Warm thoughts....

We knew it would happen.  We knew that winter would find us..... yet we were all so happy about this  warm weather.  And then BAM.  You guys it is cold out there.  Holy crap cold- the high being lower than the lows last week cold.  But since the "we" I am referring to are the people of the north, we will adjust pretty quickly- as soon as we grudgingly drag our winter coats out of the back of the closet and move them to a more prominent location.  Oh well.  And at some point there could be gloves involved but let's not get over excited yet.

Self-shadow-portrait 

That being said, I barely left the house all weekend.  I went to the grocery store- twice- but that is about it.  I did go to the gym yesterday, for a while, but my silly foot is still a bit sore so like a logical human being, I am going to let it heal another day or two.

Ancient ruins in the old part of Roma

So what happened to my foot you might ask?  Well, I am just going to say that a heavy thin object dropped straight down on it, and I have a very interesting coloration on my big toe and the top of my foot right now.  Stuff happens.  The nice thing is that I am now wise enough to let it heal and not think- I am going to ignore this and press on and exhaust myself!!  Foot be damned!!  nope. Not this time.  I'll give it a few days and then get back at it.  My toe still is not thrilled to be curled up or to be used to push off or hold my balance well.  So, wait I will.

I love how the restaurants in Italy have people out on the street enticing you to come in. 

That is the nice thing about being done with the craziness of dieting, over-exercising and crap like that.  You can listen to your actual body and do the right thing for it.  And "strangely" it allows you to live your life like you want and need!  So I will need to go for a somewhat extended walk soon, I am thinking Wednesday will be a good day, and a little weightlifting as well.  I need to stay strong for my adventures!

Ostia Antica

Any who,  I have been doing a little photo editing whilst cleaning out my Lightroom program.  I am attempting to stay on top of things and not let pictures that I absolutely will never use, print, publish or in anyway need, build up in my Lightroom catalog.  I am being drawn in again to my Italy pictures.  Next time I go there, and there WILL be a next time, I will be taking more time to see things more slowly.  And be able to take pictures more carefully. We packed a lot of living into that trip, but I need to be able to have more time in just a few places.  Venice, Florence and a few more places in the north are high on my priority list.

I was enraptured by all the different sorts of marble- this blew me away

I definitely want to see more of the US and NEED to visit England and Germany as well, so I have a lot of things in the queue for the next several summers.  So if I seem crabby when people try to schedule my time off, that is definitely why.  I have tentative plans for next summer that involve a new ocean for me and a new coast.  :)

IONIC COLUMN TOP!!!!!! This one **may** have been caressed 

I look at the pictures and think about how excited I was for that trip.  The build-up was spectacular and I hope I didn't drive my friends crazy.  The trip itself was SO good, the weather was amazing, albeit super warm.  Then the dreamy high of coming home and trying to describe the feeling and color and tastes and smells was sublime.  I wonder if I will ever have THAT much anticipation again. Will I ever feel so deeply the excitement of flying so far, being immersed in a country where you do not know the language, finding a culture that is so different and yet seems very comfortable and easy. I hope so. I know that every time I do something new- I get a thrill that is the best feeling imaginable.  I know I stare in awe and wonder, I cry if I am moved, touch everything that I am allowed to,  I eat all the interesting food that I can (I still can't eat a frozen pizza- just no) and revel in the new.  If I ever become nonchalant I will know I need to push out of my comfort zone, yet again.

Starting and ending this post with Wisconsin beauty

Because I find when I am out of my safe and easy comfort zone, that is when I often find the most joy.

Loss of words

I have had a massive writers block lately, for a variety of reasons.  Some of the biggest reasons are the political and social happenings that are in the news right now.  I can't even with them.  And here is the thing- I have been reticent to say anything about what is going on because I didn't want to get slammed from either side of the aisle.  I have VERY good friends who hang out on the right and the left side of this political scene and I just don't want to get into it with any one.  (I do discuss politics with one person, but that is literally it) If you know me well at all, you know that it gives me anxiety.  I am not sure why but it does, and I know when I am consistently anxious bad things happen to my health.  So, I choose not to participate.  As you can imagine, with all the stupidity going on right now, you can't help but think about it and participate to at least a small degree.  Ugh.

So here is the thing- I have allowed the opinions of others to dictate some of the ways I have been feeling and what I have been doing.  Of course that is not out of the ordinary seeing we are a social animal.  But I have been paralyzed by thoughts that have run through my mind over and over and over about certain people and situations.  I've been caught in a real mental trap, and this morning I woke up and decided I can't let these things rule me anymore.

I've sort of had a perfect storm of family, friend, and public issues pop up and I've had to medicate myself to sleep.  I worry I am doing the right thing, will it "look" right to people I care about, am I doing enough for some of them, and generally stressing out about everything and everyone.  While I will not stop worrying completely about a lot of this, because if you know me- then you KNOW that won't happen, I will go on about my business as I see fit.  And if you think I am referring to you specifically- don't assume.  You are most likely wrong.

There are circles I participate in where I am quite vocal about not letting the opinion of others influence what you do or don't do.  Much of that has to do with body image and what you do or don't eat and such things like that. Deciding that how you look is your business, and not that of others- especially driven by media based ideas of worthy.  And if you imagine that someone is "judging" you, you need to do what is right for you, not for them.  So life decided to serve my own words up on a silver platter for me this morning when that aha moment crystalized.

So today I am going to be working on my joy again.  It has to happen- I can't continue being on edge and on alert and feeling unsafe.  So, off I go- I hope you have found your joy today too.

BEST day

I have been known to set myself up for disappointment at times.  I expect things to be perfect and every one happy and I will get great gifts and people will be loving the ones I gave them- yes I am talking to you Christmas!  I generally prefer Thanksgiving because I definitely can cook, and that is really all any one really wants is a yummy meal and pie for heavens sakes.  Pie.  For. Days.  I actually have the remains of a pie in my frig- apple/cranberry and that is a definite yes sort of a pie!

Morning light + fog + a few bright leaves+ a deer= typical wisconsin

So here I am at 4:46 on a day when I really could be sleeping in, but no.  No my brain has been doing stupid things when it comes to sleeping and it was awake.  I even did a little weightlifting and then walked 6 plus miles yesterday, did yard work and everything.....  one would think one would sleep well.  But one would be wrong.  My mind was twitchy last night and I am not sure why.

From the downtown LaCrosse area just off the Mississippi

Anyway, I am getting off track and I am actually writing this about the last day of Daylight Savings Time.  We all know everyone is going to complain about it and trying to get their sleep schedule back and all, especially in April (raises hand)  (is it April??) when we lose that hour.  But boy this is a nice day.  It doesn't hurt that the unnaturally warm weather will let me do what I want outside.

I know I am sort of on an island about this, but I really really love the way the day sort of drags on.  It is Sunday and the weekend and we all are needing a little tiny bit longer weekend.  I know I do!

The river walk in Lacrosse is so beautiful

This year is intense- my days at school go so fast and everyone needs everything now.  Everyone is impatient.  It seems rare for me to be able to sit back or lean on a table and chit chat with the kids....  and this week I have a thing that I have to do with a few of my student's artwork and it must be done by basically Thursday night.  Color me annoyed, lets just put it that way.

But things come up that are interesting and unexpected and that keeps me thinking and challenged and that is perfect.

So I am going to go sip my coffee and read a book and enjoy a little extra time doing not a whole lot of anything....  And here are a few pictures for your viewing pleasure.

I was quite taken with the beautiful bridge that goes over the Mississippi 

Enjoy your Sunday!  I like to treat this day like a snowy- purely (well, mostly) for things I want to do.  And that will be a joy....