Sunday, February 1, 2015

Early morning musing

6 A.M. 

It is 6 in the morning and you would think that someone who has broken multiple things would be sleeping.  Well those things nudge her awake about 4 am and then insist on being upright by 5:30. The MA and I have done our little morning kitchen dance where I pretend I can make coffee and he actually does it for me.  Now, I have him finish up the nights' sleep in the bed and I wait for my ibuprofen to kick in.

At 6 in the AM I know exactly where the breaks and bone bruises are because they hurt like a sonofabitch, pardon my language.  I can barely grasp how something that doesn't seem like it should cause pain issues, like a bone, can give you such discomfort.  Radial head fractures have given me a whole new respect for bones.  I will pay closer attention to anatomy class when I am eating lunch!  (I eat lunch in the science office while my amazing friend the Mad-Science teacher teaches anatomy next door and I love listening to her class.  LOVE IT)  (I really like science, as you might guess)

I will say I have amazing friends, who are literally falling over themselves wanting to help me out.  It is mind-blowing and so touching.  I have had company and food and flowers and love pouring into my house, and then my sister arrived and THAT has been the best thing ever.  AND THEN there are a couple of my far away friends who have kept me entertained and amused and seriously are the best people ever.  They have no NO idea how much they have helped me keep my sanity and my sense of humor.

Last Saturday I unknowingly prepared for a week of being less than able to do stuff.  I had the laundry done, house straightened up, a BUNCH of food for myself and for Fred made, I had picked up a lot of groceries  because I had run out of a lot of things.....  So really I was in good shape.  Until yesterday, when my sister cooked with me.  I sort of bossed her around and she did what I asked and now we have some food again for the week.  Or at least a good part of it.  THAT was when I started feeling strange.  As in out of control and sort of helpless.  Through the week, I just had various friends and Fred warm things up for me.  I was still feeling in control or prepared or something. Yesterday I had to tell Rose what to do- and that was freaking weird. I was in the kitchen with her a long time, until I had to eventually sit down and ice my ankle (who decided to act up) and my elbows.  So I sat there while she cleaned my kitchen and finished supper. She is awesome!  I don't feel I can describe very well the odd feeling it was sitting there with my feet up, wrapped in a blanket watching her put my dishes away.  Yeah-

Anyway, I know there are those of you who want to say, let yourself heal, and I do get it.  I know for a fact this morning (where yesterday I wasn't convinced) that I do need to be home for another week.  I do know I couldn't do what I do at school.  And I have a feeling I am going to have to rearrange my lessons for the little kids, since I am not sure I can deal with 25 lb bags of clay. Hmmm.  Well I will cross that bridge a week from today.  At any rate, even if I have to be patient, I am still fighting it in my mind.  So I will let that happen, I just have to do it at my own speed.

Anyway, according to my little calendar in the corner of my Mac here it became February over night! Holy smokes!  No wonder the MA has been at work so much!  I know I know, I kid.

Anyway, I have sort of talked myself out of a funk here, so yay!  Off to Sunday, I am going to get driven into school so I can have my Seester set out some art supplies for the subs for the week and I can leave love notes for my kids at school and then put that part of my mind at ease.

So everyone, today be a joy giver, really watch out on the ice if that is part of your world and Happy Sunday!


  1. Sometimes life throws in stuff like this and suddenly you have the change the way you've done EVERYTHING for years and years. I know how tough it must be for you to not be able to be independent because you are a very vibrant person! I think your healing time may take longer than you are thinking. I hope that while you are healing, instead of thinking what you will need to do in the future at school with the kids, etc. you're able to take some time off mentally as well and worry about that stuff later. The kids will like anything you present!

    1. Thank you Tanya! I will miss seeing you Tuesday!

  2. Deb I would be careful one of the things I realized when I broke myself was it it's really easy for your sleep schedule to get totally whacked around important to trying keep it straight.