Saturday, May 30, 2015

A not sunny Saturday in May...

Well, that was a bitter disappointment!  I woke up today fully expecting to see some sunshine and BAM- clouds.  BIG SIGH.  I haven't been able to get out and do biking/walking for a few days now and I am getting antsy.  I affects everything about me. I get weird and melancholy.  But that is me- and last night,  beer didn't help AT ALL.

So interesting thing I noticed:
 I had a little party to attend for a coworker on Thursday night and it was at another coworkers house.  It was a nice little casual thing and of course - a few adult beverages were served!  They make a mean Margarita there, in fact one they made with amaretto instead of triple sec!!  OH mygoodnessyum.  So one slid down really fast and then dinner and another and life was yummy and good.  Tequila makes me happy.  Or maybe it was the sun. (It was sunny Thursday, but I didn't think a bike ride after tequila was a good idea)  But at any rate, fast forward to rainy, nasty Friday and we went to Dick and Joans resort for supper.  Because why not?  I had previously made a mental note to NEVER have a margarita there (not their strong suit) and had a very yummy dark beer.  Leinies is great. However, maybe it was the rain, maybe it was the beer, but I was not the happy Debi that Thursday found at the end of it's day.  Then we ended up with a semi engaging Western movie with Pierce Brosnan that was so sad (and frankly weird) that I can't believe I sat there and watched it until almost 10:30.  Yeesh.  Westerns- yuck.  So yeah, my sad self was wide awake for a while last night.  But I did fall asleep eventually and feel great this morning.  And not sorry for myself at all!  Lol. I think I will stay with wine and tequila.

I have only one week left of school.  I had my last Friday with the elementary students and coming this week will be "last days" again.  My Thursday can be a very challenging day, and of course that is the last one as there is only a half day on Friday.  As the Mad-English teacher said, I have time to gird my loins!  Which is a saying I enjoy and will occasionally use myself, but this needed to be attributed to him!  LOL.  so so funnily true.  Send me lots of positive vibrations on Thursday everyone!

I have begun the process of cleaning my rooms, including the cupboards and my incredibly messy desks.  I find that once the school year starts I am pulled along in such a whirlwind that I don't have time to straighten anything up.  Which is why I try not to do a lot of major rearranging because during this whirlwind time I need to be able to find things quickly and not stand there and say to myself- hmmm I think I remember putting this in a better place, now where the heck was that?? You have no idea how many things I find that I needed during the school year when I am cleaning up from said school year.  Part of this is that even though they are mostly forbidden to go into my cupboards, the (high school) students will go in and rummage through for things they think they need.  Which is why I have like 4 opened bright yellow acrylic paint bottles,  none of which are  empty.  Oy.  I need a better system, but like I said, I am operating on auto pilot when the school year is in full swing.  I just had a moment when I was thinking about how life was when I only taught elementary school art.  I thought I was so busy then.....  I had no idea.

So with the end of school upon me, I am thinking about my June - July is still being scheduled. The end of school this year is making me a little sad and it is making it hard for me to deal with anything and everything.  However,  I am thrilled to think about going to the cities and visiting my seester Rose and forgetting about EVERYTHING else for a few days!  It is my annual trip and I am so excited.  I need sister time!  And we will be spending a nice stretch together as we will be heading south to Janesville for the weekend to eventually attend a family graduation.  I'll get to see some cousins and aunties and an uncle who I haven't seen in a long long time!  YAY! Other than that, June will have a few Bayfield trips and I have to get a glass project underway.  I need to finish up the garden shed project that I want to do.  I also need to repair my throne and finish up a few flower pots.  I feel like I should have a big sculpture project in the works, but the time I will spend on scaffolding doing the mosaic on the shed will have to do.

I am assuming I will have company here from the children and otherwise, I will wing it!  I love being very flexible and able to jump in the car and go when I want.  I also will be doing the biking/walking/kayaking/hiking thing whenever I possibly can!

Writing this incredibly oddball post has really helped me pinpoint a few little glitches my brain is having these days. I am very disturbed by some staffing changes at school and it affects me so much personally and professionally.  Personally, I am going to have a dear friend with whom I spend a lot of time move away, and professionally I am losing a colleague that I depend on for many things.  It is a melancholy that is running in the background all the time.  It has made me very edgy and I am starting to realize how overreaching these feelings are.  I am much more prone to sadness, to being snappish and not confident about anything.  Hopefully by realizing this (writing is really cathartic for me) I can deal with it instead of torturing everyone around me by being needy and distracted.  And possibly begin sleeping well again.  And I really need my confidence back- I have absolutely none right now.

Yeah, so that is my little random thought process for the day.  I was looking at my stats for the year on blogger and I have only like 6 more posts to write and I will have more posts written in this half year than I did last year.  Interesting isn't it?  Part of that is the fact that during my life coaching thing I wrote all the time, just not on the blog.  :)  I still journal, but not like I did last year at this time.

So I hope that you can get a little sunshine and joy in your life today.  I am going to be looking for mine even if it is still cloudy out.  And then I'm going to go for a bike ride, or maybe a kayak!  and then I'm thinking pictures might be taken as well, and there is the joy that I am looking for.

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