Sunday, January 13, 2013

Maintenance, insecurities and issues with technology!! OH MY!

So I discovered a couple disturbing facts yesterday!

Actually one was THIS MORNING- when I discovered somehow that my computer is not reading my pictures from my phone and it is TICKING ME OFF!!!!  ARGH.  This sort of thing makes me INSANE.  I do not know how a few days ago things are working fine and then this morning nothing is being recognized by either my Aperture program or iPhoto!!!!  And to get any of the pix to the programs is a tedious process.  It is enough to make a MadArtTeacher cry!  It sucks the joy out of my life.  But I am going to do some deep breathing and try to deal with it.  But I am so distressed.  I have to think of what person to ask advice from, or what the next step should be.  ANY opinions can be texted or sent to me.....  this gives me anxiety.

AND the next thing is that I may or may not actually be getting quite enough protein on any given day, so I have to keep an eye on that.  And along those lines, I finally have prepared tofu and I found reasonable success with that.  So that makes me feel good!  It is a TOTAL bummer that the vegetarian selection in this town is so small.  It is enough to make a normally happy person SAD.  And today is apparently a day that I am going to be driven just a little crazy, I can feel it.  I could not sleep well last night, I woke up a LOT and I felt jumpy this morning.  Not rested and very restless. I think I need some creative outlet.  It is so dark this morning, I just know that I am not going to be seeing the sun either.  Sigh

This is all an indication that I am feeling unsure of this whole maintenance situation. (I think) And of course the technology glitch.  I have been doing ok with eating well, but have found a few old habits recurring and it bothers me a LOT.  I CAN NOT revert to my old ways.  CAN NOT. So anyone who is saying that I can just eat anything I want and not be so careful is full of it, so STOP saying that to me!!!!  EVERY day is a struggle and I need to concentrate on it all the time.  When people say that to me, it is like the old Debi is listening and telling the redesigned one that she is all wrong and she had it right before.  It is difficult having multiple voices in your head.....  :)   there is a song about voices in your head being your friend....
 And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard
But I'm not sure
I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet you there
But I don't care

I am having "one of those days" I think.

So I will just proceed with caution today, get a little activity in, and try to remain positive.  Hard some days!  REALLY hard.

I'll post about what I cooked yesterday when I am feeling more upbeat!  sigh

Gotta find some joy first


  1. My sister-in-law is gluten-intolerant and it is amazing how small the variety of gluten-free items there are on the shelves, even at a Super Wal-mart. Just this small window into alternate eating whether it is vegan, gluten-free, or just eating healthy is nuts in this country. Everything is so over-processed and over-"refined". Keep plugging away at your healthy vegan life-style DebiO!

  2. Super Walmart does not have a great selection in anything, and I never shop there if I can avoid it! My sister is totally milk intolerant and it is an eye opening thing try and shop for special needs/interests. But I will keep at it! :)