Mind shifting

 The day started off just fine, I was a little stiff from the exercise I did yesterday.  Coffee tasted pretty good, I got on the Peloton (which I named, but I don't remember what it was), expected a friend to be on with me but was not- but that is ok.  No biggie.  I did well on that and then rested because I was tired!

Lunch, the MA wasn't annoying or anything, and I had something left from yesterday for myself.  So far so good.  But, under it all I was a little off, and unfortunately it doesnt take much to push me over that line.  I am fine, don't get me wrong, but I am feeling the effects of giving out too much again.  This is what I do.  I am my friends best cheerleader, counselor, sounding board.  And I like the give and take of that.  Lately I have been doing a lot of giving.  And it caught up with me.  

I found myself again repeating the same sort of advice (for lack of a better term, more like pep talk) which was promptly ignored and it made me exasperated.  With everyone everywhere.  

I could feel my mood plummet and the tears rose.  So I need to just get out of the house I think.  It is nice out, so I guess I will take a walk.  Still alone.  I have had my second vaccine and I can actually go where I want again.  But that hasn't registered at all yet.  Thanks a lot Covid for stealing my joy, you jerk.

Anyway, there is no solution or brushing this away.  It just will take time.  I'm hoping the sun will help too.  I keep thinking today is Sunday, but indeed it is not.  And tonight is sucky daylight savings time.  I think that should go away.  

But positives:  I got my second vaccine, it is sunny and not snowing, I have a lot of people who care.  I have amazing children and grandchildren, and I did get to retire at the exact right time it seems.  But being home alone all the freaking time is not good.  at all.  the end.  

So I am going to go outside and hope my brain finds its way back to perfectly fine like it was only an hour ago.  I need summer and people and travel.  not necessarily in that order. 

Have a good weekend.  to the 3 people who read this when I don't post it on Facebook.  lol. you all are awesome. mwah.