Wednesday, January 2, 2013

I think I have worked something out....

I have been pretty much agonizing over what my goals are for the new year.   For the last couple of years these goals have been fairly big- even monumental- and to come up with something this year is proving tough.  I have very wise friends who have all told me something along the lines of relax about it, it will come to you.  And follow your heart, do something that will make you happy.

1/1/2013- photo of the day

I reread comments that I got on a previous blog post to that effect and last night it became clear in my mind that I don't, for now, have any big, all encompassing goals for this coming year and it is quite ok. This year I need to continue doing what I have started.  I need to follow my heart.  So now you  might ask the Mad-Art Teacher what in the world could all that be?  WELL, since you asked....

This is sort of a combination of goals and resolutions, even though I don't really think resolutions are a good idea.  They are sort of set up to be broken if you are vague about things, like I am going to lose weight! or I am going to exercise more! or what have you- though you may see as I just did I actually achieved those resolutions last year.  But the key is that I did not make them a resolution per se, I made them part of my lifestyle change, something that I just had to do.  That is pretty subtle, I realize, but when you are dealing with my particular brain- well let's just say this sort of thing matters!

So, first, as you can probably imagine is I need to work hard on maintaining what I have.  My weight and fitness level are of utmost importance to me!  I began my New Year by walking 6 miles yesterday and maintaining my goal weight, so it was a good January 1.  On those two fronts, I have to keep struggling every day to do the best that I can.  Eating is always going to be an effort to not revert to old habits, I have a tendency to start eating when I am tired, bored or stressed and I need to be vigilant about it.  I have refined my diet a little lately, totally eliminating one of my trigger foods and I am hoping that it will help me out in the long run.  I also think I have to make the commitment to NOT eat anything after 7 pm, unless I have not gotten home until that time, which does happen, as I know that I "think" I am hungry most evenings.  Along these lines, the weight thing.......  I am thinking I would like to lose about 5 - 10 more pounds yet, but not in an official way.  I think if I get into the 130's I will be satisfied- it seems like I need to drop down a little bit- we shall see how that goes.  I think I am going to let my exercise take care of that.  Exercise- I will be doing that.  I feel like I am at a good place with that.  I get cardio 6 days per week, usually, a minimum of 5, plus the weight-lifting at least 4 days and throw in dance class and ballet and it is a pretty balanced program.  I don't have a lot of extra time in my day to put more in, and I don't see where I could take any of those things out!  So between that and my new weight lifting program, I am set.  I would LIKE to run, but am not sure that my knees can take it.  I REALLY plan to canoe again this summer, and perhaps pick up a kayak, too.  These are sports that push my comfort level (I don't feel like a super strong swimmer) but I love to do them. A perfect combination!

So those two things are "easy" in the sense that I know how to get them done- the rest of these I am dabbling around with yet.
I would like to resolve that I do more of my own personal art work!  I am running into a time and mind issue with this.  I don't have a lot of extra time, mostly  because of the things listed above, but I feel that I am neglecting my own need to be creative.  My primary outlet lately has been photography- and that is something that I will not quit doing.  IN FACT I might try to do some sort of a daily picture post, which is going to start here right now.  I am not going to be so silly as to think that I will remember or be able to post a pic every single day, but I am thinking I might at least do catch up posts as I go!

So with that in mind, I also need to do more, and I see myself doing art 2 things.  (Besides the photography, which I have a couple of projects in mind, but like I said there is the time factor....  I probably should be setting up some sort of rough schedule for myself, but I HATE being confined to things like that.  I am such a mood oriented person, I need to feel it to do it!!)  BUT, anyway, I need to work on my concrete sculpture and my drawing.  Being an art teacher is really NOT conducive to doing your own personal art work, which is a sad irony.  I get a taste of it at school, I get to throw on the potter's wheel, I get to paint murals (scenery for the play), I do paintings and drawings that are fast and usually incomplete, but this is just not super satisfying.  Along those lines I also want to make a few items of clothing for myself.....  WHAT am I going to be giving up to make time for these things??  Idk.  But it is something I need to consider.  AND there is the gardening thing, which fits into the concrete sculpture.  I did not do much gardening last summer and I missed it. How did this 2 thing list turn into 4???  Oy

Something that dovetails into all of these ideas is cooking and specifically vegetarian cooking.  I really enjoy this past-time, I like the creativity of it, the possibilities and I really want to have food in the house for the week that is NOT commercially made and frozen or packaged.  I do use some of that in the form of frozen veggie burgers/chick'n strips etc, and that is fine, but I don't want to rely on it.  As noted in my previous post, I got that new cookbook and I would like to make something out of it weekly for a while.  I know that I can't do it everyday, I just don't have it left in me after a day at work, but I can do weekly!  And when I photo and blog it, it really does work into the things I like to do!  :)

You will be noticing things that are NOT on here, all those mundane things that of course it would be nice to do but really are not important in the grander scheme of things, but I am going to put in follow my heart.  My heart is very difficult to deal with, as it is very demanding.  I can not control very often how I feel about things, I rarely can be logical about what is going on there.  It really doesn't matter if it makes sense and I tend to agonize over the least little thing.... so I am going to do the best I can.  Sometimes following you heart is really hard, it makes you uncomfortable, it isn't always a logical thing.  But you do what you have to do!

My final two resolutions are a bit subtle, but they really define me as a person.  I want to continue being a good friend and a joy giver.  These are things I don't have to explain, other than they are part of who I am, what I try to do, what I try to return for all the good that is given to me.  Even though in the end you have to do what is right for you, you are a more complete and happy person if you can share your joys with the people you love.

These will be the hardest and the easiest things for me to do.

I truly do wish all of you a happy HAPPY New Year of 2013!  And away we go, kids!!!

Be a joy giver!!  Always! Even though it can be a struggle- everyday...  

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