Is it bedtime, yet??

I am definitely paying for my weekend this morning.

Staying up late for prom two nights in a row was the start of it.  That just is self explanatory.  It was a really good night for us and the kids.  

The nice weather is the other factor.  I went for a couple of really long walks.  Sunday found me cutting down brown, dead stuff in the garden, digging out a few plants, filling the wheelbarrow, checking the bees, directing the MA as he used the tractor to fix the massive chunks of lawn the snowplow took out this past fall, raking, and a bunch of other things I can't remember.  I have some photos but I frankly can't be bothered to post them right now....  Lol.

My legs are really tired from the shoveling, my elbow is tired from all sorts of stuff and my eyes are tired from yet again not falling asleep in a timely manner.

On a positive note, we got to talk to the Mad-second son last night for a long time and we get to FaceTime with miss Ella and her parents tonight.  And plans are underway for visits from both of them, so that definitely made my night.

There is a week of wonderful weather evenings coming up and a plan for a day trip on Saturday!  So this is looking good.  Daffodils continue to open and there should be a massive bloom happening later in the week!!!

In spite of exhaustion, I am feeling ever optimistic and summer is ON ITS WAY!!  So many YESES to that!!!!

Planning to find all the joy that I can until then!  :)

Anyone wanna go to Prom??

I am a junior class advisor- sort of the honorary one, since through a complicated set of reasons, I have no actual students to advise- and this weekend is Prom.  Starting tonight and continuing tomorrow night, I get to hang out at school (along with my long suffering colleagues) and be immersed in the drama that is the junior prom.

In our cranky, old, grown-up way we have been trying to keep the students from screaming at arguing with each other too much, spending thousands of dollars and spoiling their night before it even starts.  I OPENLY admit that I haven't had to do too much yet, again because of my schedule and student load, so I don't want to sound like I am complaining.  I was not the one who is in the middle of all of the action, but since I orchestrate the back stage of the play every year, I am happy to take a back seat.

We have, again, in our adult way, complained about all the drama and materials that go into a night that lasts only a few hours and they spend a lot of that time not even at school!  But upon reflection, I guess there are a lot of opportunities for learning in all of this.  Like compromise, getting along with others- even if they have WILDLY different opinions, planning, and actually getting to watch the space they see every day become a totally different environment.

Those of you who actually went to prom undoubtedly have memories from it.  I personally don't, as I didn't attend.  I made the posters for them in the art department for 2 years, and I actually probably have a copy of those somewhere, funnily enough.  But there are those who speak of that night fondly, and I think it will be a nice evening for the kids.  I do not remember prom being a community event where I came from, but it certainly is here.  Many people come and watch the Grand March, so if it gets people talking about the students in a positive way, then that is worth it.

As for me, I am shaking off the feeling that I will be losing my weekend!  I use that time to recover and recharge.....  I will be feeding off the kid's enthusiasm today and tonight and tomorrow.  Hence I have a bit of melancholy today, from all sorts of things this week.  These wild swings I had of the lowest lows and some pretty amazing highs is taking a toll on me this morning.  While I slept, I am pretty tired, y'all.

So, I am going to get all cleaned up and rev my engines and get psyched up for the weekend.  I get to come home for a few moments after school to take care of my JacPot chores and such and then go back for the duration.  There could be a cocktail in my future at the end of this day!

Have a great Friday and give away some of your joy today!

Mind blown!

I had my mind blown a few times all in one day recently, not always in a good way, but that is ok too.  I briefly alluded to the first and not too fun one in some  previous posts.  Interestingly and sort of randomly, I also had a scientific discussion on that same day and was directed towards a theory of multiple universes.  I definitely am going to read up more on the parallel  or  many-worlds universe theory.  While I've heard of these in a vague way, I was fascinated with the whole thing. I wonder what I am up to in a parallel universe!?!  I like to think about stuff like that!  Sciencey stuff is so cool!

Anyway, on FaceBook,  I came across a blog post that I actually put on my own page.  It was so powerful and meaningful for me.  Mind-blowing.  This post was where I was about 2 years ago.  I have had a lot happen in the last 2 years, and I have wanted to write about my thoughts and actual experiences since, but have hesitated as I was unable to articulate it like I want.  I have made a few stabs at it, but the ideas that she states here were a jumping off point for me.

The After Myth- (on Can Anybody Hear Me blog by Lisa) is alluding to the widely held supposition that after you lose weight - get to your goal, become" fit and healthy"- how good life will be.  This is one of the biggest con jobs and/or fairy tales that exist in today's culture.  There is no "after" when you lose weight.  You suddenly (or not so suddenly) are "there" but you don't feel that way.  One morning after you step on the scale,  you are at this place that you are supposed to be free of all your troubles and you should have all your shit together and you really don't have to think about what you eat anymore, or you don't think you should have to, because after all- you are at goal weight.  Well, it doesn't happen that way at all.  Lisa surely has that right!

Up until that goal weight moment, I had been on a mission. I, like many people, had defined myself by a large period of time where I was losing weight.  Losing weight to the point of starving myself and crying over the fact that I ate more than half the dinner I had ordered one night - the plan being to take half home.  But I was so fucking hungry that I had a little more and a little more and the drink I was having might have made me eat more than I planned.  And I fell to pieces just because I NEEDED to get to a magical number on a scale. I remember this moment because somewhere deep inside I knew this sort of insanity was just wrong.

I actually had no idea what I actually looked like, as the ED and disordered thinking that had taken hold could only see that last bit of belly that was there, or the way my legs looked, or the fact that my muscle's definition hadn't yet occurred like I wanted.  I was defined by the fact that I was losing weight and I had a goal and I would have done ANYTHING, including exercising for 4 or more hours per day to achieve it.

God I'm exhausted just remembering it.  I spent so much money on all the "right" foods and supplements- organic this, high protein that, eating clean and leaving out evil things and replacing them with good things that don't taste nearly as good, but some blogger somewhere has deemed them the right thing to consume.

Anyway, back to after.  When I got to After I was freaking lost.  And frankly tired.  And that struggle continues to a degree.  If you aren't eating just the way you were before, it seems you are going to gain weight.  And I personally did.  And I struggled not to, but I couldn't not eat any more.  And then I got to feel like a failure again, convinced that I would regain all of my weight just like I lost it.  Because that was the only thing that was important in my mind, the number on the scale..... the size of my clothes.... and what am I going to eat.

I was so sick of thinking about stupid food every damn minute of my life.

I knew I had to change something.  I don't exactly remember how it all happened, but I started reading blogs by people who were looking to help others heal themselves and their weird ass relationship with food of all things. I read and I listened to podcasts and made little tiny adjustments in my thinking.  I learned that I should NOT let my self worth be dictated by what I put in my mouth.  Food is food- there is NO good or bad.  You eat it, it does not make you a virtuous or a bad person.  There should be no moral judgements about a person because of what they eat.  Eyes on your own plate people!  And while I still hear that Debi who wants to stress eat, and to worry about everything, and who still frequently feels less than worthy, I tell her everything is ok and let her relax.  And she is ok with that.

So fast forward here 2 years and guess what!!  I don't think about food all that much any more.  I wish I could tell the girl in the blog that her weight is seriously immaterial to living her life.  She touches on that very thing, but she is not really in the After yet like she thinks. She still is thinking about the numbers.  She is still concerned about her weight more than what she is gets to do today to be even more fantastic and make her life even more awesome- and sweetie, it has little to do with how much you weigh.

I really REALLY wish I could tell the girl that was me how weight loss, though important for my growth as a person, was not the final step. That the final weight I thought I would be at is SO not something that matters.  I have had an interesting personal journey that has had me quit doing a lot of things, including weighing myself.  Unfortunately,  I can't yet let myself know what that number is.  They occasionally are able to jolly me into getting me on the scale at the clinic, but I won't let them tell me and they honor that.  It still freaks me out to possibly know. Someday I won't care enough finally and will be able to know whatever that number is.  Does that make sense? 

The thing is that your weight will go up and down over your life.  You won't stay at that goal and you shouldn't feel like you have to.  In her blog, the writer states so poignantly that she still struggles with her weight- I wish I could tell her that she doesn't have to struggle at all.  Let your body do what it wants!  Once you work through some of the underlying actual issues (I recommend life coaching- HIGHLY.  PM me if you want info on the wonderful Anne-Sophie who is mine), you don't have to struggle with it much at all.  It is not simple, or easy, but it is a really good place to be.  You can't fall off the wagon if there is no wagon to fall off of.  Think about that for a while.....  weight comes and goes, you lose it you gain it.  Just like you have long hair or short.  It changes and never ever stays the same.  And it is good because you are still you.

 You are still you.  You are the same person that weighed 75 pounds more or less.  The same person when you weigh 25 or 30 pounds more than some crazy ass goal that you set for yourself.  The same scared, happy, emotional, sensitive person wearing a size 10 (or what ever) as the one who wore a size 18.  Your friends love you the same, your students love you the same, your family does too.  The weight loss does not make you better or worse, just different.  We need to live our life the best way we are able to in the moment that we in.  We should not be defined by our weight, our "diet" or our clothing size.  We are not a number on a scale.  We should not give one flying fuck what anyone thinks about how we look. The important person there is you and you alone.  Your self worth should not be dictated by a society, it should be internal and personal, dictated by your character and the way you love.

Let me make it clear, you do get treated differently by many people when you are thinner.  Life is easier if you fall into the parameters of what society feels is normal.  People treat heavy people like crap- and that is so unfair.  I hear my students talk about themselves in such a negative way sometimes and it breaks my heart.  I never miss the chance to tell them how beautiful they are, and their weight has nothing to do with it-  they are amazing!   And we need to tell ourselves that as well. 

Though it sounds like I am trashing my weight loss journey, I am NOT.  First of all, my life is so much the richer for getting strong. (Strong, not thin)  I do so much more in my day now that I am doing the things: things that challenge me, things that delight me, things that frighten me.  Fear has held me back for so so long. Losing weight gave me the courage to start weight training: my strength, both physical and mental, that I use now to push my boundaries and my limits.  But I do not regret the person I was before, because that is and was me.  Why does different than before have to be better or worse?  And the people that I have met during that particular time, virtually and in person, have enriched my life in so many ways that I can't even begin to quantify it.  So while I do wish I wouldn't have been so extreme, that just isn't me.  I tend to jump in with both feet and see what the heck happens later.  Underneath I am still very scared, and actually very shy and certainly insecure.  But you just don't see it, because I have gained so much more than I lost.

So, I guess my point is that I wish I could impart on people who are frantically trying to become some sort of after in their life, that they need to live in the now.  During!  You are not a work in progress, you guys.  You are not a project.  You don't need to be fixed.  You are amazing and perfect the way you are.  You don't have to kill yourself exercising for hours, you don't have to be hungry every minute, you don't have to try and hide yourself in black clothes or excuse yourself for how much you weigh.  Because when it all comes down to it, you have to live in your body and you have to do what you need to do.  Being thinner does very little to make you happy.  And life is way too short to feel guilty over what you eat.

Be a  joy giver, but don't be afraid to feel all the things that life gives you. You just never know what those things are going to be! Be brave, Debi!  :)

Feeling.....

Be a joy giver.  Find your joy.  Spread it around. Don't be a joy stealer.

All of those things.  

The truth in life is that sometimes Things. Just . Suck.

My instinct is to avoid, run, ignore, pretend.  

Sometimes, though, you have to feel all the feels.  Well, I felt them all last night.  And I have a feelings hangover this morning, thank you very much.  I do wish I would have had the tequila I thought about having.  I do have a lime in the frig after all.  

But that would not have erased the heaviness in my heart and the fact that I am going to have an extraordinary friend move on to a new place.

I am hoping that in some way I do NOT understand yet- good things will come from this.  I'm pretty sure it will, at least for someone.  But until then, I am not enjoying this at all.

Spring on pause

I assume you can see the disturbing view from the window....

I went out on Sunday and brought in a few of my daffodils so I can enjoy them in here.  Heaven knows being outside isn't particularly enjoyable at this point.  

The forecast has changed wildly from day to day- right now this is looking like the last day of snow.  Ha- we shall see! But warmth is not part of Mother Nature's plan for a while.  Oh well, it is still April!

And as many people have mentioned- this won't last.

But until that time where it is warmish again,  I will enjoy 3 of my daffodil varieties!  

Hope you find something bright and warm and sunny in your day, too.  And hopefully you can spread a little of your joy.

smile!

Lol, I saw this and just had to......  it's just so joyful and full of me!

Be a joy giver the best way you know how.  And do it often!

A beeeee-zy day

LOL! I didn't notice my finger in the way!!  I was laying down in the flower bed to get this with my phone.  Eh, deal with it

Well, here it is at an ungodly hour on Saturday morning and I am awake.  This is somewhat unfortunate, as once again I slept fitfully last night.  I tried 3 different locations to find some sleep, none of which worked particularly well.  I don't understand what is going on, but fortunately I am not tired during the day.  Oh well.  And of COURSE when I could sleep at the end of the night, you-know-who was up and at 'em early, because he does not have to be at the office until 8pm tonight.  He actually worked late the 16 th and 17th as well, which seems somewhat unfair, however, so is waking up at 5:45 when one slept like crap.  Oy.  I think someone needs to kidnap me, and ply me with liquor or sleeping pills and then guard the door to a very quiet, cold, dark room and let me conk out for 12 hours.  Is that really asking too much??  Yes?  Rats.  Well a girl can dream.

Oh yum, a little hidden pocket of honey!  I think someone will enjoy this!  (and while I had a taste, I actually meant the bees!)

Alright, well anyway, today will be a fun day.  I actually plan to sneak a walk in here soon, but then later this morning we are heading out to pick up more bees.  Ours did not live the winter, and we are going to take a crack at it again. (The Mad-Middle son informed me that 40 - 60% of the hives even raised by professional beekeepers are lost each winter)  It was ever so amusing to tend those little things, and nice to have a clue what we are doing this time.  We are getting 3 packages this time, one of which is going inside the garden.  We cleaned up the hives and located the supplies and are almost ready for them.

We will be picking them up at Hansen's Honey Farm (which is really just a house) in Rhinelander today.  But FIRST! I get to eat Mexican and I *might* have plans for a midday Margarita!!  :)  Because why the heck not.  Plus a stop at Golden Harvest (which the MA refers to as the hippy place, which really isn't so much now) to pick up a few goodies, including some of their sublime bakery items.  YaY!

Traveling with a back seat full of humming bees is an interesting thing to do. We were diligent last year about brushing off the hitchhikers, which we need to do again this year as well.  Honey bees are really very docile, but I don't think I want one flying around in my face in the truck.

My Tete-a-tete mini daffs!!!

Meanwhile, back at Lola's flower garden we have these!  I was SO EXCITED to see these yesterday afternoon!!  YAY for spring!!  I am going to enjoy the heck out of today (like I have the last few days) because our weather is taking a turn for a little stretch tomorrow.

Find some joy in your day today, and maybe you will have time for a nap too!  Or a mid-day Margarita!  I know you are all jealous.....  hehehe

Chitty-Chatty

I have noticed that I am very talkative on this blog lately.  Interesting how an unexpected turn of events can change your patterns in life.  This might be a Captain Obvious statement, but oh well.  It was something that struck me this morning.

I found myself awake a lot last night, which isn't all that unusual, but then wide awake at 4:15 was sort of a pain.  I dozed off and on and just decided to get going a little before 5.....  Now if I actually went into work early and got something accomplished that would probably be pretty awesome, but I am sort of addicted to my coffee and quiet time here.

Tax season is done today and my life after school will take another wild swing.  Instead of having literally hours to myself, the MA will be lurking about the area.  He has put in some crazy long hours this tax season, good grief. You'd think after this many years it wouldn't be quite so much, but it was.  I don't do real well alone so much, however, it'll be an adjustment.  Lol, this happens every year- AT LEAST it will be nice outside and he can go and rake and get ready for the bees and all the things that MA likes to do.  The last 2 years that didn't really happen, as there was still snow on the ground.  There will be one happy accountant here.

Speaking of beeeeeez, they are coming to Rhinelander on Friday, so we will pick the little buggers up on Saturday.  It'll be nice to have the kids back!  We will probably be making a sugar run in the next few weeks- early May I should imagine.  Sugar run= Sam's Club for massive bags o' sugar.  That will coincide with some quality gramma time with both of my little ones.

Last thing to update: I am getting back into fighting shape so to speak.  My aerobic fitness is well on its way to being back to normal- and I am working on my weight training again.  It is all really light weight and not a lot of reps, but I am working on it.  I am, surprisingly, able to do full pushups!!  I did 10 last night. Frankly, I am shocked.  I feel weak and pathetic, but apparently there is some muscle tone still lurking about the area.  A few weeks and I will get back to the gym again.  Don't worry all of you, I promise I will take it slow, if you promise I'll get my strength back!


That is kind of all I have for now.  I need to think about lunch and what to wear and all that other morning routine things.

Hope all of you find a big ole bunch of joy in your day today!  Pass it around!

Art show and other thangs

Yesterday turned out to be a very busy, but ok day.  I hit the ground running at school and barely got time to sit.  After starting some new projects with the High School kids, I also was zipping around getting ready for the art show I put up after school.

I will say I used to do a lot more to prep for art shows.  I used to make sure I had little name tags and most had some sort of faux frame and just fancied it up in general.  I just do NOT have time for that anymore.  People don't seem to notice, or else they just don't mention it.  I have too many classes each week to have the time for fussing.  My two rooms still look like a bomb went off in them in certain places, I am making a little headway, but it is a constant battle.  Oh well.

So anyway, an art show went up at the Credit Union and it was SO sweet- I had 3 people from the community in that hour tell me how much they liked seeing the art work.  It was fun to hear their obvious joy!  It will be up for a couple of weeks.  Every time I put up a show I see how my preferences as an art teacher is mixing some realism with a lot of abstracty stuff.  It makes me happy to see it, but I wonder how the community likes it.  Not that them liking it is any overriding goal of mine.....  Just a random musing, here.  I want them to express themselves more than I am worried about a specific method.

Speaking of adorable (well I am now) I had a Kindergarten class yesterday who was exuberant shall we say!  Lol, that means they were not quite in the listening mode.  We had a project to finish, so we did that and then usually free drawing makes them very happy.  That was one NOISY group of kiddos, so I pulled out some origami paper and enticed them a few at a time over by me for mini cup folding lesson refreshers.  I eventually lured them all over to me and we even took a pic of our finished cups.  It was nice to have the noise level drop for that last 15 minutes and they LOVE to fold origami things.  So cute.

I have been LOVING this gorgeous spring weather!  I have put on over 20 miles on the road since last Friday.  I can kind of feel the stiffness in my lower legs today, mostly because I am almost back to my regular speed of walking.  I have been purposely walking faster- gotta get my groove back.   My times on Runkeeper don't look a lot faster as I have been taking photos with this amazing new phone.  The camera is really nice and there is an excellent in app editing system now that lets me circumvent Snapseed or Aviary.  **LOVE**

Speaking of ANNOYING, I went to pick up phone case at our local retail business establishment and they had NONE for iPhone 6..... are you KIDDING me?? I am not exactly in the first wave of 6 buyers.  Usually I am way far behind on phones and trying to scavenge for an old case.  Ugh.  I have some specific needs for cases, and so I like to be able to feel them to make sure they aren't too slippery and I don't want them to interfere with sliding in and out of my pocket when I walk,  etc.  And of course it needs to be minimally bright and preferably cute.  Sigh.  So, Amazon.  I might have my own personal shopper, ahemcoughRosecough, look for something for me.  :)  It should be here tomorrow on good old April 15.

Anyway, that is what I have this morning.  I do plan to get in another weight session tonight and most likely a walk again.  If nothing else I will take another spin down to Smith Lake.  It is a nice shortish (2.5 mile) trek with lots of hills and of course the gift of Smith Lake at the end.  

Be a joy giver today everyone!!

Back to optimism

It rained last night!  And hearing that this morning when I woke up the first time definitely gave me a smile.  The week is supposed to be sunny and warm, and with that  and the rains will come


DAFFODILS

Which I could use right about now.


Sunny is my motto today.  Because if I don't find the good in the day, I might fade away.

BUT, don't worry about me - I will be fine.


Be a joy giver, even if there are a few clouds around.

It's like that...

I'm having one of those days. Where something has spun out of control. And you're so worried and upset about it that nothing in life seems right. 

And then things that never would bother you - you would pay no attention to- suddenly make you want to climb the walls. And you are pretty sure the people around you think you are either insane or ridiculous. Which could be true I guess. 

Or more likely no one noticed at all. Sigh. And then you realize you need to pull yourself together. Fast. 

I had one of those days

New day tomorrow 

Spring is arriving in the north

Ohhhh so exciting!!! It is going to get warm today! And stay warm for the foreseeable future. Of course this is a relative thing, but 60's and eventually 70 is going to be amazing!! Expect to see pale northern legs and toes in shorts and flip flops!! :)

Lola is happy for sunshine too

This morning was frosty but that is ok with the promise of warmth and sun. Yay for Wisconsin. 

Frosty daffodils- these will bloom by the end of the week!!  Woo HOO

Hen and chicks that lasted the winter

This will indeed be a joyful day!  Might have to work in the flower garden at some point!  :)

FINALLY!

There is a lot of stuff going on around here right now, and some of it is going to affect my life in an EXTRAORDINARILY NEGATIVE way.  But I am not going into that, because I can't think about it quite yet.

Blood pressure took a dive and a giant smile of relief- first pic on the new phone!  NO SPECK

Besides that, plus the fact that it snowed- again- last night, there are a couple of good things that are going on, and I will share a few!

The first, FINALLY, is the fact that I got myself a new phone!  My old phone would have been perfectly fine for a long time yet except for 2 major things.  First and mostly, the off button was not reliably working anymore and (in reality, this was a bigger thing) the stinking speck on my camera lens- under the glass.  You know, the one where people kept thinking I took a pic of an eagle???  And then there was the blurry spot where I tried to rub said speck off the outside when indeed it was under the glass??  oy.  You may not have noticed it because usually I edited it out, but not always.  And let's be serious here, you KNOW how twitchy that damn spot has made me, even if I never really mentioned it.  I am SO excited.  As for the rest of the phone, it is fine.  I do like me my iPhones!!  There are some fun new things in this IOS and the phone is a little bigger.

I would like to give a HUGE shout out and thanks to my friends Cathy and Ed for letting me use their zippy internet and being in the room with me to encourage deep relaxing breaths when the last little bit of a zillion different updates and downloads took their sweet time finishing.  As much as I am a techie girl, I love doing so many things, this whole phone thing gave me a lot of anxious moments.  Anyway, it was so kind of them and I appreciate it so very very much!

NEXT, I went to the Orthopedic dr one last time (I assume) yesterday.  I had some questions about my arm, which is so much better, and does get better every day.  There are some weird little things that go on and I had concerns about things, and I got more xrays and had many questions answered. AND people--------I GET TO START WEIGHT LIFTING AGAIN!!!!!


 **pause for happy dancing***


Of course I have been admonished to not over do it right away (wut? wait? you mean ME??) and I will not.  I will workout here before heading back to the Ghetto gym- I can use my lighter weights here.

Since it is heading towards time for me to get myself going, I better be done with these little bits of good news.  I am focusing on the positive for now!  And I am hoping for the best with everything else.

Tired....

I don't post late night very often, but I haven't been getting in my quiet time in the morning lately, so this is the best I can do for now.

Lola was sad this morning

I'm tired and you know what??  I think I am losing my voice.  This is not going to be good.

I talked ALL day long:  I had a new presentation to give to all three hours of High School art, lasting each at least 30 minutes.  Then I had to circulate and answer questions, and all that good stuff. After a quick lunch,  my first graders had a tell and do lesson, where I told them what to draw and paint and then they do it.  Color mixing at it's first grade finest!  Which means I talked the whole hour, then the 4th and 5th graders had a 2 part lesson today- which of course means Mrs. Oswald  talked at least 2/3 of the day.  Add in a little nasal involvement and you have the recipe for some soft and deep vocal ranges.  Now if I had stopped talking right away upon discovering that I was getting hoarse, things might have had a different outcome. But that couldn't happen.

I see you! The origami eye project the 4th and 5th grade did today

So, everyone in the morning should be fairly ready to work, and I will only have kindergarten and 2nd grade to concern myself with.

IN other news, I have one more Dr. appointment for my arm on Thursday.  It is a little concerning to me because of the fatigue and crackling that is happening in my elbowage area.  When I was folding my nifty little origami eyes that the 4th and 5th graders have/will be making, there was all sort of weird things happening in there.  Fortunately, the pain has subsided, but there is definite lack of normalcy.

We had snow here the other day, which I sort of refuse to acknowledge, other than the fact it is good that we are getting a little precip.  Don't need any fires now, do we?

So yeah, that is all I have for now.  Now that I have been doing more blog posts, it feels like I should update more often!

And so here it is!  :)

Hope you all can find your joy tomorrow, after a really good nights' sleep!  ;)

Too much time...

Too much time, too much energy, not ready to do something about it right now.

I am full of restless today.  I've walked for 2 hours, lunched, washed clothes, folded, cleaned, straightened, put away things, made cheese cake, boiled eggs, texted friends, lost and found my lens cap and FINALLY after 8 (or is it 9??) weeks changed the horse feed bag myself AND am now carrying full buckets of water.  BAM.

However, I am so out of sorts.  So turbulent.  I need summer, I need the weather to do my mosaics and gardens and I. NEED. A. GYM.

I am spending far too much time in my own little world in my head, and I am about ready to go insane.  No company for Easter- except for the elusive Mike who WILL come and partake of Easter dinner.  So that is good!!  And he may find an Easter basket, because after all, anyone who comes to my house on Easter gets a basket.  If they are like an off-spring.  Or a spouse I suppose.  Lol  

I may have purchased and am now hoarding the best candy of all ahem-cadburyminiwhitesugareggs-cough.  But that may be just a vicious rumor.  I'll never tell at any rate.  

So instead of sitting in here and pouting over really nothing at all and everything in general, I think I am going to go for another walk. Because I can and it is "spring break" - such as it is.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring- rain, snow, sleet, sun....  may as well do something enjoyable.  And take a few pix along the way.

Find your joy where you can!