Monday, May 25, 2015

Familiar sights

I have been out and about a bit this weekend.  I've been visiting with the Mad-Middle son and family and kayaking and biking and such.  And of course a bit of cooking and entertaining.  While on my journeys, this particular time on the bike, I rode by the "ghost house" and favorite tree.  Both of these locations are on Hwy E not too far from where I live and both of them are on the down swing of their presence here in Price county.

Ghost house last November
I noticed yesterday that the ghost house is bending backwards.  For many years this place has been standing upright- just one wall.  Well, of course the look is deceiving as the one wall is held up with partial walls and all sorts of junk on the inside.  The roof and upper floor caved in, so it supported the last remaining side.  It has/had a face on that remaining side, which is pretty cool in some lighting situations.

Tilting back...
When I first moved into the place we live in now, that house was intact tho deserted.  I had lots of little kids to keep me busy in between the time when I first became aware of this place and when I began to have enough time and the courage to walk past there.  I say courage, because I have not always been a very brave person.  I never felt comfortable exploring new places until recently, like in the last 10 years.  This is an odd thing for me to admit in the middle of this random post, but it is true.  I think we were encouraged to stay nearby ie: out of the cornfields when we were little.  Since we lived in the middle of cornfields, there wasn't too far to go.  And regardless of what everyone thinks, I am not a particularly outgoing person in many regards.  It is one of those situations where you never know the journey that other people are on.  I'd never define myself as such.


This is what has been holding up the facade
So the point of that is, I didn't have the nerve to walk very far from home because first I didn't think I could walk that far and also I was very hesitant to go where I hadn't been.  And 3 little kids.....  I didn't walk to the stone house until maybe 5 years ago, shocking to me in retrospect.  Yeah, well anyway, I only vaguely remember the intact house, but the one wall ghost house has been a part of my westward walks for the last several years.

The inside of the wall
I feel bad as it is going to be one more house that is will completely disappear and return the land to its original form.  There are no less than 5 houses that are abandoned in a 1/2 square mile in that area.  One  across the street from form said ghost house only has a tiny remnant left, the ghost house is crumbling.  There is the Stone house and the wooden house across from it just around the corner and there is an abandoned house in front of a more recently constructed house right in between all of the rest of these.  It is sort of odd.

Remnants of the people who lived here- Peony bushes - the house is on the other side of those trees.
Why there are so many houses that someone didn't care to sell or rent or just keep up with is a mystery to me.  Is it unique to the area?  I doubt it, houses fall into disrepair all over the place.  It makes me wonder and think about the possibilities, the past histories, the reasons behind it.  And it makes me a little sad.

Favorite tree

Chunks of its former glory 

Favorite tree is also in the proverbial autumn of it's life.  I was glad to see it leaf out this year, as there is quite a wound on the west side of it.  There are chunks of the trunk on the ground, and I have mentioned the fact that it looks like it is leaning more.  And crumbling down one side... 

Problems are apparent here...
This lovely tree has such character in its advanced age and overall decaying condition.  It is beautifully asymmetrical and leans precariously to the east.  This will probably cause it's ultimate demise when the next big wind storm occurs.  Or one that is coming in the nearish future.  
Yellow birch

I love the tenacious nature of these old beauties. They represent the toughness that age can bring.  The way that you can see the essence of the real self, but the exterior changes.  You are still you, but life has given you the tools to become brave, to weather storms and possibly do things that you never in this life would you think you would do.  

Still trying to produce new life as its own nears it's end
This has been a weekend of ups and downs- the closer I get to summer the more unsettled I feel.  It is hard to transition into summer, tho I CRAVE it this year like you can't believe.  But the end of the school year will signal a big change in my life and I am not looking forward to that.  On the other hand, so many amazing adventures are on my calendar or in the works and that makes me excited, anxious and nervous as well.  So it has been a weekend of being worried and feeling like I perhaps am not good enough for all these plans. People inadvertently make me feel this way, though I know it isn't their intention. But there is something that is always making me question my self worth, my ability to be the person that other people need me to be.  But I need to be true to myself first.  A constant struggle in my mind.  I think it is just the imminent changes that are coming.  

I love the grace with which these old landmarks are growing old.  I hope that they are around for a very long time yet, I enjoy their continued presence on my weekly journeys to the west.  But when they go, I will have my photos and my memory of them.  And that will give me some joy as things change as life goes on.

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