Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Finding my joy, a sunset, and green tomatoes

Beginning a new school year always presents some challenges, but over all this one has been going pretty well.  I have huge High School classes, but they are a really great group over all.  We have (as a staff) been intervening immediately on some children who need a little extra attention- so the usual has had a little extra added to it.  But that is ok, if we can help a student be successful, it's worth all the extra time.

Here is the sunset promised in the Title!  Lol random I know.
There have been some changes as there always is and I will just say the biggest change at school seems to be a very positive one.  I hold off judgement until later in the school year, but so far so good.  I don't mean to sound vague, but as you can imagine, one doesn't want to divulge information that should be kept at work, or pluck at things that are just unimportant.

I'm also reworking my schedule to get my workouts in, which I love to do, so I do fit them in..... you know what is sad?  The fact that the days are getting so short and the sun is setting a bit after 7.  Sigh.  But can't do anything to stop the rhythms of nature.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, er, garden-- there is a huge bounty of veggies that are bursting out of the fence practically.  We all need to join hands and send out massive wishes that it does not frost before this weekend, as some of us have no energy to do anything with garden produce during the week.  The tomatoes are doing really well, and it is tricky to get them off the vine a bit ripe, but before the slugs decide to descend on them.

Veering off into another direction here-  because I am easily distracted and I need to write this to release it.

So an "interesting" thing that I have noticed.  I really think lately that I have been losing a bit of my joy.  I have been involved in a few minor little situations where people took my words or actions in a negative way.  Which made me recently have a moment of thinking that perhaps I am not as nice as I think I am.  Maybe I am turning into a cranky person, who is intolerant of anything but what I want to do myself....  I seriously had this conversation with myself.  **eyeroll** That is because I am so non-confrontational I immediately blame myself when I am involved in a disagreement--- and of course there are always 2 sides to every story.

And for your viewing pleasure, sunset number 2!
I am not writing this to talk about whether or not I am right or wrong or nice or crabby...  What I do want to say is that somewhere along the line, I lost sight of the important things.  I recently listened to a podcast that discussed the comforts of rituals, which basically are methods of deep self care and I realized that I had dropped most of mine.  And I am a person who needs ritual, and routine and habits because most of my day is not routine at all.  I am sensitive to the emotions of the people around me and always ready to listen to my kids talk about their day and their life, so I need to take  time to ground myself.

Anyway, if you have gotten this far into this particular blogpost, thanks for sticking with it.  I know everyone has crap that happens in their life, but this little combination of things brought into focus that I need to pull myself back onto my joyful path.  And whatever that path is, I will be myself.  Sometimes, that person is someone who is not agreeable and pliable and cooperative.  And there are some in this world who need to know that even if my face shows every inward groan or grimace it doesn't mean that I won't do what needs to be done.  I just really resent the idea that I am not "allowed" to disagree.  Because I will.  But I prefer to find my joy.

I guess my take away here is to really be aware of what and WHO is causing these little events in life.  Some of these peeps are seriously not worth my time, and though I can be a teensy bit obsessive about things, I can set those aside.  Others- well, those others will find out that they may not dictate how I react or feel.  I will be myself, even if it doesn't fit into a nice little mold of who they think the Mad-Art teacher is..... because as we all know art teachers are messy and spill out of molds ALL. THE. TIME.  And you just never know where that color is going to land and who it will splash onto-- and they will enjoy it in spite of themselves, because that is just how I roll.  ;)

Have a LOVELY Tuesday, I hope you can enjoy these waning days of summer that are quickly turning to fall.  Except of course if you live in the warmer climes, then enjoy your continuing summer.  Which if you are still in the 80's that is swimming weather and get yo' self outside and have fun. While we up here pray to the weather gods that it doesn't frost up here in the Northwoods- we still have an awful lot of green tomatoes.  However  you do it, even if it bugs the crap out of some people in your life, find your joy today and stay true to you!  <3


  1. In the movie, "Dolores Claiborne," Kathy Bates said, "Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to." Now, I'm certainly not saying that you're a bitch. What I am saying, is that, sometimes, when I feel that I've lost my patience with the nonsense of others, I feel that bitchiness within me, and I envy Dolores for being able to own her feelings. And now, I envy you your ability to accept those feelings of "not being nice" and set aside the situations and, perhaps, the people with whom you feel that way, so that you can find your joy. And I envy you the so many ways with which you've surrounded yourself in order to find that joy. We aren't necessarily always nice people. The goal is to be good people. That, Debi, I believe you are.

    1. Aw, that was just so sweet of you! I think that is a good way to look at it... I do strive to be a good person- that is true. Thanks for your thoughts! I had to read through that twice. :)