Friday, April 15, 2016

A whole lot of meh today

Usually Friday is my favorite day of the week- the working week that is.  For obvious reasons- the weekend is coming, duh, and for other more personal reasons, such as the nice chunk of prep time I have, but only on Friday and the fact that I get to eat with other adults on Fridays, too.  AND I have great classes in the afternoon.....  so it is rare that I wake up in a sort of funk.

But indeed that happened today, and it was in no small measure because for the 3rd day in a row, for no obvious reason, I slept horrible.  Had a hard time falling asleep and woke up a number of times.  It was irritating, and I have a feeling being a little bit sleepy didn't help my mood. It has been an interesting week at school, to say the least and I was a little short with the silliness of the high schoolers today.  But, they know this is rare and will be happy to see the real me on Monday.

I went home with full intention of spending the whole afternoon and evening outside maybe weeding, but I just wasn't feeling that either.

Yeah, well, I have been alluding to the fact that I am sort of sick of tax season- and that definitely has something to do with it.  I know all about how long the MA has been working, like until 9, for the last few weeks, but it really gets to me too.  Anyway, that and along with the loss of my partner in adventure-- and I am struggling.

Yesterday I listened to a really interesting podcast, and a portion of it was a discussion of introverts and extroverts.    This person postulated that the true definition of an introvert is that they are recharged by being alone and that extroverts get their energy from being with other people.  It seems this is an accurate definition, and know for a fact that I am indeed an extrovert.  While I need my alone time- daily- for an hour in the morning and a wind down time in the afternoon, I definitely know that I recharge from other people.  It is why I teach what I do, it is why I communicate with a few people multiple times a day, and lots of people occasionally.  I still maintain that I am on the shyer side of extrovert- though it may not seem like it- I really have a hard time talking with some people that I come across.  I am sure that most people feel this way, but I still feel sometimes like the little girl who was mostly mute when encountering new people.

That podcast was quite interesting to listen to because it made so much sense.  And when I was going through my day of sad, I could begin to understand the reasons behind it.  Of course, I have been left to my own devices for several months- which at the beginning is always a nice thing.  I am in charge of the remote and I run my schedule without too much regard to the other person in the house.... but I am ready to be chauffeured around at sunset with my camera in tow, and having someone to chat with for longer than the few minutes in the morning and evening.  I like being alone, but I am ready for a change.

My adventure partner issue is a little more complex, but I am hoping now that I will have 2 kayaks I can lure and entice my friends to come and have fun with me!!  :)  I can outfit them from boat to paddles to life jackets to dry bags and will definitely provide snacks and post paddle refreshments! The lack of a companion boat definitely was a limiting factor last year and I am looking forward to sharing my passion with others.  If you are reading this and want to play- TELL ME!!  The water will be a little warmer in May- it is super cold right now.  Just what I would need is to have someone go over and get hypothermia.

Anyway, I realize that I need more adult interactions to say the least.   And possibly some grandchildren interactions as well, as they come hand in hand with some of the best adults that I know.   It is kind of a cool thing to identify the issue and figure out ways to deal with it in a positive way.   It is cool, but it did not make my evening a whole lot more happy, but I know that happy isn't necessary every moment of the day. I think really I need to go to sleep.

So tomorrow I hope to find my joy again, wake up with a smile, tackle the beautiful 70 degree day in a positive way, take some PICTURES!!  and be a joy giver.  I hope your Saturday can be the best one possible.


  1. You'll get 'em tomorrow. Sorry I have not been providing enough adult company -- not only do you have tax season, you have baseball season to contend with!

    1. I guess I will have to dress up in Orioles colors! :) it's always something. I'll be fine. Just a moment of being off kilter