Ok, so I was actually delighted to go to the Dr. yesterday with X-rays first, because I thought I would pretty much get the all clear.... the go ahead and lift and pull and push all the stuff that you want, because you are as good as you are going to get message. Rock on with your bad-ass self. (Yes, I say that kind of thing to myself, and if you don't, you should). I went to X-ray, had a nice chat with my former student Val- who, btw, was my technician 6 weeks ago - and headed over to Orthopedics. I must interject that melting snow and 56 degree temps had my spirit soaring! SO NICE OUT!!
Anyway, I got in immediately to see my PA and we had a great time chatting about all sorts of things before we took a look at the X-rays. She is impressed with my recovery, and I will be getting through the range of motion issue through more stretching things, etc, and all that sort of thing. I got to look with her at the films on the computer, and the left arm had a nice white line where everything was healing nicely. My more troublesome right arm was a different story. This is hard to describe, but the little piece where the fracture had been intact- a little triangle between the crack and the outside edge of the radial head- had some time in the last 4 weeks slipped down a smidge. The sucker had moved! WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING HELL?????
You could see at the top where there cells are regrowing and beginning to smooth over the little dip and it is over all ok, but you know what she said of course. You have to "take it easy". No, you should probably not lift 50 lb boxes of clay, or 50 lb feed bags and if you feel pain or a lot of pressure, you shouldn't do that either. Until Easterish. I don't know if anyone is listening to me, but I have a play to put on and it involves doing things. I am so annoyed.
I, of course, started WRACKING my brain trying to think of what I could possibly have done?? I swear that I was being careful. The Mad-Science teacher sheepishly interjected that I probably have not been taking it as easy as I thought I was. Of course she's probably right, but I felt like I WAS taking it easy. It was also pointed out to me that sometimes that is just the way life goes... ugh. sigh. It isn't how I had planned for it to go though...
I got through scenery painting with fairly good humor, got tons done, painted with my left hand a lot because, guess what!! My previously not sore right arm decided that those x-rays were one thing too much for the day, and btw, Debi, now that you mention it, I think I am going to hurt and be stiff, you know because you managed to mess up this fairly simple injury, so go take an Aleve and get over yourself--- that arm needs a stern talking to for being so lippy. When I got home I dissolved into a heap for a while and thought through my next 3 weeks. Good thing I have amazing friends who virtually patted my head and dried my tears and told me I'll be fine. HAHA and eventually the MA showed up, and was somewhat reassuring as well! Ah, tax season.
So this morning, I am feeling pretty optimistic and happy again, which I knew I would be. I just can't be bothered to wallow in self pity, because it drives me insane. And I have shit to do, so I need to focus. I can't let this alter my drive to get somewhere near caught up
What lesson is this universe trying to teach? I know what it is, I just don't have time for it. And there in lies the answer. If you don't think you have the time, you might just be forced to alter your path a little. Ask for a little more help for just a little while longer. Even if it makes you want to bang your head against the nearest wall. I am going to be digging deep for my zen, for my center, for my inner peace.
And always always, where ever I can get it, seek out my joy.
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