and mope.

BUT I have plans for next summer already, so this is so exciting.  And you can bet it is involving an airplane flight, because I LOVE airplane rides!!  More on that as time goes on.

Those thoughts of joyful summers ahead, bracketed by my joys in teaching drive me from one part of my year to the next.  Hold onto your hats, everyone, the school year is about to begin.

Half way through

Progress reports are due this morning- which means we are half way through the first quarter already.  If this is any indication of the school year, I will be out kayaking next week sometime. Wowza.

Homecoming is over, and now we are looking forward to the quarter being done by the end of the month. Whoa.  AND it is actually time for me to start working with the littlest kids on their absolute favorite project of the year and that would be the Haunted House book with the scraffito picture- yes Halloween pictures already.  If any of you had me for art, you know what I mean- or ask your children. I have a cult following. Lol.  I'll post a link for that book someday.  It is a pop up book and if I had to replace it, it would cost something ridiculous like $50.

I do wish that my art teacher convention was on actual Halloween weekend like it typically is, but no.  Lol.  I do get to hang out with the other (new) art teacher at convention this year, which is so awesome.  This has never happened before.  No one has ever gone to convention with me.  It will be nice to have some time to discuss teaching things with an actual art teacher type colleague person! YAY

Anyway, I better go get ready for school.  I have a bunch of stuff to do, as per usual.  Including nabbing a bunch of leaves for the kinderkids for their printing project today!  And that is just one of the many oddball things I do each year.  I wouldn't have it any other way.....  it does give me joy.

And a week later....

I had absolutely planned to blog about my first week of school before this- this is pretty typical of most of my life.  I had PLANNED to do such and such, but then something else came up and off I went.

In my case, the weather was hot and humid over the weekend, and having no air causes me to lay like a noodle off and on through the day, under the ceiling fan, and not get too much done, other than in fits and starts.   Then Monday, when it was nice, I was off on a tear, trying to get as much done as I could..... followed by a couple hours in Debi's Sunshine aka the kayak.  I still have some photo editing to do, but that's ok.  Last night I, again,  had thought about blogging, but I took off for an early evening walk, and then got distracted ie: I flung myself down willfully on the couch after 8:30 and barely moved for a while.  Tuesday is a long day, and this one was long and enjoyable, but I was tired nonetheless.  I'm thrilled to say that I slept well and am looking forward to Wednesday.

Labor Day weekend kept me busier than I anticipated.  I went to a wedding reception on Saturday, which was lovely, then a Labor Day party thing on Sunday, which was fine- albeit a bit annoying after a while, but still.  I cooked spontaneously for the Mad-Middle son and his lovely Sarah and my sweet little Grandboy.  And like I said, I got to kayak!  :)

The first week of school was fine, active and noisy, but the kids are excited and things are good in that regard.  Things at both school seem to be going fairly smoothly, so far- so good!  In some ways it seems almost like we never left, but in other ways there are huge changes in personnel so its all changed.  That is just how life seems to go, and people seem to have settled into it.

So on this little bit sleepy morning, I wish you a happy Wednesday!  I have another post begun in my mind, but I do not have the energy to write it today.  :)  So general and random it is!  And I'll throw a couple IPhone photos in for good measure.

Be a joy giver today my friends, someone might need some of yours!

End of the first day

I looked at the clock just now that was so surprised that it wasn't 10:00.  It feels like 10, I am tired enough for it to be 10- I forget how much this first day takes out of us.

My throat is still sort of sore and my feet are fortunately not hurting anymore.  I feel like I went on a 7 mile walk!  While talking or something.  I agree with my friend the Mad-Science teacher: it feels like we never left.

I had my first day lecture going for a full 6 hours today.  Tuesday is one of my longest days and it is sort of brutal.  I began with hall duty (yippee, that is just fantastic... ), put in 45 min of talking for 2 hours in a row, ran to the elem. to prep down there, went back for the last high school class, zipped around to check on the status of a work study student, ate lunch and then had 3 hours of back to back little kids.  About 2 pm my voice started breaking down. It did hold up, though, so this is good.  My reprieve tomorrow is that I have a prep time in the elementary for an hour, so my voice will get a break.  I have to introduce new projects in the high school so there is no rest for the proverbial wicked.

I realize I have to read some article for the staff meeting tomorrow, fill out a survey for the superintendent,  plus I  was working on my lesson plans and my corresponding blog posts on my other two blogs (how do you people find those things??) and I could have gone to bed at 8!  But I got finished what I needed to, and that is a great feeling.  PLUS I know what I am wearing tomorrow and what I am having for lunch!  Winner winner!!

I posted a facebook status that said something about having had a great day at school, as well as one this morning that talked about starting the day with a picture by the door like the boys used to.  I got some super awesome messages from former students.  It is so gratifying to know that I made a difference in their lives.  They have no idea how meaningful those messages are.

I only fantasized about being out on a body of water in my kayak a few times!  Lol. It was a good day that seems like it will continue into a good semester.  Positive attitude is the key.

And joy is what you will find when you use that key.

And So It Begins

Yep, a new school year is about to be off and running.  I flipped over the calendar, and apparently the season is about to change as well, like we all don't feel that.  It is apparent in the trees, the length of the day, the feeding frenzies that are going on outside in the animal world.

It's been an amazing summer, with virtually no regrets or wishes for more.  Well a few wishes for more, but that is life, isn't it?  It keeps things interesting and keeps a person moving forward.  Here is wishing you all a good school year, if you are involved in any way- student, teacher, parent, other sorts of school employee, sports fans, whatever!

Make it a point to be a joy-giver!  Life is just too short not to be..... 

Aaaaaaand scene....

IPhone photos- no edits- I have a boatload of pix to edit from my big camera

Today was sort of the last official day of my summer vacation. While I knew that this was coming, to stare it in the face is quite upsetting in many ways.  I understand that in order to support my summertime habits, I have to work.  And I know my sweet kiddos at school will be very excited to see me.  This is a wonderful thing, and come Sept. 1 I will actually feel this happiness again.

Today I did my final paddle of the summer.  I possibly may kayak again this weekend, and definitely this coming week, but the flavor is not going to be the same.  It won't be that "I wonder what day this is" relaxation that colored my weeks.  I kayaked with the Mad-English teacher today, fittingly enough on the Flambeau, which is where we did our very first kayak together in May.  It was a symmetrical end to a wonderful, busy, active summer- a perfect bookend.

When we finished our paddle, the statement was made: and now summer vacation is over.  It was poignant and very sad.  But I need to remember the amazing time I had this summer of 2015,  where I discovered the need to LIVE life and not whine about the freaking summer going so fast.  Live your life people, don't complain about it.  Even if you are busy, have family, etc, etc, etc, you can find time to go out and do something.  As simple as a walk or as complex and expensive as a trip.  It is better than sitting in the house.  Don't wait until the time is right, because it never will be.

This morning was chilly, in fact cold, as I was taking my canoe stuff to the truck.  I found as I loaded the canoe how much easier it is now to handle.  I noticed when I got into the kayak how much easier that seemed as well.... I am not graceful by any means- lol coughbrokenelbowsahem- and I finally feel like my balance is getting back to what it was.  I have a dry bag and have been using my DSLR on the water, which has enhanced my enjoyment and doubled the putz factor when I paddle.  I feel calmer, stronger and my joy factor has tripled.  I have seen real progress in physical and internal ways that I didn't realize could be possible.  I have lived with no. freaking. regrets.

Hanging out by DeMars bridge for a moment of rest

  Holy smokes.  

Adventures, activities, fun with many or with only one or two.  I have done so many things that I have never done before.  It was a full, fulfilling and joy-filled.

The fact is, though, that I had tears all the way home from the boat landing, which is not that far, but still.  A wonderful friend, an awesome friend, my partner in all things biking and kayaking and snowshoeing and traveling and eating awesome vegetarian foods is moving away.  It is NOT fair and it is not right but it is true.  Maybe the universe was altering the course of an extraordinary human being for some good reason, but I do humbly object.  I heard voices telling me not to cry- I'll still see him and talk to him and tweet/message/text him, but it is not the same.  Not at all.  I had a very enjoyable last day at home, but it was sprinkled with my tears.  Don't cry debi....

Amazing clouds

Alright, so facing up to this final day that was filled with allllll the feels I could possibly feel was hard. However I have to keep pushing ahead.  I need to do some things for school this weekend- as in buying a few supplies I need to start the year, including new skirt hangers for some new clothes (this is making me smile for a moment!) and other little sundry items that I need to get. So, unfortunate or not, I have to move on.  Fortunately I have another Friday and then a Monday coming that will make this transition a little easier.

Lol an ironic vandal....

The weekend is upon us tomorrow and I have a few things going on.  A little this and that and ending with a little grandboy time.  But weighing on my mind will be the changes that are happening and the school year coming up. However, if you know me at all, I will end the summer and begin the new school season with a positive attitude.  Because that is my gig and it is how I can continue in my quest to be a joy giver.

School vs.summer Debi

There is a massive battle going on in my being right now.  My school persona is starting to intrude on the summer spirit that is me.  Of course it had to happen and of course it is beginning now....  but I am not ready for it after this amazing summer.

I have friends whose children are heading back to school today (those poor things), and virtual friends who are teachers who are headed back or have gone back already (someone send them some tequila), there are all those nasty school supplies in ALLLL the stores, and it is drawing me in.  I even had to call one of my art supply companies to confirm part of my order, as I had apparently transposed a couple numbers in my frantic ordering session the day before the requisitions were due back at the end of June- imagine that!  So all that will be waiting for me as well.

I have decided (with the smallest encouragement) to do a summer redux here soon. I think it will be a nice way to really revel in the luxury of summer days that are there for the filling with all things amazing and entertaining.

The school year coming will have it's usual challenges, but it will be uniquely odd this year.  One of my best friends and favorite colleagues has moved on to another position in a different school.  It pains me more than words can say.  I can't imagine what I am going to do.  We also have another big turnover in staff at the high school.  For a variety of reasons- and that is also hard for those of us who are remaining.

I am feeling anxious and a little sad and definitely restless.  I am trying to make plans, but need to spend a day or two at home working on a couple of projects.  This is pretty typical for me to feel this so I am not too concerned, but it makes me want to run away and hide big time.  I have to work through the sad today I think.

I have no doubt that there could be some people who think I should suck it up, buttercup, but that is not very nice now is it?  Whatcha reading my blog for then??  :)

Alright, time to start the day.  Because I never know what it will bring, and so often it is a joyful thing.  Have a good day everyone

A not sunny Saturday in May...

Well, that was a bitter disappointment!  I woke up today fully expecting to see some sunshine and BAM- clouds.  BIG SIGH.  I haven't been able to get out and do biking/walking for a few days now and I am getting antsy.  I affects everything about me. I get weird and melancholy.  But that is me- and last night,  beer didn't help AT ALL.

So interesting thing I noticed:
 I had a little party to attend for a coworker on Thursday night and it was at another coworkers house.  It was a nice little casual thing and of course - a few adult beverages were served!  They make a mean Margarita there, in fact one they made with amaretto instead of triple sec!!  OH mygoodnessyum.  So one slid down really fast and then dinner and another and life was yummy and good.  Tequila makes me happy.  Or maybe it was the sun. (It was sunny Thursday, but I didn't think a bike ride after tequila was a good idea)  But at any rate, fast forward to rainy, nasty Friday and we went to Dick and Joans resort for supper.  Because why not?  I had previously made a mental note to NEVER have a margarita there (not their strong suit) and had a very yummy dark beer.  Leinies is great. However, maybe it was the rain, maybe it was the beer, but I was not the happy Debi that Thursday found at the end of it's day.  Then we ended up with a semi engaging Western movie with Pierce Brosnan that was so sad (and frankly weird) that I can't believe I sat there and watched it until almost 10:30.  Yeesh.  Westerns- yuck.  So yeah, my sad self was wide awake for a while last night.  But I did fall asleep eventually and feel great this morning.  And not sorry for myself at all!  Lol. I think I will stay with wine and tequila.

I have only one week left of school.  I had my last Friday with the elementary students and coming this week will be "last days" again.  My Thursday can be a very challenging day, and of course that is the last one as there is only a half day on Friday.  As the Mad-English teacher said, I have time to gird my loins!  Which is a saying I enjoy and will occasionally use myself, but this needed to be attributed to him!  LOL.  so so funnily true.  Send me lots of positive vibrations on Thursday everyone!

I have begun the process of cleaning my rooms, including the cupboards and my incredibly messy desks.  I find that once the school year starts I am pulled along in such a whirlwind that I don't have time to straighten anything up.  Which is why I try not to do a lot of major rearranging because during this whirlwind time I need to be able to find things quickly and not stand there and say to myself- hmmm I think I remember putting this in a better place, now where the heck was that?? You have no idea how many things I find that I needed during the school year when I am cleaning up from said school year.  Part of this is that even though they are mostly forbidden to go into my cupboards, the (high school) students will go in and rummage through for things they think they need.  Which is why I have like 4 opened bright yellow acrylic paint bottles,  none of which are  empty.  Oy.  I need a better system, but like I said, I am operating on auto pilot when the school year is in full swing.  I just had a moment when I was thinking about how life was when I only taught elementary school art.  I thought I was so busy then.....  I had no idea.

So with the end of school upon me, I am thinking about my June - July is still being scheduled. The end of school this year is making me a little sad and it is making it hard for me to deal with anything and everything.  However,  I am thrilled to think about going to the cities and visiting my seester Rose and forgetting about EVERYTHING else for a few days!  It is my annual trip and I am so excited.  I need sister time!  And we will be spending a nice stretch together as we will be heading south to Janesville for the weekend to eventually attend a family graduation.  I'll get to see some cousins and aunties and an uncle who I haven't seen in a long long time!  YAY! Other than that, June will have a few Bayfield trips and I have to get a glass project underway.  I need to finish up the garden shed project that I want to do.  I also need to repair my throne and finish up a few flower pots.  I feel like I should have a big sculpture project in the works, but the time I will spend on scaffolding doing the mosaic on the shed will have to do.

I am assuming I will have company here from the children and otherwise, I will wing it!  I love being very flexible and able to jump in the car and go when I want.  I also will be doing the biking/walking/kayaking/hiking thing whenever I possibly can!

Writing this incredibly oddball post has really helped me pinpoint a few little glitches my brain is having these days. I am very disturbed by some staffing changes at school and it affects me so much personally and professionally.  Personally, I am going to have a dear friend with whom I spend a lot of time move away, and professionally I am losing a colleague that I depend on for many things.  It is a melancholy that is running in the background all the time.  It has made me very edgy and I am starting to realize how overreaching these feelings are.  I am much more prone to sadness, to being snappish and not confident about anything.  Hopefully by realizing this (writing is really cathartic for me) I can deal with it instead of torturing everyone around me by being needy and distracted.  And possibly begin sleeping well again.  And I really need my confidence back- I have absolutely none right now.

Yeah, so that is my little random thought process for the day.  I was looking at my stats for the year on blogger and I have only like 6 more posts to write and I will have more posts written in this half year than I did last year.  Interesting isn't it?  Part of that is the fact that during my life coaching thing I wrote all the time, just not on the blog.  :)  I still journal, but not like I did last year at this time.

So I hope that you can get a little sunshine and joy in your life today.  I am going to be looking for mine even if it is still cloudy out.  And then I'm going to go for a bike ride, or maybe a kayak!  and then I'm thinking pictures might be taken as well, and there is the joy that I am looking for.

Self portrait and paths

I came up to the school doors yesterday and saw my reflection in the door.  I got my phone out of my bag and shot this single frame.

The implications of this photo are particularly multifaceted this week.

The pull of the outdoors vs the indoors.  Summer is calling me out of this building.  The building threatens to overtake me and erase who I really am.  Yet I am packed and ready to enter, and by the same token I can just turn and walk away.  But I won't.

The school hallway has made deep inroads into my being: my student's pains and joys fill my soul.  I cannot escape the emotions that they share with me.  I am saddened by their fears and their heartbreaks, I am giddy with their excitement and I am exhausted by their neediness.  Yet, I can't wait to get their everyday and see the growth in their art and their lives.  Students and the adults in my life have no idea how their actions and words affect my emotions of that moment.  I literally take on their feelings and mirror them with mine. 

There are many paths I could have taken and I have chosen this one.  9 months of the year I follow that hall to my room and later to the elementary school.  9 months of the year I teach, take care of, give affection, redirect,  hold my tongue, advise, and commiserate.  9 months of doing what needs to be done.  I give everything I have to them and I leave every night unnecessarily emotional at this time of the year.  I am running out of soul to hand over to them and I need to rebuild.  

My summer path is one that is varied and usually diverse.  I follow paths that scare me sometimes, and this summer will be no different.  I may do more alone traveling, as it seems I might have to get used to hiking alone.  I am going to get a kayak so I can also be on the river alone.  While I always crave the company of others, sometimes I have to have solitude.  This tends to surprise people, but who doesn't need that time to yourself?  It can be really hard for me but being alone is what allows me to discover my best and most authentic self.  Getting out for a bike ride or a walk after school, like right away after school, lets me get centered again and chases the demons of the days away.

So I will be following the interior path yet for a few more weeks.  The emotions are running high right now, the seniors have phoned it in and are mentally done.  The rest of the students' activity level rises with the brightness of the sun, as they can feel the pull of summer as well.  I have friends who will not be working with me next year and that emotional path is something I do not want to travel down yet.... I keep hoping for miracles.  

So, I need to get ready for my day, to follow my path.  Resist the urge to turn around and run to the woods, to the great outdoors, to the road that is calling me. The calls are getting louder.  My summer is awaiting, but my kids need me for now.

I hope your path today is joyful.

A random Wednesday morning in May

Last night was not a very good sleep night for me.  I have to learn to shut down my brain, but that isn't always possible.  The MA suggested at 2:30 in the am when I tried a 3rd different place to sleep that maybe I need to get more exercise.....  isn't he cute??  He was kind enough to let me sleep alone the last few hours so I could actually have a couple hours of shut eye.  I used to be able to sleep like him- lay down, shut eyes, drift off....  must be nice.  I know that this is a cycle, I've gone through this before.  It is just annoying.

So, in other random news, I started riding my bike again!  YAY for nice weather.  I am way more comfortable and confident on it.  I don't feel like I am going to take a header onto the road or have a stone tip me over.  Cars coming up behind me still bug me, but I assume that is a rational fear! I am very grateful for the mirror I had installed.  Speaking of which, if you are in the Park Falls area and want a bike, I cannot recommend Lucky 13 Power Sports enough!!  They got me a new dealie for my handlebar that allows me to tilt it back so I don't lean on my hands and elbows for now, and they considered it warranty work!  First year check up/tune up free!  I was blown away and so impressed.  I will say that although my arm gets sore when I ride, it recovers quickly- so win!!

Today is our last early dismiss day, hopefully forever.  We started having early dismiss days when we had to learn new technology things back in the day.  And they have been used heavily since, but apparently the calendar committee got the message that there are better ways to hold inservices, which is really nice.  Our time is much better used with full days, so we can collaborate with our colleagues and actually get some of the things we are needing to do- done.  So much "stuff" that needs to be documented and researched and uploaded and all.  oy.

I am looking outside at some sprinkles on the window.  It is nice to see that, as the Northwoods is a bit dry.  While we had a really nice rain Sunday, it was of the scattered variety.  The next few days has rain in the forecast, so that will help the green overtake the brown.  When you live this close to forest, you can get a little nervous about the dry.  Visitors don't always take the burn bans seriously.

Mother's Day is coming up this weekend and I am thrilled to have Jon, Sarah and Ella coming!  All I want for Mother's Day is breakfast!  :)  IE: I don't want to make pancakes on Sunday I want to go somewhere.  I don't care how busy it might be.....

Well, I better get this day started.  Hope you all have a great Wednesday!  Be a joy giver today!  :)

Back at it

The day is here, I am finally going to head back to work!  As you can imagine, I am a bit conflicted about this, but mostly it is a giant relief.  I'd most likely go insane if I had to stay home for another week.

First of all, the how am I feeling update.  I am getting better, but slowly.  Yesterday I went to school with an assistant (thanks Cathy!) to do a little bit of set up and to check out some yarn supplies.  I was able to fairly easily open up the school door myself (that sucker is heavy) and get around.  I was not easily able to reach most of the things I needed in the elementary school art room, particularly.  I will have to really be planning my needs in advance.

I feel fine this morning.  As usual it takes about 5 minutes of typing and my left arms starts to ache.  My ankle will be fine until about noon, I am not sure about the stamina of my right arm.....  but I can't sit at home today.

I have pumped myself full of caffeine, so I will have my edge.  I have prepped by taking one bag of stuff to school yesterday, the only thing I have to do is have the MA open the garage door for me.  I think.  I really do not know how I will do physically today, which is why I am a little uneasy.  But I know I will have a nice welcome back from the kids, because my subs have said how much the kids all miss me.

I have all my things laid out and ready to go.  I just have to finish assembling lunch and get dressed.  I still need to gather my courage and my determination and pick up my joy on the way out of the house.

A bundle of contradictions

HAPPY SEPTEMBER 1!!

(Wow, I let that last depressing post sit on top of my blog WAY longer than I meant to.  OOPS.)

I'd like to say that I am not a whole lot better than the last time I wrote, but I am starting to relax.  Labor Day is a ball of contradictions, with people coming and leaving, people not coming when they were going to and that secret delight of silence that replaces it- especially after a busy busy 4 days.  There is the joy of the last huge sink full  of dishes that are complete and minimal cooking in the foreseeable future, coupled with a long stretch of no kiddos for company. An old friend showed up in a new way- quite unexpected.  School is starting- and you can say that in SEVERAL ways, go ahead and try some of those out!  There is the mini disasters that occurred and were fixed and the one fix that didn't happen.  ON and on it goes, and I am drained.  However, the sun is out and I think that I will get in a walk, and who knows, maybe the MA will go with me.

The sun magically likes to come out when I enter the school building, and I am sure that it will be out tomorrow when the school year begins again.  It usually is.  This past week was quite lovely whilst I was stuck inside....  Ah yes.

I have my rooms ready, but no clue what to wear.  I have my first few lessons prepared, but have not printed class lists yet.  I am super tired, but anticipate a cruddy nights sleep.  a bundle of contradictions as per usual.  I've been feeling cranky at times today, but then feel bad that I was having ill-will towards a fairly harmless person.  I am happy about one thing, but see the drawbacks in other ways.  I need to quit over thinking. Always.

Anyway, I think I will just publish this fairly disjointed post and go on with my day.  I do want a walk, but I needed this hour of goofing off. After all, it is my last afternoon of quiet for a while.  Maybe I will paint my summer fingernail one last time!

I hope your Labor Day was a good one, whether you were picnicking or partying or sulking or resting or working or loafing or best of all, joyful.

Happy Monday, and now you can spend the rest of the week wondering what day it is anyway!

Late August sighs

I have discovered that somewhere along the way here, it is still dark at 5 am now!  When the heck did this happen??  Oh yeah, that would be during the almost 3 weeks of semi wasted summer due to that stupid tick bite.  Sigh

Wild waves on the big Lake

I am in the process of transitioning myself to school hours, so that involves getting up at 5 instead of 6.  I don't really use an alarm, since I wake up frequently at night anyway, so it is pretty easy just to get up when it is time.  I have not been sleeping particularly well, either, a combination of a somewhat warm bedroom (been a little humid lately), snoring (it is allergy season in the northwoods for the MA), a jumpy brain (lack of good exercise and school thoughts) and heaven knows what else is going on there. So I just get up and get myself moving.  I am hoping that by shifting my day's schedule I will be desperately tired at night and will be able to fall asleep BEFORE 11:30 or 12.  AND I feel well enough now to hit the gym harder and get out for walks and bike rides again.  Now if only the rain would cooperate.

So the north is turning towards fall- some of the weaker trees are beginning to turn a little, there is fog in the mornings, the skunks are out digging around in the yard (oh goodie), and the subtle smells and sounds of the outside are changing. And of course I am visiting my tomatoes daily, willing them to hurry up and ripen. My inservices begin next week and then the day after Labor Day, school will begin.

It is always exciting to have the beginning of a  brand new school session, especially against the contrast of nature heading towards the end of its current life cycle.  It is a good way to go into the fall.  I am energized this year by the  really good class that I sort of half missed. But enough filtered through for me to have a mind set of positivity and keeping the eye on the REAL prize.  Which is teaching my students through art, encouraging their growth as people by expressing themselves with pictures and other media.  Not with the incredibly intrusive, and irrelevant in many cases, over load of educational pedagogy that is being thrust on all teachers in our state.  When did the methods become more important than the students?  I am not sure.  sigh

But that is what it is, and I will do my best to fulfill the true needs of the students and the wants of those who are "in charge" at many levels.  Therefore, of course, instead of spending the last week at school busily preparing for the school year ahead, I have been indulging in last minute summer immersion. (No one said I was logical!!  :) ) I returned Monday from visiting the kids in southern WI.  Tuesday, I was fortunate enough to spend a late birthday journey with my sweet friend Jane up to the Lake Superior shores of Wisconsin and Michigan.  Wednesday, I did some necessary errands and then had a fabulous birthday massage (finally), and then yesterday, I spent a lovely afternoon with my dear friend Cat- again a late birthday event- up in Ashland.  AHHHHHH  it has been a lovely week.  

It was a beautiful day- no, really!

Today is involving my last summer Bayfielding for the year.  I am sure we will be getting up there again during the fall, because, you know- apples.  (It was a tough winter for the apple trees here) AND I am seeing another Book Across the Bay happen, because that was just fabulous.  I foresee a day of  berry picking in some form, lunch, coffee,  standing on the dock and weeping er, admiring the view, no matter what the weather, and hopefully some hiking about the area.  Yes, summer is awesome.  sigh.

And I would  imagine that pictures will follow!  I have a lot of editing to do and frankly, my photo taking has let up a little because I am trying to take everything in and truly be present with my friends.  Connecting with people, enjoying the sights, taking a few photos, eating some truly fine food and dipping my feet in the lake- these are the things that refresh, satisfy and bring true joy!

Don't forget to share some joy today!  

Mid March update

I have been at school- 

that is about all.

The weather has been yucky (I don't want to complain about it, but I certainly could), I have been putting the finishing touches on the scenery for the play and now managing the back stage element and tonight we go on.

Unless you work in a school, you do not understand the odd dynamics of March.  The 3rd quarter has the fewest days off (this year there have been a couple), the grey and cold weather, the TOUGH parts of learning is upon us, and everyone gets twitchy and tired and cranky and to put it bluntly, students are known to do stupid things at the time of the year.  The little kids went for almost 3 weeks without being able to get outside for recess because of the below zero temps or wind chill- during the day!  Frequent acute viruses run rampant through the buildings, and many children and adults alike, seems to reach a point of feeling just a bit hopeless.  We are all sort of rallying the troops and circling the wagons (how many metaphors can I use without it being awkward here?? LOL) and just getting through the month.  It is hard to describe the atmosphere, but it is there and it is a time that has to be constantly monitored and extra emotional support needs to be given- daily, frequently and liberally.

Personally, while I took pictures of the wonderful visit by the first Oswald son and Sarah to visit since Christmas, I haven't had time to download yet.  I haven't been lucky enough to see any great sunsets.  I haven't even been able to get to the gym!!!  SOB.  So, yeah, it has been a time of getting by and getting through it and try to enjoy what is in front of you and not sit around and miss what we don't have..... like grass and warmth and birds and daffodils.  And there is that little demon known as tax season.

And so I am keeping my eye on the prize- more free time coming soon, the end of the third quarter in a week, another Oswald son and his Sarah coming soon (along with that little bonus that comes with them!), and a nice trip OUT OF TOWN that will be welcome!!  And I'm pretty sure that the MA will be home a lot more in just under a month, too.  I'm feeling the need for a driver for a photo shoot or two!!

Anyway, enough of that.  Tonight is the  first performance of our school musical and it is a SWEET little play.  Funny, fun, and lot so great dancing and really enjoyable music.  This cast of kids is so great, what a fun, sweet and kind group they are.  It is has been a pleasure to work backstage with them.  Time to don the black clothes and on with the show!

And that really does give me joy!

Understanding your Mad Art Teacher 2.0

Tonight is our Open House at school- and I am not ready.

I am ready for the kids and the parents to come in and look at me and my room, sort of, but I am so not ready for school to start.  So therefore, I am incapable of sane decisions, rational thought and ability to complete tasks.......  this boys and girls is how this art teacher rolls.

So what are the peculiarities of being an art teacher in September (or late August)?

Especially this particular one, who has a minimum of 6 different classes a day- with her preparation time mushed into her lunch (not good- just trust me on that) and who is constantly wanting to do something different.

Every year I start off wanting to redo my entire curriculum and lesson plans and my way of doing things and that does usually occur at the beginning.  Then you pile on things like- homecoming, staff meetings, committee meetings, IEPs, interruptions, firedrills, inservice days, fall leaves, butterflies and shiny objects and you have plannus interruptus.

This year I have sort of on a whim purchased a new book (collective gasp- don't tell anyone that it is an actual hold in your hand, not a virtual, book- not to be viewed on any sort of a device) that has given me a slightly different angle to my High School classes.  I am very excited about this and I hope that it will pan out with the students I have this year as well as I think it will.  So when I get to school today it will be my job to totally reorganize my lesson plans for the majority of my classes.

This year I also have a minimum of 3 classes per hour in the High school.  Yes, you read that right, and one of them has 4.  Now granted these are smaller classes but the total in my room is good sized.  How am I going to manage this?  Well I think I have a plan for that-

I also plan to include some app based projects and we are going to go on a field trip (fingers crossed for good weather) soon!!!  All of these things will make for some stressful moments I am sure, as I try to make myself 2 people.

My problem is that I am too damn visual for my own good.  This is how I get myself into things- I see and my brain kicks in and then I do things and plan things and then I feel like I am meeting myself in the middle from all the comings and goings.  And then I get to go to the elementary school!

I know how the first 2 weeks will go there, so I am in great shape!  HA!

Anyway, after cleaning up after the cleaners (who do a fine job but have never quite managed to put things back where they found them) and putting away boxes of supplies, and then cleaning up after a "workshop" that was held in my art room (wouldn't you think grown-ups who are supposedly responsible adults could put things back where they found them) and hunting down the items that I hid last spring (in some cases not well enough) I barely have my room usable right now.  And there is that lesson plan thing.  And then there is the endless rounds of meetings that are cramping my style and my set up time and that is where working in two buildings is a real bummer.  And in a couple of ill advised  comments and a general feeling of panic to add to my day and now you can see why the Art Teacher had a meltdown of epic proportions yesterday that included a massive rant and temper tantrum that left 2 Mad-friends surprised and snickering at my lack of joyfulness (not in a bad way- it was sort of funny) (sort of) that led to me collapsing in a brain dead heap of uselessness that could only result in a slightly cleaner house and nothing much else accomplished.

Yeah.

So, I found a blog yesterday that amused me in many ways (this person could be my new best friend if we lived near each other, I am positive) but this particular part of one of her posts is very appropriate for  today. Many of her posts would  not be understood by the public at large- it is definitely something that gave me a chuckle and is alarmingly true!!  if you do not understand or do not find this amusing, you need to go to bed and wake up fresh and then try again.  If not, then maybe this is too art teacher specific as well.  But I could read it again and again!! Hehehehe

Oh yes, and so it goes!

I love the beginning of the school year- it is such a time of promise and potential!

So fire up the coffee pot and lay out the healthy snacks (please don't feed me cake or cookies- for I am weak at school and I do NOT need them) and break out the paintbrushes.  It is time for school to start!

And that will bring me no small amount of joy