So here it is December 2 and I am already feeling the pressure of Christmas. If any of my dear children read this, know that I am not referring in any way to you, you are not my stress of Christmas.
It is amazing what this season will do to you, and I am not a person who tends to be a perfectionist, really, so I can just imagine what some people go through! Yesterday I woke up in a funk, a really bad one. I felt sad, and unfocused, and out of sorts. I don't know why exactly, but I think part of it was the list of things that I had in front of me when I woke up. I am glad that I accomplished virtually my whole list, plus an almost 3 hour long walk, but somehow it was negated by the list that I have for today. I tend to have unrealistic expectations about what I can get done on weekends, anyway.
I love putting up Christmas decorations, but yesterday it was an effort. I was totally irritated that, through a long stupid process, I did not have enough roping to string where I want it on my deck. It will be ok, but it is NOT what I want. **40 feet** I am irritated that I am not sure where the ribbon is - that I know is somewhere upstairs, and is not in my downstairs. I make my own bows for my wreaths and frequently the roping and I want to finish up one job before I start on the other decorations and the tree. HOWEVER, that will not happen as my local chainsaw operator is going to cut the bottom of the tree this morning and the tree WILL be happening people! WILL BE. sigh. See now, I sighed about a Christmas tree and I love them.....
Speaking of that (things I love to do, but am sighing about), I really need to order a few things online, as well, and this might not happen today, and I NEEEEEEEED to do that- you'd think I'd be using my time wisely right now. You know, like ordering those online gifts instead of complaining on one's blog about the fact that you are feeling behind and decidedly unsunshine-like, not to mention a slight lack of joy..... But I do have my priorities!!!
I woke up a badillion times last night, mostly because my carpal tunnel is acting up.....why you might ask the lovely Mad-Art Teacher, why?????? ......BECAUSE I spent 4 hours last night designing a calendar and then part of another one before my eyes gave out. I love my photography, and I think I better plan ahead next year and put a copy of my best pix in a separate folder AS I GO thru the year, to expedite this process. Anyway, when I spend too much mouse time, my right hand goes numb continuously through the night. Not too conducive to sleeping. Speaking of not conducive to sleeping is waking fully awake at 3 am and wondering if the card that was pre-stored on the Shutterfly website was your credit card or your debit card!!!! So if you are one of the lucky recipients of these said calendars, you best treasure them, as I am putting your pleasure ahead of my comfort! ;) Alright, so I am loving the results so far, and am now SERIOUSLY considering making a special edition calendar of my stone house. We shall see how that goes. That would be pretty awesome. So if anyone wants to meet me on Gmail or Facebook chat tonight because my hand is keeping me awake, you might find my little light on!
As I survey my house, it looks somewhat like a bomb went off in parts of it! It still is in a bit of disarray from -ahem #huntingseasonmess - and #visitorswithdogs- and so sections of this place have a few piles that need to be sorted through. This is going to cause problems for me in a while when the world of Christmas collides with the piles that need to be sorted and dealt with- not to mention the wall that needs to be painted because the paint samples from last year are still slopped up there behind my couch and tree area and it fricking drives me insane, and you can see how this is going to go. I am on the precipice of trying to do too many things at once, and it has the potential to get ugly.
To top that off, and so ironically, I am STRESSED that I am obligated to go to the Madrigal dinner tonight!!!! SERIOUSLY!???!!!! I LOVE the Madrigal dinner, my students are singing, the decorations are beautiful, the company will be awesome...... I use the Madrigals to get into the Christmas spirit and so the irony is that I am dreading going because I won't be able to finish my decorating/calendarmaking/christmascardwriting afternoon. Now that is irony if I ever experienced it.
My job today is to recover my positive attitude. I am sure it is there somewhere, I can feel it coming to the surface- sort of. To not let the people around me affect my mood, to not let perceived stress affect my mood, to not worry about what is or isn't finished and let if affect my mood.... except I have to get the calendar done because the free shipping and 40% off are over today, and experience tells me that they are not kidding when they say this is the best deal of the season..... So the calendars must be done! Let's see, I need to be totally mindful of what I eat and not let the day find me with chocolate or coffee in my hand and/or mouth. I wonder what they are serving tonight, I am sure I will have enough to eat, but I don't want to over eat. Should I eat something before I go, so I am not hungry and then risk the chance of eating too much when I get there?? I need medication... AND I need to pick out something cute and get ready to have a nice evening with my dear friend Cat, watching my beautiful students sing in their costumes. Many of which I have made, which is always a kick to see!! I hope that I don't get a text message stating that one of the costumes has torn and I need to fix it - where is my hot glue gun?? And know that I get to watch the FABULOUS season finale of Boardwalk Empire in its entirety when I get home, and of course not stress that I am missing it as it occurs.
Alright, so now that I have verbalized why my day was not the finest yesterday, I think I can get a handle on my todo list. I NEED to find my ribbon to finish off the deck. I might paint the area ABOVE my couch for right now, so I don't have to look at the paint samples on photos. I will let the Christmas tree enter the house without having a hissy fit about anything. I will get the lights on the tree, as that is the best part anyway, and decorate in fits and starts. I WILL find my favorite Christmas things and get them out......my ROCKING HORSE collection needs to be in front of me!!! I WILL get a walk in this morning, as that is the MOST important thing right after Sunday pancakes. And I will find something awesome to wear to the dinner tonight and put my mind to enjoying the season, because, after all, that is what I am all about these days. We shouldn't sweat the small stuff, and really it is all small stuff. And the downinthedump days make the joyful ones all the sweeter!
I guess I just need to enjoy the things I am doing as I do them, right?
Don't forget to be a joy giver! It can sometimes get lost in the jumble (read as: piles of things that need to be sorted!!) of your life