I am in a state of suspension today. I am here at my son's getting ready to start the day and the New Year is almost upon me. I have always had that "lose weight" resolution looming, even though I have never been a big resolution person. I didn't want to set myself up to fail. So THIS year is different. It is not typical of other years and I am sort of feeling the lack of a clear goal right now!
I have changed so many things in the last year. I have changed my eating - my food choices are so different than a year ago, and SOOO changed from 2 years ago. I have things I choose to eat and things that I never plan to eat again, or at least not for an extended period of time. I have proven to myself that I can indeed resist foods that I have no power to deny, unless I never taste them again. Hard to start, but once you change your mindset- it really is pretty simple. NOT easy, but simple!!!
I know what I have to do in the food department, sort of, but am very much floundering over other parts of my life. Last year I had both my boundary waters trip and the Dirty Girl run to do and that was an amazing pair of physical challenges to do. My sore knee affected both things, but it turned into a massive learning experience and gave me satisfaction in ways that weren't anticipated! Life is full of things like that- you go into something thinking one thing and then things surprise the heck out of you. You can plan all you want- to feel a certain way, to "never " do a particular thing, to be able to accomplish a goal in a specific way- and then things and people will affect you, touch you, appear to you in unusual formats or with unexpected results.
So what am I going to do? What is going to surpise me? What physical thing can I be planning to do, but may turn around into something a little different? I am not sure, but I need to at least thing of which direction to go in. It is something I am struggling with right now and I need to at least begin to walk some way! Or maybe run, or possibly canoe, or kayak??? swim??? Idk.
But I am anxious to find out. And I need a start.
I will definitely find some joy along the way!