Relax! If you know me AT ALL, you know that recently, it is really hard for me to do! Relax is something I used to do well, but now, not so well. But I'll return to that thought in a moment.....
So, I am sort of surprised to find that I think a lot less about eating now. I just laughed at myself, because I have been in "maintenance" a whole 7 days and have arrived at the conclusion that I need to fight my natural eating tendencies for the rest of my life about 3 days ago, and am making these lofty declarations already! I hate being so self aware.... lol. Anywho, I am somewhat amused with myself for needing to have 3 chapters already in my maintenance thread! But like I said, relaxing about things is not my strong suit these days. Again, hang on for that.
Oh yes, back to eating..... so once I decided that there was not magic that happens when you fall below a randomly chosen number on a scale - that will wildly alter from one moment to the next, let alone one day to the next - I have found that it has been a lot easier to just eat something. I eat similarly to what I was before, I just have added a little more to each section of the day. Not a lot, just a little. And I am also letting myself have one small yummy thing, whether it is a cookie or a beer or 3 glasses of wine... it is all good! And it makes me very happy, especially the wine! :) I continue to workout exactly like before- lots of weight lifting, lots of cardio, a ballet class and it is just what I need. People think I am going to stop exercising because I have hit my goal, which is NOT true at all. I need it- it is a healthy addiction that I have! And I think it is going to be the key to keeping my weight where I want it!
I have had a number of interesting occurrences the last few days:
* I have found that my jeans are all too loose now, except for one pair, and I am going to have to get to a nice Goodwill or something soon to replace those puppies.
*I found the sketchbook that I had my measurements from 2 years ago written in and I am ASTONISHED to say that in my hips alone I have gone down 12 inches!!!!! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!! Yikes.
*When the MA and I went out for dinner on Friday night, we sat next to 2 people (at the bar, where I found that the white wine was so good that I ended up with 3!) I hadn't seen much of in a while. In fact, I haven't seen Charlie in years, and Bertie forever either. Charlie didn't recognize me, and Bertie and I had already discussed a similar conversation we had at parent-teacher conferences. It seems so weird, these are people I have known over 20 years, and I feel **the same**. I guess that is the part that makes it all surreal. It happens now and again, but it never fails to surprise me.
*I find that I don't really enjoy being called stick woman AT ALL. GRRRR
* and a DING DING moment, I found a sun dress that someone had given me last February or March, that I NEVER thought it was going to fit- ever- and it does!!!! Now, of course, I have discovered that I don't really like the dress all that much, it isn't exactly the best cut for me..... however, it is a strapless thing and I was really happy it looked decent! YES!!! Arms raised and fist pumps occurred!
There is a whole nuther post about the rest of the things I found while cleaning, but it doesn't fit into this particular session!
Anyway, about the relaxing.... I am not good at it anymore. Maybe it is my metabolism, maybe it is my real personality, maybe it is just being a somewhat different person who still feels the same inside, but relaxing isn't part of my makeup now. This is somewhat hard for me, as I don't like to be a "failure" at things. It bugs me. If I am doing "nothing" I am ACTUALLY thinking about any and all of these things in the course of a moment- photography, dinner, walking, weightlifting, drawing, lunch, breakfast.....facebook, texting, songs that are in my head and won't go away..... you name it, that is what is happening and I find myself up and messing around with something. I am not sure if it is a good thing or not. Excellent example: this morning, after a night of fitful rest, I could have stayed in bed past 5. But it didn't happen- why not?? I usually get up at 4, so I woke up, then I layed there and thought about what I am going to do today....what I want to accomplish, the gifts I need to wrap, the cards that are still unwritten, the fact that I am out of printer ink for the letter I want to write to put in the cards, other miscellaneous things and people, plus what time am I going to the gym...... pow..... I am wide awake and just get up out of surrender. And then I find myself writing another maintenance blogpost.... and it will give me some peace and just a little bit of joy.... My brain is buzzing and I need to keep it thinking and dreaming and creating in one way or another for it to be content. And isn't content really what we want to be?
Content, not complacent. Happy, not passive. Determined, but not close minded. Maintain, not obsess. Joy giver, not joy stealer!